Sunday, 27 March 2011

The wood mouse and the Cencus

Me, Mum and Dad, Pirate Pete and Pythagoras the Dog and even Flipper the Wood Mouse spent the day in Napoleon Beelzebub’s Very Strange Victorian Curiosity Shop, we were all a bit jet lagged after having to suddenly move an hour in just a few seconds so we all went to potter about and look for interesting things. Heavy Harry the Cat had curled up in a cosy corner and was snoring when we left home so didn’t come.

When we got there we all went off to look at different things dad was going down to the cellar on the 15th floor to look at strange Victorian machines made of cast iron and puffing steam everywhere, I think it is why dads spends so much time looking at them he says most shops don’t have all the machines working in them although it does make it hot and steamy. Me and the dog went to look at voodoo dolls, there are some very scary ones. Then we went to look at the Department of Imaginary Creatures from Ancient history, there was a Dark Creature of the Undergrowth there so we had to tell Mr Beelzebub that there is one in the wood so it should not be in the Department of Imaginary Creatures, but he said that if it did not exist then he would not be able to have one in the Department of Imaginary Creatures so that was OK. I think me and the dog were a bit confused. Pirate Pete took his pet Flipper the Wood Mouse to look at cheese and mum chatted to Nelson Beelzebub about stuff.

It is National Census day in the UK today and everywhere has to fill in a form to say who is staying there so that the Government know where everyone is today. I did ask what happens if you are somewhere else tomorrow but that doesn’t matter apparently, it sounds silly to me. Anyway mum has filled it in now.

The dog is well upset because he, Captain Flint the Parrot, Flipper the Wood Mouse said they should be on it but the government apparently doesn’t care about them, the dog plans to write to his MP and complain but no one has ever seen him so dad thinks his a mirage like in the desert with water and palm trees. They do the census every ten years and very time the dog apparently writes and complains; the dog said they have now left him off the last twenty five censuses although dad did point out he was in the South American rain forest for the first twenty two. Flipper the Wood Mouse said it was worse for him because it will be ten years before the next one and he is nearly two years old already and will be the equivalent of two hundred and eighty six in human years, and well dead. That made Pirate Pete cry so mum gave him a cup of tea with rum in but still said IDIOT. 

The English teacher quite likes to throw chalk at people who spell words wrong so I have started to collect mine (chalk not words) and am building a half scale model of the Taj Mahal. It is coming along quite well although I have asked if they could stop throwing coloured chalk and stick to white

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