Monday, 30 May 2016

The terrible curse of the selfie

Yesterday or maybe it was the day before I did something terrible, I took a selfie. One of those things that folk do so much that some cunningly clever chap invented a stick so you could take selfies from slightly further away. Now you might be thinking WHY (no not the stick but me taking one of me) and I don’t blame you, but there is a reason. You see what with drawing more pictures and then admittedly tweaking them a bit with some rather basic and very old software, plus writing a bit of dodgy poetry I thought I need a suitable image.  Until recently I have avoided using images of myself as much as possible in cyberspace, but if I plan to be some sort of mad dishevelled cult artist poet, then image is important. So I dug out my Tesco prescription sunglasses pointed my little digital camera at myself and attempted to smile then pressed the button and hey-presto . . . .terrible. Yes no matter how much I try to look slightly cool and moderately chirpy I always end up looking dead grumpy, OK I am grumpy most of the time but not all of it.

Now one of the key things that has brought this to the fore is that my old pal Mr Charlie said I needed a manager so that rather than just drawing stuff and sticking it into the voids of cyberspace to be lost forever, My manager could manage me. Actually I am probably not an ideal candidate for a manager because I am grumpy and a bit maverick (as has been proved by photographic evidence).  So I said to Charlie OK then Charlie you can manage me, and then he went off and told folk I was drawing again and that he was going to organise me and attempt to get me to create enough work for an exhibition. HAHAHAHha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haha haha ha hahah a ha ha I thought; I am far to maverick to be organised into something that organised these days, surely such a thing is impossible. I suspect I am right but in order to help my new manager I have promised to create some hanging on the wall art so it can be hung on a wall and folk can look and say. . . . . . . . O my god that’s terrible, that is the worst art I have ever seen. . . .

I did say too Mr Charlie in a slightly enthusiastic way. . . I could add some of my poetry to the artwork. . . . But he looked panicked and said he thought that was a bad idea . . . that means I almost certainly will.

Now I don’t know if this will happen and if it does when, but if it does I will let you all know. What I will say is it will not be in a leading London gallery, for one thing London scares me to bits, it is full of folk running about and huge as in really huge.

In the meantime here is my selfie. . . . . . . . . . .



  1. Looking Rob.
    I too am not one for selfies. Mainly because I don't look like I think I do... which is odd and rather strange.
    I do have one photo I took years before selfies were a thing where I have mad hair and my dark shades on.
    I took after falling in from the pub one night and still had my winter coat on.
    I look like a hitman from the future!
    I may dig out and pop it on line for everyone to laugh at.

    If you do end up doing an exibition (of your work) I would buy a few of your pieces.

    I love your art work. It's unique and far superior to anything I could ever do.
    Well... I'm off to bed as it is past my bed time and the news is full of awful things.

    1. Mr H if I ever get my act together (a big if) I will give you a piece of my art work for free. However I am not very organised even on a good day and as I get older it gets worse.

  2. Speaking of Grumpy, I asked my wife if she had heard about the latest automotive repair place to open in our town, and she said no. I told her that it was on the east end of Third just west of the HVAC place, and its called Grumpy's Exhaust. The old building even has a fresh coat of exterior white paint.

    1. Grumpy Exhausts sounds good, I am grumpy and exhausted and could probably do with a fresh coat of exterior white paint myself.

    2. I think here in Britain the same thing is called the silencer. . . its a bit like Hood and bonnet. all these tiny discrepancies are there to confuse the British-USA relationship. A bit like Donald Trump, us Brits are a bit confused

  3. I do believe I detect a bit of disguised excitement for your upcoming exhibition.

    1. Thats if I manage to get my act together, it is a lot of work and no one likes work. . . . . well I try to avoid it when I can.