Monday 23 June 2014

Further Shock News From Brazilian World Cup




After the shock news the other day of Germany’s disqualification for playing an Android, the world of football today has been turned upside down yet again by the news that Germany has won its appeal. It has been decided at the highest level that the rules do not say that players must be human and so Germany have been reinstated.  But shortly after that news was announced at a press conference in Brazil early this morning, further new conferences were called that have rocked the world of international football further.

Shortly after Germany were reinstated America announced that their first true international Soccer star, striker Dell Drone was in fact entirely made of carbon fibre and operated by Nano-technology designed by NASA. This was closely followed by the news that Italy’s Fiato Florentine was a Fashion Mannequin with Ferrari built mechanics.  Then Japan admitted that their entire international woman’s football team are Androids.


Even here in Britain, England has confessed that the last full member of the England Football Supports Club Mr Tim (the Spectrum) Sinclair is in fact a modified Reliant Robin. . . . . Come on Tim. . . .



Later when interviewed at his home Roy of the Rovers, one of the last living members of England’s 1966 squad said. . . . . . . Its disgusting they are all a bunch of big girls Blouses, that Tommy Dorsey would be turning in his grave. . . . . . Call those football boots they are rubbish. . . . . . Here I met that Diana Dors once . . . . . didn’t she marry that Benny Dorm bloke. . . . . . . . .

10 comments:

  1. I am now further disgusted with FIFA. Furthermore, it has come to my attention that FIFA, in fact stands for the Federation of International Football Androids. Upon further consideration I can no longer support the furtherance of the impending Android-ocalypse. DOWN WITH FIFA!

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    1. Its like that old Elvis Song. . . . FIFA Las Vegas

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  2. M-androids and Wom-androids, wh-o would half thought. I had lovingly started a collection of defunct microprocessors in the left next to the bottom drawer of my desk at work but then they missed-teriouly disappeared one year. I think my collection was at least two.

    I am in the middle of fixing a broken AC unit, a high voltage switch half self destructed. HopefuLLy we are back up up and running later today. And by "up up" I mean that there are ladders to climb, which for me is no smaLL feet. Interestingly my first time up on top I noticed that the neighboring building had discarded metal folding chairs, two in pieces, thrown about, strange.

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    1. I used tobe fine on ladders a long time ago, but then when my feet became less than 100% efficient my mind started to hate the thought of Up.

      I do have a pile of old PC's that one day I thought might be really useful. . . . I may be wrong.

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    2. If you applied a touch of welding torch to your pile of PCs you might make a dandy ladder.

      I started mopping veRy early today so I have compensated by taking several loooong breaks. In the process I discovered someone had left an outside door unlatched aLL weekend. WeLL, back to mopping. Like being a chimney sweep eXcept cleaner.

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    3. Folk tend not to try doors that they think are locked as 999 out of every 1000 are indeed locked.

      Do you have chimneys in Texas as in throw another log on the fire. It may seem a silly question but they are less common in Britain than they used to be.

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    4. Yes, we have wood burning stoves and fireplaces. I think people wiLL sometimes also have gas piped to the fixture as a secondary source of energy. But we are not in a heavily wooded area so I think the firewood must come from farther away. You now have me curious, I wiLL stop by a few firewood businesses and ask them about logistics. My older house had a free standing wood furnace in the livingroom but we had tiny children when we moved in there, so my wife wanted it gone for safety. They may get firewood from trees on our creek bottoms. I think there are alot of cottonwood trees on our creeks. We get a lot less than 20 inches of precipitation per year, and ferocious winds at times, so it just makes it hard for trees to grow here usuaLLy, especially when you have a three year drought. But it looks like Ireland around here at the moment, stunningly green and wet for about the last four weeks. I think we just have a favorable jet stream at the moment because this last storm came in from the northwest and most of our moisture & prevailing wind comes from the southwest.

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  3. I knew FIFA was corrupt, but their systematic outsourcing of our precious footballing jobs to androids is just further evidence that Sepp Blatter needs to be fired. IDST.

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    1. SEPP stands for Semi Electronic Preening Person . . . so I think that says it all.

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  4. I have been out all day and missed the football but have been informed that Luis Saurez has sunk his teeth into an opposing player AGAIN, thus proving he has a MEGABYTE! hahahahahahhahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahastopityou'rekillingmehahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaa.........

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