The Famous Architecture of the PERPLEXED PINEAPPLE PAGODA of PERSIA

10 years ago this was my first-ish A to Z. A time when I wrote a diary in a rather distinctive style as the eccentric child of cyberspace . . . . . I say first-ish because I did a practice run in March 2012 so I sort of did it twice.

A little Mad but then doing the A to Z can drive a chap mad.

 
I have always thought the Letter P was one of the better letters to deal with in the A to Z

The Letter P 

It has been perishingly cold today with persistent petulant piercing rain penetrating the pores of the poor folk walking their Pekinese in the park, it was predicted so why they have to punish themselves is rather peculiar, and the Pekinese looked perished and puffed out anyway.

In school today we were discussing the principles of Architecture and in Particular the Famous Perplexed Pineapple Pagoda of Persia built by the Prince of Persia in the 15^th century at the Peak of his powers.  It is apparently known as the Perplexed Pineapple because of the polymorphic plebeian perpendicular pitched pillared pivoting Staircase that penetrates the Pineapple Pagodas prestigious Crown. The dog incidentally says “Poppycock and I could write what I know about Architecture on a piece of paper the size of a peanut in big letters”. All I can say is POOOOOO, the dog is just a posy protagonist, what the dog fails to take into account is all the readers know less that I do about the Famous Perplexed Pineapple Pagoda of Persia. And anyway If that very nice Steven Spielberg is going to make the block buster movie (sorry the sequel to the block buster movie) then a prestigious panoramic location is a priority.

Interestingly the PERPLEXED Pineapple Pagoda was built as a Pigeon Loft for the princes prized POISONOUS PERUVIAN PUFF PIGEONS who would Promenade importantly in the pinnacles of its crown. Mr Plant the Architecture lecturer said it was quite plausible that the Pagoda was built as a pleasure facility and………..

It was at this point that the lesson came to an abrupt halt when Esmeralda’s pyrotechnics’ panicked the pupils and they pushed out of the doors towards the Pub for a pork Pie. It was all a bit chaotic until Peter the landlord of the Pub started playing his bagpipes……. A sort of Pie Piper…… Mmmmmm I have always wondered where the meat in his pies came from???......... ……. ……. ……YUM

Ooooooo by the way Captain Flint the Parrot says “Pieces of Eight ……… Polly needs a Poo”

So much for the principles of good taste……. really 

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An OBSCURE Russian OLIGARCH, OWLS and Harry (p) OTTER

O Dear….. Despite Obverting my eyes in an Odd way I still ended up On the ORANGE school bus (the only Orange school Bus) ON what was an Ordinary day.  According to the Weatherman on the wireless (the Oracle Of all Our Weather) it was going to rain all day something Orrible (sorry horrible) Only it was Sunny sort OF.  On the bus Esmeralda was being rather Ostentatious and it turned Out she has spent her Oliday (sorry holiday) working for the ISOBAR handing Out flyers offering free entry and a free drink. She was also hopping to make some other cash selling (Blackmailing) Obscene photos of the lemming of Petrograd; however they have posted all the photos On their Facebook page and have Ordered more for Old friends back in Omsk.   

Just in case you are thinking WHAT????..... You don’t obviously follow my Diary on a regular basis, I am Open to such Outrage but feel at this point it is time for you to go Off to Other Offerings in cyberspace, Outwards and Onwards so to speak (write).

OK at school the Headmaster had invited the OSLO OCARINA ORCHESTRAL ensemble to play after the Ovation and Oodles of praise from their previous Outstanding visit.  The OSLO OCARINA ORCHESTRAL ensemble are funded by an Obscure Russian  Oligarch who made his fortune selling Owls to Obsessive Harry Potter Fans desperate to buy any sort of Harry Potter Objet d'art. Anyway me and Harry Potter are not mates as you know, and I will not gloat by saying he is now an Obscure has been Wizard doomed to Oblivion……(OH sorry I did say it……….. HAHH HAH HAH HAH  HO HO HO HO HO HO HOH Hahah hahahhhah )

After various odds and ends of lessons including Oceanography and Observing an Ocelot and an Osprey and making Ointment from Olives (O God now I sound like Harry B******y Potter) I went home on the Orange Bus

At Home the Dog was involved with the Occult trying to sacrifice an Octopus that have been force fed Okra in the old  tradition of offering Odin something Offbeat.  The Octopus you will be pleased to know escaped. However the dog showed me the Octopus’s large empty rectangular tank and said “ O look the large rectangular tank has turned into an Octagon HA HAHAH HAHH HAH HAH HAH HHAH HAH HAH HAahah hah hah ah ahah haah ha hahh ha hah hah ah ha haahah h      ….. .. . . ..ha hahahh haha hah hah “

OK that’s It over for today………

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The NEOLITHIC NEMESIS of the NIGHT and Auntie NELLY

Navigating Nomadically through the never-world of cyberspace I feel I need to mention My old friend of cyberspace and a Noble Pirate, Captain Nessman of the High Seas (I know name-dropping). Now me and Captain Nessman have known each other for nearly two years (no longer) and have nurtured a good friendship. Even when Captain Nessman  would suddenly nip off in to the NIGHT sky crossing the great Nabulus seas in his Neoclassical Nuclear Pirate ship The Nautilus, No that’s wrongs that’s Captain Nemo’s or was it Leonard Nimoy’s from Startrek? ………. Never mind.

