Monday, 9 May 2016

Poetry for the Great Mechanical Automata Head

The great mechanical automata head
A scholarly scholar and many words it has read
And as a party piece will recite while eating bread
The complete works of Shakespeare backwards in Japanese
A task that would fill most with despair and dread

And it has a Cuckoo clock in the side of its head
Which wakes it up when it sleeping in its cosy bed
And if you pass the eye of needle through a Camel called Fred  
Something the great mechanical automata head can do with ease
You will find in the morning that Fred the Camel is dead

So leap about and jump with joy
Because the great mechanical automata head
Is coming to get you, yes coming to get you is what I said
And it is programmed to humour, confuse and then destroy
You see it was made by a man long ago in old Japan
Who did not like Shakespeare or cheap marzipan?

And if you hear
The great mechanical automata head whispering
Eye of newt and leg of fox
It is best to quickly
Stick in back in its box
As it does come with a two year limited guarantee
Batteries not included
No cash refunds given.

Some deviations from the original words of Shakespeare may occur
But before use . . . Be Warned
The instruction manual you will need to refer



  1. I coul dn't tell if that was po etry or if it was a pre diction of the (gasp) Trump reign of terroresque-ism.

    Things are unfounding here peacefully this fine Tuesday morning eXcept that I noticed the wind had blown the top from the rain water collection system. This occurs more easily if I forget to put an old basketball on top of the lid to try to keep it in place. Perhaps that is a universal for at least half the problems in the world: a well positioned old basketball. This would mean that riches await the feller who can commercially scale up a factory to age accelerate basketballs, until the Chinese invent the faux old basketball. Accept NO substitutes! Use only real really old BBalls!!!!!

    1. Oh, oops, that should have been 'things are unfolding'

    2. I can somewhat judge the strength of the wind by how far away from the water system the lid has moved. But there is a maximum limit due to the presence of fences.

    3. is a Basketball the ideal shape to stop things blowing away? I would have gone for something a bit more square. . . . A square basketball. Now that might make a chap rich.

      The prevailing wind here is from the West so our hedge on that side of the house is kept high and thick. We have a Yukka plant in a pot which will blow over if it is very windy.

    4. We have yucca plants in the pasture lands that surround us. They are quite plentiful. Sometimes people will grow huge ones in their yards with lots of water and fertilizer. There was once a yucca about 10-12 feet tall, and rather massive that was about 3 blocks west of our house. Back when I was doing photography with film I had a large format camera of 4x5 size with bellows, and I photographed that yucca in color. I think that camera was made in Los Angeles around 1950.

      I just use a basketball simply because it is there - the dogs have a wide variety of toys in the backyard, and I have the rain collection device near the backdoor so it is easier to water My Jungle.

    5. Yucca can grow quite large in Britain by mainly by the coast as they can get attacked by frost in Winter.

  2. Would Shakespeare be less confusing backwards and in Japanese? I wonder. These days I can almost hear the gears cranking about in my brain. Needs oil, or maybe caffeine.

    1. I think the answer is yes although I can see the Japanese attempting this one day, just so the can say they have recited Shakespeare in Japanese backwards.

      My brain still works but the brains container is getting rusty.

  3. Ooh, I'm a bit late. Been moving large pieces of furniture around the house. Not for any particular reason, just for fun.

    My fav line, 'And if you pass the eye of needle through a Camel called Fred.' Poor Fred is dead. I wonder if it's because he liked Shakespeare and cheap marzipan?

    1. Thanks as always Miss lily Ooooooo I have always been amused by the camel and needle story. I think God might look at me knowingly in the end an say I have a camel I want you to meet he is rather good at sewing. . . . I will feel a bit of a knit then

      HAH HAHAHAH hahah a ha hah a ha ha ha hah a haha haha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haha

      I threw out a whole of stuff today I like stuff too