Thursday, 24 March 2016

The Lost World of the Japanese Crayfish Jousters

I have noticed that just lately some very nice person or persons in Japan has been reading my ever so humble blog this is very encouraging indeed. I mean if it appeals to the Japanese then I will see this as a positive bit of street cred and must mean that my blog is now some sort of minority cult. All the best cult blogs are read by just a small number of folk, particularly folk in Japan. So for the benefit of my Japanese readers I am repeating an old post for him/her/them . . . . I hope you like it and thanks for reading.    

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Once upon a time back in darkest history when Knights were Knights and villagers would scream and run about in fear of large dragons that breathed fire at all sorts of stuff, and wizards would cast spells turning large grown men into frogs or would turn slugs into small rodents or cats into violin strings. It was quite common for small children when asked what they would like to do when they grew up, to all shout I WANT TO BE A JAPANESE CRAYFISH JOUSTER. Their fearsome reputation and the adulation of the massed crowds who would shower them in small bits of Halibut and gold coins made them the heroic figures of the day. Yes the Japanese Crayfish Jousters were known across the known world of the time and the spectacle of huge crayfish charging at one another across the arena was something to behold as both beast and man were covered in gold and jewels and showed no fear.

Of course such things never last and as time pasted and the fables and legends of the past faded into the lost corners of history when asked what they wanted to be when they grew up, small children would then shout I WANT TO BE A TRAIN DRIVER OR AN ASTRONAUT the dreams of the Japanese Crayfish Jousters lost for ever.

But even those, the simple dreams of small children have changed in just a few years, as the dark shadows of the corporate world and obsession with media penetrated the very soul of mankind. Because if you say to a group of small children now, what do you want to be when you grow up, they will all shout I WANT BE THE WINNER OF A TALENT SHOW ON TELEVISION, PLAY FOR MAN UTD . . . . . ..   AND HAVE BIG BOOBS.  But one day in the future a very nice man called say maybe Steven Spielberg will think Japanese Crayfish Jousters what a great idea for a block buster film and then once again everyone will want to be Japanese Crayfish Jousters like the old days.   . . . We can but hope. 


  1. I am working on a crayfish design for a shirt later, maybe tomorrow. Its a local school's mascot.

    1. You can use mine if you want although I suspect it is not quite what you had in mind.