Monday, 28 November 2011

Slow Broadband. B.T. And the Acme Pheasant Ned Kelly Shot Gun Protection Kit

This Broadband is not getting any faster, we are starting to feel like good old BT are pulling a fast one, I have visions of gangs of Indian call centre workers sniggering and muttering things like that will teach those British colonial ******* for shooting all the tigers just for fun. Then all those B.T. fat cats employ us all on the cheap so we can listen to the masses complaining they have no broadband. Which they only want so they can sit on their bums all day on Facebook.

Talking of shooting Tigers, the shoot were back this morning bagging the odd pheasant (when I say odd I mean one or two, not strange) Still I was at school doing metal work and mum and dad did the IKEA run again to get more bookcases. That’s five of them now so with luck that might just about do it. Dad says if we had decent broadband he would sit on his bum for the rest of the day and annoy folk on Facebook with pictures of tiger skin rugs and elephant umbrella stands. You don’t see many of them these days probably a bit non PC (as in politically correct not personal computer).

Some of the pheasants were hiding in the garden again today, so maybe they are not quite as stupid as we think. I am trying to help some of them, and I have got the metalwork class working on Acme Pheasant Ned Kelly Shot Gun Protection Kits. These are very effective, as long as the pheasant does not try to fly, well let’s face it pheasants are not great at flying at the best of times. So the additional weight of a couple of pounds of steel plate makes flight impossible, and the swimming experiment was a bit of a disaster, but I don’t think pheasants float anyway, so that shouldn’t matter.

There is one small drawback to the Acme Pheasant Ned Kelly Shot Gun Protection Kit, if you hit a pheasant who is wearing one it makes one hell of a dent in the car. On the bright side the little critters can’t run out in front of you as fast, so they are safer on the road wearing it. 

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