Monday, 9 January 2012

The famous Millenium Bug. The distance to the Moon and Space Goats

The Ghost Writer arrived tonight and said  he has been in the grey office and has come to the conclusion that the famous Millenium Bug that was going to destroy all the PC’s in the world in the year 2000 has turned up twelve years late and has picked on him in person, to irritate. His plans for the day thwarted by PC’s saying I’m not playing now Naa Naa Na Naaa Na and other such things.

He was explaining that the PC’s often shout I’m not playing now Naa Naa Na Naaa Na and this is where the term Nano technology originated from. In the older PC’s it was common for them just to stop and giggle at you as you got more and more frustrated, thus the term Giga byte or as it was Gig a bit short for Giggle a Bit. Prior to that the Ghost Writer said everyone just threw the computers out the window and so the term Kilo Byte or Kill a bit started because once thrown out of the window they were dead (the PC’s). Mum has said the Ghost Writer is an IDIOT.

At school we were trying geometry again, as last time we tried it was too windy, what with all the storms. So as an experiment the class decided to use triangulation to estimate the distance between the earth and the moon.  As we only have the width of the classroom to do this the teacher said he would allow a small margin of error and so we were allowed plus or minus twelve inches, remembering that the class was on the first floor. Well we were a little surprised to work out that the moon was only two hundred and thirty eight feet above the earth, it appears at certain times of year the moon is much closer to the earth than it is during the rest of the year.  The teacher said we were sort of right but also very wrong and we need to check our sums and our decimal points so we did, and he was right because once we corrected our sums it was two hundred and thirty nine miles. The teacher seemed to get into a sulk after that and keep shouting O YES THE MOON IS ONLY two hundred and thirty nine feet away O yes everybody duck. This was encouraging news so when we explained to the metalwork teacher that the moon was much closer to earth than we though he said we could make a space rocket. And was a little surprised by all the fuss the Americans and Russians made about getting there.

Anyway at the end of the school day as the moon got into the ideal launch position, we fired the rocket, manned by the schools lucky mascot, the Goat. But we had failed to take into account the compete lack of any sense of direction goats have (A bit Like Auntie Karen really) so the goat missed the moon completely. It appears that the goat landed in the fresh vegetable department of the out of town supermarket and the Goat has raised the Union Jack and claimed all the green veg for Britain saying one small step for man one giant meal for goats. Well Mankind doesn’t really eat vegetables much anyway. 

Not many people know this is the favourite song of Space Goats 


  1. I think there are far too many decimal points these days just hanging around, pretending to be full stops . . .

  2. A point well made Mr H. They do say that one in every 10, 000 full stops is in fact a micro dot left over from the days of the cold war, which thanks to global warming is now officially over. Of course unofficially things continue like the old days, lets face it what kind of job can an old spy do once he goes and signs on down the unemployment office or what ever they call it these days...

    (The Executive Reassignment Queueing Facility) or something similar