Friday, 11 November 2011

BT, China, The first Poodle to climb Mount Everest and the burning of the church menu

Not that much happened today as everyone is well spaced out and all in all confused. The nice little old lady who did live in this house appears to have not let BT know she has moved, so we can’t have a new telephone number. But as things stand she is paying our telephone bill. The dog has asked if he could phone a Poodle friend in China who he met once on Mount Everest.

The Poodle had unfortunately been packed as fresh meat as a treat to celebrate the successful climb of Everest in 1924 by some British blokes. But when they unpacked the Poodle at the top of Everest the little beast did a runner seeing how he was still fresh and bouncy bearing in mind he had been carried to the top of Mount Everest. The Poodle told the dog these two men chased him round and round the top of the mountain for ages trying to stab him with a pointy stick with a Union Jack flag on it. As it happened the men were well exhausted and ran out of steam and then a blizzard started and they vanished leaving the poodle trying to work out how to get home.

However as luck would have it (for the poodle anyway) the dog was passing and dogs being dogs they had a chat and chewed a few bones, well a stick as it happens, as there was just the one with the flag attached to it.  The pair of them were then wandering down the mountain when they bumped into the two men, who on seeing the dog thought he was a Yeti, well he is huge with red eyes and big pointy teeth. So they ran off in the wrong direction again, despite the dog offering to help (why he did that in Latin is anyone’s guess, I think he thought if they were up there they must know Latin). Since then the Poodle and the dog have been friends although the Poodle decided to go to China as he was worried that a return to Britain might see him on someone’s dinner plate.  

Therefore the dog does like to phone the Poodle on the odd occasion to talk about old times and he thought, if a nice little old lady was going to pay, mum would be OK and let him use the phone. Mum has said NO and also added IDIOT.

One small and annoying thing about the timing of this move to a new house has been the fact the weather is rubbish. Dad even got us all a Chinese Takeaway on the way home to remind us of the Poodle and cheer us up, but it was rubbish too (the takeaway not the Poodle) although it did come from the Church, and not the Castle. And as mum said the Castle makes better Chinese than the Church, and has burnt the church menu ……….. It’s what all good Goths do I guess…


  1. The Chinese Takeaway came from the ch...? OK, I'm not even going to ask you to explain that one.

    Apart from that, I actually understood this post and I'm frightned that I may be entering the mindset of one Mr Rob Z Tobor...
    I'm scared...very scared...

  2. Well to explain the Church and the Castle slightly, it is to do with towns and sometimes it is best to be slightly vague. After all in these days of sue everyone with everything, No Win No Fee street cruising solicitors about I do not wish to bring the mighty forces of The Terror of the Tongs upon our simple world of the everyday diary of everyday folk