Thursday, 26 January 2012

the strange Alien mushroom creatures from Venus and a Labrador driving a car

A flurry of snow today and I noticed on the way home on the school bus that the hills are rather white, good for us young bouncy people but mum, dad and the ghost writer all said BAH HUMBUG. They were complaining that it is not meant to snow in the middle of January, right in the middle of the British Winter, after all their generation have spenty ears??? Sorry spent years working on global warming. And they think after fifty years of leaving lights on and running all the hot water and driving huge fuel guzzling cars it seems a bit unfair that they still have to endure snow.

Me and the dog like snow but today’s was rubbish (I blame global warming myself). Anyway when I got home from school a very nice man was looking at our roof and said that if we spend loads of dosh (that’s money to those of you outside the UK), he would cover our roof in solar panels. His main problem was he needed dad’s signature on some form, but as I told him forging dads signature is dead easy, I even proved in by signing the piece of paper he gave me so he could see how good I am. He said I’m a natural forger and was so impressed he got me to do two more and then he did a runner when he saw mum. So I told mum and she said IDIOT, I think she meant him for running away but I’m not sure.

I know it might sound a bit odd but I an sure I saw a Labrador driving a car today, I am not good a dog breeds and the dog said Labradors are rubbish at driving although they are better than  Pekingese who have problems reaching the pedals (hang on I told you that once didn’t I about Pekingese so you know that).

I have also noticed that the box with the strange Alien mushroom creatures from Venus appears to have something that is starting to look a bit like a strange alien creature from Venus in it although not really very mushroom like yet.

Finally we are off to Big Bill Greasy Fur Ball CafĂ© for a dam good meal tonight, and to be decadent by eating loads and to wave our arms about in grand gestures looking important. Maybe I won’t wave my arms about much I have a habit of knocking things over when I do that. As the chemistry teacher will testify, but how was I to know the stuff would eat its way through the floor into the office below. Which as it turned out was the headmasters. And once he gets use to not having hair I am sure he will be fine again, sort off.  


  1. The headmaster should thank you for the money he saves on barbershop visits minus any initial medical eXpenses for the chemical balding process. You may (or not) have found a career.

  2. No new career as I must write because I can (well sort of) and it is all total rubbish but like all mountains we must get to the top and stab the beast with our pole with a flag on it. Even the Americans did that on the moon, all that way to stab it with a pole with a flag on it. And the Russians under the North pole another pole with another flag on it. So that is what I'm doing only I am spending much less money than the Americans and the Russians.... So who is mad now HAH HAHAHH HAHHAHH HAHHAHAH HAHH HAH HHAHAH HHAH HAH H HHAH HAH HHAH HAH HAAHH HAHHHAH ...................AH?