Wednesday, 31 August 2011

The Story of the Vivian Girls, Tales Of Insanity and the chewy violent dictator

With a new art exhibition starting at Napoleon Beelzebub’s Very Strange Victorian Curiosity Shop, mum has been very busy sorting stuff out so me the dog and Mercedes have been having a wonder through bits of the shop we have never been in before. We found the Aquarium today so now I know where dad got his Coelacanths from. We also saw a huge Mekong Giant Catfish which the dog reckoned would make brilliant fish and chips.

From there we found our way into the library where we found a girl called Miss Jasmine she said she had been in the library for 12 years reading the book Tales Of Insanity. Apparently according to Mercedes you must never read Tales Of Insanity because it will drive you insane and you will sit and read it for ever. It was written by a mad librarian who was driven mad by the long endless days of silence in the library with no customers so he wrote the book so that who ever read it would remain in the library for ever. It has long been banned from Libraries because although effective there is little to eat in a library and the public were eating all the books to survive and singing a well know Eagles song (the band not the bird)

of course if you are going to do this right it is important to choose the next up option at the end  

Mercedes has borrowed the only leather bound copy in the world of the book “The Story of the Vivian Girls” to read on the journey back to the Great Metropolis, as she said the jams on the M25 can be rather bad and it can take ages so she needs a good yarn to pass the time.
Napoleon Beelzebub had to tell the dog off for trying to run off with dinosaur bones again and in the end gave him the leg of someone who had rather a lot of loyalty points for the bottom floor of the cellar (the hot bit). Mum was not happy and told the dog he was not allowed to take the leg home as it was still attached to the rest of the person, who was complaining very loudly. Both Napoleon and the dog did explain it was their own fault and they were warned that greed and power as a dictator running a middle eastern country came at a cost. Although I suspect they hadn’t planned on becoming the dog’s chewy toy when the dog was bored or hungry YUK. I must remember never to become a violent corrupt dictator or leader. Mum said IDIOT but she was referring to the dictator as he was throwing sticks to try and distract the dog.
Tonights sort of Oooo by the way is the Ghost Writer got another pressie; a big pile of Spicy Cheese Scones from Miss Elly, well cool I have nicked one......

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