Saturday, 21 June 2014

Germany disqualified from Brazilian World Cup. . . Android Shock News



In what is said to be one of sports biggest ever shocks, Germany have been disqualified from the 2014 Brazilian World Cup. It appears that one of their leading players, I think his name is Muller Cogs Lightberg or something similar, has turned out to be an Android and not human.  

How ironic when only the other day I was discussing the origins of the term Android and its forgotten inventor Augustus Von Androidus. But it appears that the Great Great Great Great (or something like that) Granddaughter of Augustus Von Androidus still had his original plans and drawings and someone hit upon the idea of recreating one of the Androids to become the heroic leading striker of the German National Football team. 

It does explain the reclusive life style of the player and his constant clicking, grinding and hissing noises on the pitch which many other teams had officially complained about and which the German manager has always said was rather bad wind. And no one would have noticed if he had not pulled his fake latex chest up over his head along with his official team shirt after scoring the winning goal during their first World Cup game.  The Germans at first said he was not an Android but a cyborg (not the IKEA set of draws but the man machine thing) and mostly human; but after tests it has been found he is definitely non human in every respect except image and a strange obsession to kick a ball about for 90 minutes in a game of two halves.


There is talk of a German protest at the disqualification decision on the grounds that nowhere in the rules does it say players need to be human and it has been pointed out that back here in Britain in 1912 Scragend United played a duck in goal for two games.     Although it was done for a bet when the manager was drunk at Ye Olde Pig and Trolley Inn, and the duck let in 132 goals, But the Germans still claim it set a president.


11 comments:

  1. I think the 'Von' in a name means 'from', so it could be that Augustus was actuaLLy of Android hair yet aged. There may be a clue in the triple 'us' occurance in his name. I can not find him in ancestory.com although I did find something in an old Radio Shack supply catalogue.

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    1. I noticed there was ISIS and FIFA in recent news. I wonder if there is a growing trend towards organizations with four letters with at least a pair of letters separated by one letter.

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    2. I noticed a somewhat similarity between the word android and the word ordinary.

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    3. Here is a veRy important question: What is your favorite glue for cardboard?

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    4. Hello Mr ESB. . . .I use two different clues for cardboard for the bigger stuff I use Evo-Stik and for the smaller bits I use UHU as it comes in tubes and is easier to control on fiddly bits.

      I never use water based glues they are too much aggro (aggravation) with card.

      FIFA . . .Federation of Intelligent Football Androids. . . .

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  2. Those damn ingenious yet constantly trying to cheat Germans!

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    1. Indeed, for years they even entered two teams.

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  3. Don't we all know, or at least assume that the majority of Germans are androids? I seem to remember Angela Merkel shooting sparks from her eyes when forced to bail out Greece for the first time.

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    1. Merkal and Mercat are words so similar that I feel it needs investigating closer. I will say being able to shoot sparks from your eyes would be very cool.

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