Saturday, 25 April 2015
Professor Venomous Voldemort . . . . The A to Z of Slightly Strange Unknown Victorian Inventors and Explorers
Professor Venomous Voldemort
A strange character with few friends and a way about him that quite frankly scared the heebie jeebies out of even the hardiest of folk. He claimed to have invented the very first intelligent machine, the Voldemort Valuator Device. However there were many who argued that an intelligent machine can not have the brain of a human being in a glass jar attached to electrodes as the source of its intelligence. Professor Venomous Voldemort himself argued that he only used a small part of a human and the rest of his device used Electro-mechanicals and chemistry to operate and was therefore an intelligent machine.
One of Professor Venomous Voldemort’s main problems was that the police kept confiscating the machines brain and after they had confiscated five of them were starting to get suspicious. This led to Professor Voldemort having to use the brain of a cat he found in a box in order to do his first demonstrations in the Royal Observatory.
Which in turn resulted in several unforeseen circumstances?
1 It kept losing at chess very badly, but then cats are not good at chess.
2 The device took one look at the buffet for the invited members of the science world and promptly tried to bury all the food
3 It was prone to sulk and would sit with its back to the eminent scientific audience
4 The Royal Observatory at the time was overrun with mice and when one ran through the great hall the device headed off at speed in pursuit. It was a device not designed for chasing mice and promptly fell over spilling the cats brain onto the floor, reducing the machines ability to think by a substantial margin.
However the world of science did show interest and in particular Professor Frankenstein and Professor Venomous Voldemort collaborated on several projects involving artificial intelligence and cats. None of which ended well . . . . . He was last seen being pursued by a large crowd of villagers with fiery torches heading towards a central European castle.