Captain Nessman of the High Seas, and Mercedes and the Financial Times

After seeing Auntie Karen and Ian the Musical Hat Maker yesterday I was pleased to hear from Captain Nessman of the High Seas he is doing extremely well. Although it was a short message and he said he was learning Chinese and his plans are all going as planned which is what is meant to happen with plans. He is in a new world although I am not sure where it is.  

Back in Montgomery I have been sat on top of the big hedge again cutting it, in fact I had several pallets on the top so I could walk up and down to cut the edges, Mercedes could see me on top of the hedge from Mr Jenkins side of the hedge so she came round and helped by cutting the lawn saying that the workers must maintain unity in the face of creeping corporate capitalism (I don’t think that was a reference to the hedge growing). It did not help that both the dog and Rusty the Robot Dog were sat in deckchairs watching us while reading the Financial Times and texting Mercedes’s dad about stocks and shares and investment portfolio’s.  In the end Mercedes ran over the Financial Times with the lawn mower and called the dogs Capitalist ************ dogs to which they said WOOF and fell about laughing. Mercedes said they were IDIOTS.

After Captain Nessman being in contact and the comments yesterday about a deceased budgie Pirate Pete is pining for the fjords and told us all he plans to return to sea and new adventures somewhere in volume two of my diary. Captain Flint the Parrot is complaining now he says that the references to a deceased parrot are in bad taste and we should have used the spam sketch.

Jim is still exploring the woods with his film crew although apparently several more of them have been eaten; Jim blames the mix up on Transatlantic English Language and the wildlife in the wood appears to all speak old English and for some reason don’t like him and the film crew. It does not help that the film crew have taken to driving about in the Hummer again because they find the woods scary. Mercedes has said Jim has turned into a brash Hollywood Capitalist ********* and says he is an IDIOT. Mum says she likes Mercedes and agrees that Jim is an IDIOT although the dog has pointed out he has very talented Hamsters.