But Now Captain Nessman of the High Seas has settled into a new life as a Notable Academic in many things

Auntie Nelly who is Ninety Nine said she spent last night in a night club with Nigel the nice man from NICARAGUA, She said the narcotics can make her Very nimble. Mum says Auntie Nelly is a nightmare and once ran Nude through the Norwegian Embassy, and smuggles the dogs Nitroglycerine though customs at the nearest airport hidden in her Zimmer frame.   

 

Apparently the Neolithic Neon Newtonosaur had been seen in the woods, needless to say me and the dog went to explore. The Neolithic Neon Newtonosaur was so named because Isaac Newton was the first person to see one through his telescope. Bearing in mind he had just invented it, (the telescope not the Neolithic Neon Newtonosaur) and had the only one (again I refer to the telescope), so not as impressive as it might appear.  Anyway it is worth remembering that the Neolithic Neon Newtonosaur a nasty niggly nomadic beast, The nemesis of the night, should not be confused with the Nano  Newtonosaur a small Norse furry Creature.

It was not long until we came face to face with the so called nemesis of the night, the Neolithic Neon Newtonosaur but it was strangely happy, and it told us it had just met a pretty girl who had given him a invite to the ISOBAR and he even gets two free drinks after she said he looked like an INTERGALACTIC INVADER from IO. We did say what ever you do don’t drink the Billberry bush MOONSHINE  and you should be fine.

I seem to have drifted away from N words a bit but as the dog says an N is Just a Z that has fallen over. But I can’t work out if it has fallen forwards or fallen backwards ………. Ah mum has said IDIOT.

I am told this is not the way to write a novel……………. OK why Not?

So…..NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA……….

HAH HAH hah ahah ahah ha haha haha hah ahah aa a 

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The MYSTERIOUS MUMBLING MUTANT MONSTERS of MESOPOTAMIA

After a morning chatting with friends in the Bishops Castle, we returned home because dad has had a brilliant idea. He is making the first Steam Powered Muck Magnet that will remove muck from almost everything using a magnetic flux density Motionless Multiplex Drive Motor. But this may take dad hours or maybe longer so I will move on to my more mundane day.  

After a lunch of mulligatawny made with Mutton, eaten with toasted Muffins, me and the dog went out to explore the woods, a new part this time with its own small microclimate, where we met three Mutant monsters, the Mysterious Murderous Mumbling mummified Mutant Monsters of Mesopotamia. Playing Music and muttering about the mysteries of Mythology and mythological men.

Having a long conversation with the Mysterious Murderous Mumbling mummified Mutant Monsters of Mesopotamia was well misjudged as the following few minutes of conversation will make clear (They are called Mumbling for a very good reason).

Dog   “AH, you must be the Mysterious Mutant Monsters of Mesopotamia”

Monster 1  “Musrestuizt Musvieinvy Mddheewyhf Monkeys”

Monster 2  “Muxicllly Muised My move Miffgsdgss Rob”

Me            “WHAT?........... I don’t think so”

Monster 1  “Marionettes Mintressed Mouse move monsoon Muesli” 

Me            “WHAT? Monsoon Muesli”

Monster 1, 2 and 3 and dog  “Muesli YUCK”

Monster 3  “ Monsoon miedres  Misslrfed makes much Hail”

Dog            “At least four feet”

Me             “WHAT?”

Monster 3  “Much Hail”

Dog            “midget Microbes Making Migration in Miniture”

Monster 1, 2 and 3  “HA HAH HAH HAHH hah hah ah h haha hahh hah hah ahh ha hha hahah ahhah h”

Me             “What?”

Monster 1  “Mondi  Mombi  Mumbai”

Mombi

Me             “Mumbai?”

Monster 2  “Mumbai Rob, Mumbai Dog”

Monster 3  “ Mutter mutter Mutter misdsbbtty Mumbai”

Then they headed back into the woods where the trees and undergrowth were much thicker.  The dog said they were off to a party in Mesopotamia with The marauding mean megalomaniacal Mankind Mutilating Marionettes of Moldova, and we might have been invited if I have not said No……….. WHAT?

Anyway back at home we discovered that dad had accidently inverted the Magnetic poles of the Muck Magnet …….YUCK, Mum is not pleased………

OK Must Go……….. Mumbai Everyone ….” Misffleerlkrrek Midbrwsfgges”

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