Monday, 9 November 2015

Poetry for Bad Poets

There is nothing worse that sitting down to write a post for my rather popular (OK that is a slight lie) Blog and then thinking HANG ON what am I going to write about. . . . . . .MMMMMmmmmmm AH DAMN. . . . . . . . Yes some days are harder than others as I'm sure all of you that write blogs will nod knowingly at and agree. So I have decided to Write some (More) instant poetry, I dont know how folk write poetry really, I mean, am I meant to sit for days pondering stuff or at moments of inspiration, stop everything and grab a pen and write it all down knowing that 5 minutes later it will be gone forever. That happens all the time I suspect. Over half of the poems that have wandered through my mind have spilt out of my ear onto the pavement and have vanished. And I bet it is all the good ones too, it is always the good ones that get lost.

So today this is one of my think of a first line and go for it poems (like most of the others really) and with luck in about 10 - 15 minutes or so another classic poem will hit the world of literature like a small grain of sand on a big beach full of sand. 

I have not thought of any poetry today
So I will have to try and amuse folk
In some other way
Like telling how I confused a chicken with a Cannonball
Which I bounced at it along the hall
Or how I skied up a very steep hill
Using jet powered skis
Made with my trusty
Electric Drill
You see I am rather good at making stuff
Although folk laugh and point
Because they say it is
Wonky and incredibly rough
But when I'm wealthy
With my name in Bright Lights
And have a posh dog that
Growls and bites
Folk will not laugh at me then
As Fang the dog eats their Hen
I think it’s the one I threw the cannonball at
The cannonball that accidently
Squashed the cat
Yes OK squashing cats is a
Bad thing to do
But then so is Flushing a tortoise
Down the loo
No, no I didn’t do that
That was Jim
He says Tortoises are
A bit Grim
And Now I appear to have lost the plot
As this poetry has things in it
It should not
So I better go as its getting dark
And it is time to chase Owls about
In the park

And put Slugs in the JELLY
Its OK they are still alive I’m not that nasty

Please Note . . . . .
No animals were hurt in the writing of this Poetry
But I have finished Now SO

HAH HAH HAH HAH HA ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hah ah ha ha ha hah ah ah ha ha ha hah ah a ah ah ha hah ah ah hahha ha hha ha haha hah ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hah ah ah ah ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Time to GO


  1. Aha Mr. Rob
    You certainly aren't a poetry snob
    Instant rhyme
    Aint no crime
    Well done to you
    This be true
    Watching out for a cannonball
    Could make you fall
    Or making a wrecking ball
    Could make you stall
    As you swing in the nude
    Rather crude
    Just like Miley Cyrus
    Without the fuss.

    Gary, Gary, quite contrary....

    1. Well Done Mr G

      Nude not ME
      Only clothes
      and a shapely
      You will SEE

  2. A poetry mistress I am not,
    I cannot write it, not one jot.
    The trouble is the rhyming part,
    I start and things just fall to pieces...

    See what I mean?

    1. Dont worry Miss Lily because Mrs Mill will be looking down from up above waiting to tell you how to keep the rhythm going.

      AH that does not sound right somehow. . . . . DAMN