my first Christmas tip this year is don’t hide chocolate in a Badger set, or jelly babies or cheese.

It has been a very wet day indeed, so it is good to know our new wooden bungalow has not floated away down the fabled Minor Stream of Inconsequence which remained very minor, I think that because we are at the source of the fabled Minor Stream of Inconsequence it is unlikely to turn into a torrent unless the climate changes so much that Captain Nessman of the High Seas old sparring partner, Mr Gore will leap about going SEE SEEE I TOLD YOU Ha AH HAH HAHHA HAHAHAH HAHAH HAHAHAH HAH.

At which Point Captain Nessman will tie him to the anchor of his trusty pirate ship (that’s Captains Nessman pirate ship not Mr Gores) and as Captain Nessman of the High Seas would put it make Al kiss the Algae.

It is now two week until Christmas day and we have started to decorate the house, and one advantage of being where we are is there is loads of holy with berries on and conifer trees so plenty of greenery. One disadvantage of where we are is as dad said earlier where the hell are the Christmas Decorations, Christmas Lights and the rotating steam powered musical whistling Christmas tree with the fairy armadillo on the top that sings Waltzing Matilda like Rolf Harris. I think mum destroyed that when we move house but dad does not know that and mum said she I will be in trouble if dad finds out so not to write about it ……………. AH. Mum has said IDIOT again.

I would normally stash my Christmas presents in the cellar but this year we don’t have a cellar, the dog thought that the Badger set might do as a substitute but I have discovered it is fine for some items but not chocolate. So my first Christmas tip this year is don’t hide chocolate in a Badger set, or jelly babies or cheese.  My second tip would be do not try and get you’re rather nice vintage mature cheddar cheese back from a gang of badgers who have you surrounded in a badger set once they have got you’re cheese in their claws.   

Christmas delights and the domino effect of stuff

Yes it has happened, it was only a matter of time and the fact that things can go faster than light has made not a jot of difference to it, because it happened, well started in the way it usually starts anyway. There have been lights hinting at the moment and even the odd half hearted effort here and there but nothing serious. So we have been able to maintain control and pretend it was not happening, until today.

Today we were confronted with the full force of the true professionally organized and constructed construction and there is was tonight in the dark staring at us in all its glory. And although I thought I might stop and take a picture to show you all, dad and the dog said no keep your head down and dad hit the accelerator, so that we were able to escape almost entirely unharmed.

But we know that tomorrow we may well end up passing it again so in order to avoid injury dad is insisting we wear protection and has issued us all with CIA regulation sun glasses left over from the spies in book one. Now if any one is saying book one what book one, yes I know the publishers have not published it on the grounds that it is rubbish. Really that’s a dam feeble excuse if you ask me, although they didn’t. But despite that you have no excuse for not reading Facebook or the Blog or watching the blockbuster movie (yes OK that Steven Spielberg bloke may have said rubbish as well). OK then in order not to get into a long unnecessary paragraphs worth of text I don’t need I will concede that you may not know about the CIA or the FBI or MI6 and designer glasses ….. PHEW now look I am loosing the plot again.

Just in case any of you are wondering exactly what is happening and some might be despite the global domino effect of the event we are talking of the lighting up of the household Christmas lights by those who mean business and in particular the Churchstoke home of Christmas de-lights, which will lead to the battle of the night with every possible lit up Christmas object being lit up on the front of someone’s home.

Now you want to know exactly what I think of this don’t you so I will be straight and say ……… ITS WELL COOL …….. OK mum the dog and dad have now said IDIOT, I thought they might. Captain Flint the Parrot says that the lights on the house in Churchstoke is a secret treasure map; and why are there never Brazil nuts included in any of the designs, its discrimination against nuts.    

Writing of many things including nothing and the rich and famous celebrities of the mundane

Being just an ordinary everyday eccentric child of cyberspace life ticks along in a slow and often repetitive cycle, and things sort of happen. I am not complaining about that, because life for me is fairly chilled compared to many, I am merely observing. And as I think I have said in the past often the lives of the so called rich and famous celebrities of society are a lot more mundane, and often sadder that they would wish you to know.

Anyway the point I am slowly getting to is I had to do all sorts of things today that I had to do, and the things that I would have liked to do; I was not able to do because of the things that needed doing. Not only that but we were all planning to go and see a film in Montgomery tonight, that was made in Montgomery, but to put in the technical phraseology that dad used to describe the reason we are unable to go we are all totally  ******* knackered.  And although mum told him off for saying he was totally  ******* knackered there is no denying that it is true, we all are.

Now the one thing I remember about that film is that they run past the church and then arrive at the sea. Now I know that is not right and the only way to the sea is via the Island in the lake in the park with a pirate ship, you can’t run up church bank and over the hill to the beach. However this is a distraction from the discussion of things which we have also had in the past and are having again now because as I said right at the very start of tonights diary entry it is what us ordinary folk do. Well that and my rather cunning ability to write loads about nothing, although tonight I am writing about things. Well I was till I mentioned nothing and now I am writing about nothing and not things …………

I better go now because both mum and the dog have said IDIOT and both Heavy Harry the Cat and Sooty the Cat are staring at nothing? in the room next door like its something very scary, although it really is nothing …… I hope ………YICKS

..............I like this I'm sure you can tell ............ .

something as a bit of a change

When Eminent Entomologists or South American Butterflies DON’T THROW STONES IN GLASS CAGES

It was windy and wet today here, I have not heard a news today so not sure how the rest of the UK got on, as it was due to be very windy in the north.  As we have discussed before in the past, it is all the fault of those butterflies, flapping their wings in South America that causes it. And they know too, the cunning little beasts.

It is revenge for all those years when eminent Entomologists or something like that would stick pins in them and put them all in glass cages. There is some old saying that goes don’t throw stones in Glass cages ……… I think? Which goes back to the days when some of the more hardy species of South American butterfly would make attempts at escaping, but it was always futile as they would freeze to death on the moors during the night as they scurried through the undergrowth to avoid the spot lamps, dogs and butterfly nets.  Still the activities of those Entomologists now have the repercussion that the butterflies family generations later randomly cause storms and rain by flapping their wings.

It was late night shopping in Napoleon Beelzebub’s Very Strange Victorian Curiosity Shop tonight as it is Thursday and although very quiet we did get a decent chip butty, so all was not lost (nothing was lost as it happens …..What’s that saying all about?)

Right then that is it for tonight a rather short diary entry I’m afraid as I am planning to go and chill (as in relax by the fire not leap about out in the cold wind)