The terrible tale of the Worlds Deadliest Bird

Back in 1871 when Caruthers Kipling was searching for rare Birds of Paradise in Papua New Guinea for his extensive collection of stuffed Animals, he heard from one of the local tribes of a strange bird that was feared and that they had been forbidden from even looking for, It was said by the tribe to mean certain death and they called it the Ohno bird as this is what folk generally shouted if they saw it.  Caruthers of course was keen to find it and once he started to look found it rather easily. Making note of its location he made notes and decided to have a good nights sleep before capturing the bird the following day.

Sadly the following morning he was found dead having had a heart attack in his sleep. A couple of years later the famous naturalist Sir Flyby Knight read of the bird in Caruthers Kipling’s journal kept in the archives of the Natural History Museum and set off to find the small bird.  Again he found it very easily at the location as described by Caruthers Kipling.  He set up a hide to monitor the birds but a tragic accident with his gas lamp meant he sadly died in a fire within his own hide.

This made the bird rather famous and several expeditions set off to find the small bird but all ended in tragedy when an unforeseen storm hit the area where the small bird lived.  The Ohno Bird then became known in Britain as the Grim Reaper Bird and for a while no one ventured to visit its habitat.

In 1905 an American team visiting Papua New Guinea looking for oil and mineral deposits decided to look for the bird and again found it much easier than they anticipated the small team of mining executives were rather underwhelmed by the plain little bird. We know this because they were speaking on their transmitter when a huge herd of Forest Rhino stampeded through their camp. Apparently spooked by soldier ants. It was said one of the members survived for a couple of days and did give a rather detailed description of the bird.

Over the years several adventurers attempted to capture the bird but alas all ended in terrible accidents or illness. Eventually in 1953 the flamboyant American Billionaire Harry Ramjet Jefferson decided to blow up the entire valley where the small bird lived in order to rid the world of this terrible doomsday beast. He set up an entire series of explosive charges over a range of several miles although he never saw the bird during this process,  his wife Jenny Jefferson later said he was concentrating on setting the charges and never thought about the bird. However when he hit the button to set the charges off nothing happened.  He was then forced to enter the valley, which in the interest of safety; he did alone to check the cables and igniters.  His wife later told the Press his last words were. . . . . Its all sorted Darling I'll be back in a minute . . . . . What  . . . . . Ohno. . . . . There was then a huge explosion and that was that.

It was thought this was the end of the Ohno Bird, but in 1975 three well known naturalists making a wildlife programme for the BBC entered the valley and were never seen again. And in 2002 a Japanese camera crew were somehow strangely all electrocuted by their own equipment in the monsoon rains.

A Russian team in 2013 hunting for the bird with AK47’s, antitank weapons and several crates of Vodka also all tragically died but it is thought this was not related the Ohno Bird as they were in the wrong valley.

Look Folks dont make me write any more that is three days in a row I have had to draw a picture and make stuff up on the spur of the moment.  I just cant keep it up . . . . . . . . No wonder these stories are getting a bit dodgy . . . . I mean PHEW. . . I have many other things to do you know. . . .

OOOoooo look what's that. . . . .. OHNO.