Monday, 30 January 2012

The broken coil spring and the art of nodding and shaking heads in an important way

Dad’s car needed two new tyres today so off he went to get them replaced. Only his journey was not without its troubles because his car was making rather strange noises when he tried to turn round on the drive to head off. At first he thought me and the dog had been doing car mechanic homework again, but we had not, and although there have been loads of pheasants about that might have got trapped in the steering it was not mangled pheasants.

And anyway the pheasant population is a bit low after the battle of the Alamo against the overwhelming forces of shot guns and 4X4’s.

Dad managed to get to what turned out to be a very nice man at Kwik Fit who looked at dad’s car and shook his head in a knowing way, tutting at the appropriate moment for best effect. Kwik Fit mechanics are training in head shaking and tutting because it is extremely important to do it at the right time, a bit like stand up comedians where timing is critical.

It turned out that one of the front coil springs had failed and broken which is apparently more common that people realize. Something to do with mechanics scurrying about at night with hacksaw blades and torches. So dad now has new Italian tyres on the front of his car and has to go back to have a new coil spring fitted later in the week. He did say they were a nice bunch of mechanics at Kwik Fit and extremely good at nodding and shaking heads and looking concerned. They even put little fancy chrome things on his wheels free of charge, telling dad that head office are telling then to shift them as they have loads and want to get rid of them all. Nodding and tutting at the same time in order to give the comment substance (which it did …… sort off).   

Maybe I should nod and shake my head more at school, particularly during the car mechanics lesson and I might try tutting at the headmaster during morning assembly that should impress him, he will not be expecting that. Mum said IDIOT ……. Not sure why???? The dog thinks it a great idea.

So what happened to me today well not a lot although I did see a small gang of teachers pointing and shaking their heads during the lunch brake when I was eating my curry, mash potato and sausage sandwich made with a French loaf, OK it was a bit long at three feet for my school bag and the curry did rather obscure the results of my mathematical theory of isolated systems in relativistic plasma physics. But I can only assume the teachers have been to Kwik Fit. I must tell the Kwik Fit mechanic he can’t spell.



  1. I would suggest that you eXchange your automatic transmission for an automagic one. If I misunderstood and the automobile has a manual transmission, then replace the manual tranny with an automatic one which can then be swapped out for an automagic transmission. If you have neither of these already and use a dragon to push your automobile, then there is no need to replace the dragon with an automagic transmission, because the secret to an automagic transmission is that it has a tiny dragon embedded in the transmission that shifts for you, able to read your thoughts from typically the same distance that a USB cable can reliably function.

  2. I just say, buy a new car. But meh, what do I know?

    1. Hi Miss Lily. As soon as that silly lottery machine picks the right numbers out we will buy a new car. Until then we are on the Basil Faulty method and hitting it with a stick. (the car not the lottery machine although maybe that would help)

      The car if off to the very nice man at Kwik Fit tomorrow for a new spring, I am hoping God might send a new spring soon too as it is rather cold.

      Hope all is well. be good