Monday, 18 April 2011
Gandhi and the traffic calming experiment and Auntie Karen and Mr Ian the friendly local rock star
I was out today taking the dog for a walk round the town. We were trying out the latest dog satellite navigation system. It has been specially designed to be dog friendly and was developed to help dog owners and the dog take a different route each day without meeting any signs saying NO DOGS. It has areas of special interest marked like trees and cats and dog friendly butchers and other stuff.
The dog said it might be alright for most dogs but he is quite capable of reading an OS map and using a compass and the NO DOGS signs don’t count for him since he was given freedom of the town. He was granted that after he stopped a stampeding herd of Water Buffalo from charging down the high street and through the council chamber. So he not only saved all the people on the high street but he also saved the vote on amendment 17 of the Councils Highways Act which means that they were able to introduce a new experimental traffic calming device like a speed hump. It operates a jack in the box device where a life size Gandhi leaps out the road and tells you to slow down and then sits in front of you for half an hour. It is quite good because no one will shout at Gandhi.
When we got back home we discovered that we had missed Auntie Karen and Ian the musical hat maker who had called in to see us; only I didn’t see them as they had left before me and the dog got back NOT FAIR. Mr Ian is having problems with his knees so once he got up he thought he better leave rather than sit down again. I think Mr Ian probably damaged his knees when he was a rock star leaping off all those high stages into the crowds. I think that’s why Auntie Karen plays jazz on her saxophone because you don’t have to do those things quite as much as jazz players like to be cool, I think jazz players have to be cool or you can’t play jazz.
The ghost writer just wanted to say he was in the grey office today and it scrambled his brain again and what made it all worse is that on his way home in the car Gandhi leap out of the road and stopped all the traffic for half an hour causing chaos and he is not an easy man to convince to move.
I seem to have written rather a lot again I don’t know how that happened.