The rambling diary of an ordinary slightly quirky dodgy artist in the rolling hills of the English Welsh borders, telling the tale of the life of the common man in an uncommon way and also explaining many things about science and the world. Zombies, Monsters and strange mechanical things included by request. Plus some bad Poetry
Saturday, 21 July 2012
Olympic mascots, Triffid seed and the Lemmings of Petrograd
Myself and the dog felt it was time to
explore the great outdoors today, grab the machete and battle along the route
of The Fabled Minor Stream on Inconsequence. It has been some time since we
explored the woodland next to it, which leads to the great wood. The Banshees
were in good form and said they tried to go to see Esmeralda in hospital but
had to leave when all the nurses started to scream and wave their arms about.
It is a bit of a puzzle all the arm waving when people scream, obviously
Esmeralda did not wave anything about for what are fairy obvious reasons, but
dad has assured her she will be just like that six million dollar man although
she will be a six million dollar woman, OK steam engine sort off and maybe more
twenty quid rather than six million dollars. And she will get six legs…
Look I am distracted again
which is not right, me and the dog were looking for strange monsters and
creatures unknown to man, we spent ages doing this but having only met the
Banshees and The Dark Creature of the Undergrowth who remains dark and in the
undergrowth. And of course the Lemmings of Petrograd who are planning to hold
an alternative sporting event because apparently a Mr Lord Coe banned them for shouting
“Coe, Coe….. Coe Chi Minh” and “What do we want more Steroids when do we want
them NOW” then falling about in Hysterics. It would not have been so bad if the
Lemmings of Petrograd had not chose to do this as the Olympic flame officially
arrived in Britain.
It apparently took a lot of effort and bribery to keep it out of the press…..
Yes, Yes, Yes sorry off on
a tangent again, all I am saying is that we met nothing new in the wood so we
came home defeated, but at home sat on the UPVC double glazing was a strange
little creature. We looked in up in our Boys Own Guide to Strange Creatures and
could not find it so we have named it ourselves Sunflourious Seedioza Leggious
because as far as we can see it appears to be a sunflower seed with legs. The
dog says this is the missing link between plants and animals, and possible
prove that the Triffid is not just a legend of the past. He was keen to keep
the baby Triffid and see if it grows into a huge man eating plant, but mum said
NO not after the last time when he brought the baby Loch Ness Monster home and
it ate everything in the fridge…. So somewhere outside is a tiny tiny Triffid
that will one day grow up to look like an Olympic Mascot, which would be
What ever happened to Wenlock
and Mandeville, the Olympic mascots, they were rubbish. I think they must have
been buried under the main stadium, no one even mentions them now.
An Oscar from Miss Lily the Award magnet I don't know how she does it .