Thursday, 19 January 2012

President Putin and the Spy Rock incident, or Rock Spies and the Micro Forensic Geologist

Listening to the news this morning on the wireless I noticed that the British government has admitted to the Spy Rock incident of a few years ago and putting two and two together I realized on my way to school that Spy Rocks are all over the place, even in our own garden. So when I got to school I went to see the Micro Forensic Geologist, Mr Norman a sad and bitter man because no one takes the Micro Forensic Geology exam option these days.

He has long complained that students all do Media Studies now because when they leave university they know they are guaranteed a job serving the customers in Starbuck’s and as Mr Norman himself says in a slightly mad scientist way Geology does not rock any more HA HAH HAH HAHAHHHAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAHAHAH HAHAH HA. Mr Norman had heard the story of the Spy Rocks and said that he had indeed come across them while doing research in a park in Moscow. He was particularly angry because it was made of plastic and he says his job is difficult enough without fake plastic rocks being left all over the place by MI6. 

Anyway he confirmed my suspicion telling me that you can tell a spy rock as it will have small solar panels on the top to provide power and some even have a small light in to help observe who ever is under observation by the secret services. These bugging devices are openly sold in garden centres as Rock Lights for pools and Patios and are particularly popular amongst diplomats, the foreign office, Prime ministers and government leaders. President Putin is said to have given the Queen several to light up the throne in Westminster Abbey. Even NASA found them a very economic option to light up both the launch of the Space Shuttle and the runway at landing. We even have one in our garden which was here, sat in a quiet corner of mums office next to her secret short wave radio that I am not allowed to mention…………… AH, Mum has said IDIOT again now   

The dog by the way is making a Rock Spy; it is a life size granite Elvis but the eyes are small cameras and his ears are electronic listening devices or as the dog calls them ears. Personally I don’t like it because the eyes follow you round the room, No they really do follow you round the room.

Oooo by the way I remembered to take a picture of the bird table I made; the first thing on it was Sooty the Cat (typical). He was after the kippers (Smoked Herring to those of you not in the UK) as you can see the kippers worked and I managed to attract a Gannet. Or maybe its a Wood be Gannet as we are some way from the sea.



  1. As soon as I saw your words Wood be Gannet the scene in my brain was the piece of art American Gothic by Gannet Wood, then I realized my error, its really Grant Wood. Do you s'pposed this was caused by severe malnutrition or possibly a bicycle accident from several decades ago, or even a previous life, where I wasnunt wearing a helmet wearing a helmet?

  2. If Grant Wood had called himself Gannet Wood then they might have smiled a bit more in the picture American Gothic. And fear not about this error I do it all the time. It is this sort of error that formed the diary into what it is today, complete rubbish

  3. In the immortal words of comedian Steven Wright of Boston MA, "Thanks" - oh, sorry, that should have been word, not words.