Tuesday, 9 August 2011

The Ghost of Steven Spielberg playing the bagpipes and three feet long Cock Roaches.

There have been riots in London the last couple of nights with looting and burning down homes and businesses for what appears to be no rational reason what so ever. Therefore it is nice to live in the environment we do. Only last night due to a strange and quirky coincidence it was not quiet and we all had to stuff cotton wool in our ears, even Rusty.

About one o’clock in the morning we were all woken up by the strange sound of a ghost playing the bagpipes very badly indeed, at first we all thought it was The Ghost of Steven Spielberg. Rumour does have it the he is rubbish at playing the bagpipes; dad even threatened to go and sort him out and suck him up in the vacuum cleaner. In the end however it turned out to be a burglar alarm which had gone faulty and was screaming at us all. So instead of the quiet night in the rural hills of Welsh cyberspace it was noise noise noise and not a single riot within one hundred miles. Mum and dad think it was the burglar alarms farewell lament to them before we hopefully all move house in time for the seagull; sorry I mean sequel book movie etc.

This morning a man came and put a box full of padding over the alarm because having taken the fuse out and disconnected all the power it was still screaming at us. Then about half an hour later another man came and put a bigger box full of sound insulation over the first box full of sound insulation but it was still very noisy. Mum did say burglar alarms are designed to keep going whatever, or else burglars would be able to deactivate them which would defeat the reason for having it in the first place. This is fine until it all goes wrong and a man has to come from a long way away. He did in the end but PHEW it was a noisy day.

Nelson Beelzebub’s Very Strange Victorian Curiosity Shop does not have a burglar alarm, he has three feet long Cock Roaches who are allowed to eat burglar’s and shop lifters as long as they don’t leave bits of limb lying about. I went to see him this afternoon and I did find a leg so he was a little annoyed, we think it might have been a looter because there was a plasma television lying next to the leg, that was made by John Logie Baird in 1925 (the television not the leg).

Anyway everything is very peaceful again now because everyone is tired and the alarm is quiet again as for the riots who can tell it is still sunny and to tell the truth we were not expecting riots in my diary until the first night of the Block buster movie when everyone will be trying to get in to see it. Mum just said IDIOT again, I have warned her it might become her catch phrase but she has made a rude gesture, that will have to be left out, as this is a family movie.

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