Tuesday, 22 November 2011
The Thesis on the Nature of Urban Society and why termites will eat Granny in the IKEA car park
Although today is/was Tuesday and I should have been at school I was allowed to go to IKEA. There were two reasons for this; the first was, as I explained to the headmaster a great opportunity to observe shoppers as part of my Thesis on the Nature of Urban Society, showing how the life of Social Insects can be reflected in the design and construction of large urban developments, in this case IKEA.
The second reason of course is mum is very scary, so the headmaster was happy to agree bearing in mind the dog, dad and the flame thrower were in the car staring at him through the window of his office.
The reason for the trip to IKEA was to obtain bookshelves for all our stuff including a large number of books, plus a variety of other items such as lights. IKEA have a cunning plan that involves selling little trinkets round the shop so everyone goes Ooooooooo look its only two pounds and OOoooooo I might get one of them, so by the time you arrive at the checkout with three trolley loads of stuff you hadn’t planned on buying you are forced back in to buy even more shelves. This is the nature of consumerism and the even expanding tentacles of capitalism. Which brings me back to my thesis on the nature of urban society and the relationship with the insect societies such as Ants, Termites, Bees, etc. Just walk round IKEA and you know just how an ant feels, channelled and controlled your every purchase controlled even when you think you are in control of you own destiny.
Anyway as a result of my note taking and observations and occasional tut tuting as mum and dad loaded stuff into the trolley, we made it out of the shop with only a few extra things, unlike some. Who we left scratching their heads, deciding if they should leave the new deluxe flat pack dressing table or granny in the car park. Again we can relate this too nature, after all you never see an old ant or termite they are abandoned outside to fend for themselves left in preference for a new flat pack food store for the winter. It is also of interest to note the perversity of nature in the urban society, that then results in the abandoned grannies ending up being eaten by termites. The dog says it is the cycle of life, and it does help to keep the car park clear of decaying grannies
Interestingly insects are much better at coping in their own urban environment because they don’t need arrows on their corridors to tell them which way to go, unlike shoppers in IKEA who even with arrows still get it wrong.
We now have a whole load of flat pack bookcases to assemble and the dog has for some reason brought back an abandoned granny which he says he brought back for tea. Although personally I would have thought she was a bit chewy for him HA HA AH HAH HAHAHH Hah hahah hah hahahah hahhahh hahah hah ha ha ha hahah hahah HA ……….. Mum just said IDIOT that’s a bit unfair on granny, she hasn’t said anything yet.