Poetry for not having enough time

It seems now that summers here

I have so many things to DO

Like feed the birds

Feed the cats

And stick antlers on them both with GLUE

And the grass grows faster

Than any man would like to SEE

So I have to get the lawn mower working

As well as trim several bits of TREE

Plus make a cardboard Trojan horse

Which I said I would do ages AGO

And hunt under rocks and stuff

Looking for newts and frogs

And other amphibians

To paint strange colours

For the local village summer SHOW

And who has not got a tortoise

Stuck on the garage ROOF

Or problems in their attic

From some demonic monster

With a cloven HOOF

Or a dripping TAP

Or aphids taking a little NAP

While sucking SAP

On the rose

Which was a gift from

Your favourite (scary) gran- neeeee

Because as we all know

When she comes to visit

It’s the first thing she wants to see.

And the greenhouse needs water

As the tomatoes start to WILT

And my working model

Of the Grand Union Canal

Is filling up with SILT

And I do need the odd cup of tea

And a bacon butty or maybe TWO

And the leopard has escaped again

From the local ZOO

And if it attacks Grannies rose

She will be in a terrible RAGE

So I will run off now for a bit

To help get it

Back in its

CAGE

A chaps work is never done

Maybe a cup of tea first.

Right that’s THAT

The leopard has been caught

Using my gardening HAT

. . . . . .(yes if you wondering, it tried to attack my head)

And now I must finish my poetry

Because tonight I am off out to see

Friends and to have a Chicken Dhansak

Which they will run off and buy

And then bring back
to me

Hang On what do you mean

 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The poetry is rubbish . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

I don’t think you appreciate

How much I have to do

I still have to paint a

Zombie Gnomes wheelbarrow

Bright blue

I know what you think

But it is quite true

He is a friendly chap

And I have called him

Hugh

OOOOoooo time for another cup of tea…