Monday, 8 August 2011

Steampunk and the fickle flame of fame followed by a yellow Hummer

Myself, Mercedes and Jim or as he likes to be known now Alligator Jim all went off to the woods so Jim can decide what he wants to film; and chat with a few of the animals that he knew before he went to the USA. Jim suggested that we all dress appropriately so Mercedes because she is now a punk, dressed as a punk and I dressed as a steampunk because it is sort of a steampunk diary (A bit) and it also looks cool.

Jim arrived in pink red and yellow Bermuda shorts and a green and red floral shirt with big roses on and blue Gecko’s and Alligator Jim embossed in gold on the back. Apparently it is his Hollywood safari outfit and very popular on his wildlife show on Channel Five during primetime viewing. The dog and Rusty the Robot Dog both fell about laughing and Captain Flint the Parrot said ******** ******** what the ****** is Jim wearing ********* hell. Mum put a cover over its cage and Jim complained that the parrot had ruined the sound recording already and he would have to start again.

Mercedes was a bit disappointed because she thought Jim was a bit cool before he went off to Hollywood but the dog said fame is a fickle flame and can sometimes burn the very thing it lights up. The Ghost writer said he will take his chances but mum has told him he is an IDIOT. The dog ran away at that point to find out if his quote was original and copywrite it.

In the woods Jim wanted to see the Banshee’s and The Dark Creature of the Undergrowth but we were unable to find them which is unusual and when Jim found his old friend the Dodo’s they screamed bit his hand and ran away. It was a shock for Jim it is the first time anything has bitten him, I was able to track down the Dodo’s and it appears Jims outfit has scared everything away that and a film crew in a big Yellow American Hummer following us through the woods and the helicopter swooping low over us to take close up action shots.

I have told Jim British woods are not like Hollywood woods and it is best to wear khaki and use a film man on foot creeping through the brambles. So we returned home, well to Mr Jenkins House although Mr Jenkins says the Hummer has ruined his drive and lawn and Fluffy the cat is missing. Mercedes and I think Jim has lost his knack with animals although his hamsters are to appear in his next series doing ice-skating acrobatics, as they have always wanted to go to Hollywood and were a bit unset themselves when left back in the UK with the late departed (eaten) Mr and Mr Fairbanks.

Mum thinks my diary is getting completely stupid in a desperate attempt to end it in a few weeks time in suspense so that you will all rush out to buy volume two and is muttering things in the background. I definitely heard the word IDIOTS.   

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