Wednesday, 28 May 2014

A Short Commercial Break from our Sponsors

We interrupt this Blog to bring you a special message from our sponsors

Professor Franklin F F Frankenzompires 
World famous 
Elixir of Everything.
Available at all leading chemists
Vets and hardware shops

Yes in order to maintain an advert free environment on The Slightly Eccentric Diary of Rob Z Tobor; Rob Z Tobor has been forced to turn to sponsorship, it is either that or adverts of spurious reputation and truth.

Have you ever wondered how to get rig of those grey hairs
Blotchy skin marks
That annoying scratch on the table
Wondered how to stop the cat running up the curtains
Is your car running badly?
Does your mind wander, do you need to focus on that exam next week
Worried you might fail that drugs test in the world cup quarter finals.
Have your shoes lost their shine
Are you getting old and wish to look younger
Want to Lose Weight
Extinguish that Chip pan fire
Is your goldfish looking limp and lifeless?
Do you wish you could roller-skate, climb mountains, and play chess?
Is that stubborn stain on the carpet playing on your mind?
Do you get sea sick, can't sleep or have hay fever
Does that favourite old chair have woodworm.
Want to be the life and soul of the party
Become fabulously rich
Sing like Tom Waits
Swim like a dolphin
Have shiny teeth like a film star
Become a film star
Would you like to be able to turn invisible in restaurants?
Catch frogs with your X rays eyes
Ride a bicycle
Add some extra spiciness to that takeaway curry
Having bother with rats, cockroaches, constipation or embarrassing itches.
Are those drains blocked?
Would you like that lawn mower to start first time?
Have the perfect tan
Stop the Christmas tree losing it needles.
Play guitar like Eddie Van Halen
Polish those old floor boards
Stop those slugs eating your lettuce.

Yes you need Professor Franklin F F Frankenzompires 
World famous Elixir of Everything.
Available at all leading chemists
Vets and hardware shops. . . . NOW

Quote I AM AN IDIOT 2345 at any leader retailer to get two for the price of one.
Limited stocks available
Terms and conditions apply

Professor Franklin F F Frankenzompires 
World famous 
Elixir of Everything.
And everything will seem better


  1. Damn! It's a pity is doesn't get rid of my lady mustache and the wart on the end of my nose. Otherwise, I would have bought a dozen.

    1. But it will rid you of spiders and makes a great pizza topping.

  2. There are people who WANT to sing like Tom Waits? Who needs an elixir for that, all you have to do is smoke five packs a day and drink sandpaper.
    Can it heal my liver?

    1. Yes and Yes I think is the answer. Although you will need to place your liver in a large bowl of the Elixir of Everything in the fridge for 24hrs or one day, (which ever is the longer)

  3. If I drink enough of it do you s'ppose it might make me smarder?

    1. You are the Smardest blogger I know Mr ESB. I believe it works well as a printer enhancer for the tricky shapes and bright colours. . . .

    2. (Ha)12 - ha raised to the twelfth power

  4. Are there any side effects Rob? I don't want my toe nail to grow back only to find out my foot has dropped off! Other than that, stick me down for two of your biggest drums!

    1. No side effects whatsoever. OK your head might have a few and your hands will certainly get large and scaly but your sides will remain in good nick.

  5. Do you know if there are any contraindications if I used it along with my stash of snake oil? I wouldn't want one to cancel out the other. :)
    The View from my World

    1. I suspect they will compliment each other rather well. I would highly recommend giving it a go. . . . Someone has to be brave enough to be the first