The Christmas Jumper, the News, and the World

I was watching the news on the BBC a bit earlier in order to be up to date with what is happening in the world. I am not entirely convinced that we actually get to know exactly what happens in the world because news is only news if the various media companies decide it is news worthy. This would explain why a bunch of Zombies protesting outside the local college today chanting WHAT DO WE WANT . . . . . . . MORE BRAINS . . . . . . . . . . WHEN DO WE WANT THEM  . . . . . . .NOW while the college principle tries to explain that the colleges slogan of  . . . . . We have some of the Best Brains in the Country does not refer to the student canteen; is in fact not a  news worthy story. Those Media companies can see no legs in it . . . This does not mean there are no legs in brains (AH YES there are no legs in brains), it refers to a story that might run for a bit and keep the punters interested. . . . You see the link legs and run.

Anyway what I was heading towards before you lot distracted me yet again with your thoughts on what I am typing was the fact that on the news there was a story saying that the Christmas Jumper; you know the things, Santa or a Reindeer on a sledge eating elf brains while a Zombie Snowman looks on in horror realizing his dinner has been stolen from under his very nose (a carrot carved to look like the Eiffel tower) with a small child setting fire to a Christmas tree in the background and a hardy fisherman repairing his nets that are being destroyed by a large Sea Serpent called Sven on the back in fluorescent  double knit wool in tweed colours.

Hang on where was I . . . . . . AH Yes  it appears the big Christmas present this year is the Christmas Jumper and it is plainly clear why that is. You see here in the decadent West everybody now has everything, leaving almost nothing for folk to get other folk for Christmas . . . . Well almost nothing, you see the one thing no one actually has is a terrible Christmas Jumper like granny would knit back in the old days, a time when there was still loads of stuff to buy folk for Christmas, before everyone had everything.

 For a short while we use to buy folk a goat in Africa or bees in India or adopt a frog in Brazil but the thing is we cant unwrap them on Christmas day, so the idea never really caught on, as I have already said we are the decadent west and we need our bling (or Christmas Jumper as it is known this year).

All I am worried about is what happens next year YICKS.

Oooo I sprayed a thing green today and wraped a Christmas present (not a jumper) and ate some cheese and in a very short time will be heading off to the Indian Restaurant . . .