Tuesday, 24 December 2013

The shock of Santa and the Elf and Plagiarism

Here we are on Christmas Eve
When Santa he rolls up his sleeve
And checks the sleigh
The reindeer too
So many things he has to do
And if he’s hungry he eats an Elf
And checks the presents on the shelf
And gets his coat out
And cleans his boots
And . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Hang on a bit . . . EATS an ELF

 What is going on here then no one told me Santa eats Elves that’s not nice. All that Ho Ho Ho smiling and being friendly and underneath the Mr Nice Guy exterior is an Elf Eater…. Well if that’s the case it is time to do something about it.

No wonder Santa keeps singing that jingle  . . . . . .An Elf a Day helps your Work, Rest and Sleigh . . . . and complaining about plagiarism   

So to save the Elves . . . . . Christmas is now officially BANNED ... Sorry everyone but it’s the only way.



  1. I don't know who put this man in charge. There he is, sitting on top of the world, encouraging slave labour and deciding who is allowed to receive gifts at the end of a long year.
    THIS IS NOT DEMOCRACY! The man is a megalomaniac who laughs in the face of physics by travelling all over the world in one single night.

    1. The thing is Mr H, have you noticed I never have any pictures of me and I am always busy about this time of year. And I often talk of peace and goodwill and time travel and stuff. Of course it would be wrong just to come clean and say who I am, but then that would spoil it for everyone if they thought Father Christmas was some mad dishevelled bloke in the English Welsh Borders who cant spell and writes rubbish poems and stuff and does not drink. OK I might have the odd drink on Christmas Eve left out near the odd Christmas tree with a carrot. (folk really need to know reindeer do not eat carrots).

      And I dont go Ho Ho Ho either I am more a HAH HAH HHAH H HHAH HAH H HHa ha ha ha ha ha sort of chap, but I keep getting told it scares all the little children. Really small child these days are not what they were back a few thousand years ago when they would be out chasing bears and stick insects through the woods. . . . . .WHAT . . .sorry well distracted.

      Anyway Mr H I must away I have a sleigh to catch and stuff to do before morning so be good and no peeking out the window.

      Merry Christmas Mr and Mrs H and I wish you both the very best . . . .Ho Ho Ho

      ah DAMN I mean HA HAHH HAH HAH AH HA HAH HAH AH Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

    2. Ooooo I might have something Elfy to eat before I go out . . . . .

      HAH HA HHAH HAH AH HAH ha hah ha hah ha h hhah ah hah ha hahha ha ha ho ho ho

  2. You know I have just remember that I have forgotten to draw a picture of a Wrestling Match involving a Bear a Transformer and Two Mr Putins . . . . . Sorry I will try and do it next year Mr A . . . . I need a new brain . . .

    1. Hello Rob, apparently you are in fact me and I am now responding to me . . . . . .DAMN.

  3. So if he is an elf killer eater, then would it be 'Work, Roast and Slay'?

    We have made it through part way
    of our journey and eaten weLL,
    chicken more than elf, I think anyway.

    1. It is the grand family gathering today and the table is set, slightly less folk than last year due to various things.

      Work Roast and Slay is rather good . . . . .

      I hope from part way to all way goes OK . . .

      Tally Ho and off into the great blue yonder...
      Eat, Drink and Be.

    2. I like your "Eat, Drink and Be." - I need to put that on a shirt.

    3. I have been trying old shirt on today and either they are shrinking or my arms are growing longer..

    4. I don't know which I dislike more, shrinking clothes or disobedient komodo dragons. But currently my wife is bothering me trying to diagnose me when I am feeling remarkably fine and she has a severed headache. Perhaps it isn't reaLLy severed but just feels that way.