Wednesday 23 November 2011

Steven Spielberg, The Adventures of Tintin, Captain Haddock, The BT engineer and the slowest broadband connection on the moon

A BT engineer came today to look at the broadband and sort things out, but he said everything in the house was OK. He also said ours was the slowest broadband connection he had ever come across. Well that is not an ideal situation for someone writing an internet diary of his life is it. But a man in India plans to fix it, well when I say fix he was planning to sort of monitor it.

It appears broadband starts very slowly and speeds up over a period of several days in the UK and the man in India recons it is all to do with the fact it was dark and owls have been sitting on the lines eating cheeseburgers and stuff like that. Anyway the BT engineer in the house was muttering something about cans of worms and then ran off, and mum said something about BT and IDIOTS.

All I know is BT and a house full of boxes is making a right old mess of the potential block buster movie by that very nice Steven Spielberg, who I think has sort of coped out by making films about Tintin. Oooooooo yes Tintin does not have to deal with things in boxes and BT and he has a rubbish dog. OK it is better than Lassie but really. Here we are struggling against the tides of reality in order that the very nice Steven Spielberg can make a decent movie full of new conceptual visions from a multidimensional film script with a few spies and pirates plus the banshees in the woods and he does The bloody ******** Adventures of Tintin mum has told me off for swearing now.  

And Captain Haddock what sort of a name is that he is not even real unlike Captain Nessman of the High Seas who incidentally has returned after a short battle with a monster that attacked his ship. He is well and the monster is dead. However that Captain Haddock is still about in a cinema near you, me and the dog think it is all very fishy HA HA HAH HAH HAH HAH HA HAH HAH HAH HAHAHAHA Hah hahah hahahah hahahahahahaahahah ha ha ………… mum just said IDIOT again I blame BT………. (Bloody Tintin HA HA HAH hah hahha ha ha hhah hah hah hahhah hah ha ).

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