Thursday, 31 March 2011

Pirate Pete and the Octopus. Science, Strong coffee and gangs of little old ladies.

At school today I was just sitting minding my own business in the geography class when Pirate Pete ran in and started to throw octopus at the teacher. I had told him not to do that last night but he has decided it might be fun. The teachers did try to catch him but of course he has steam powered bionic legs and can run at 50 miles an hour.

 He had Flipper his pet Wood Mouse with him who kept sticking his tongue out at the headmaster and I had to pretend I didn’t know who they were even though every time he ran past he would shout HELLO ROB and Flipper would squeak HELLO ROB…….. EEK. I think the headmaster was a bit suspicious but he had to concentrate on not being attacked by hungry Octopus. One very interesting fact about Octopus is they are very intelligent creatures and after an hour or so all the Octopus ended up in the science block doing experiments with the science teachers and eating salami sandwiches and drinking strong coffee. The science teachers said they preferred teaching Octopus and they asked if the could ban children instead because they said they are rubbish at science and don’t have enough arms to do some of the experiments correctly.

Pirate Pete passed me one more time and shouted SEE YOU TONIGHT ROB and all my class and the headmaster looked at me but I said he must think I’m someone else called ROB who is really friendly with mad pirates and talking animals, but I don’t think they believed me. The headmaster said he was going to come round tonight and talk to my parents but I did say that if I did know Pirate Pete (not that I know what his name is) then he would be at my house tonight with the dog and other scary creatures and even possibly banshee’s as they pop round on Thursday nights to play dominos with mum and might be a bit upset by headmasters looking for pirates. Anyway in the end the headmaster said he might just go home and pretend it was another quiet day at school and sometimes its best not to try and attack the 30ft man eating monster with an egg whisk and a sponge.

Back at home later Pirate Pete said he only came to make the day more interesting because the poor old ghost writer was running about all morning like a loony then had to go off to the hospital and then had to go shopping in the supermarket on pensioner day. Pensioners always appear all quiet and non scary but once you get gangs of little old ladies roaming round the supermarket shopping on pensioner day they can be awesome even the dog will run. Silly ghost writer he must be desperate if he was in there with that lot.

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