Thursday, 24 February 2011

See whats happens if you spend days in dull offices.......Blue Smoke

Dad has been working in his workshop all day with Pirate Pete, they have been making a Transflux-Monofisolter Mechanical Ion Machine all day. I don’t know exactly what that is, so I asked Pirate Pete he just said I don’t know Har Har HAr. So I asked dad but he said I don’t Know.  

They finished it a short time ago and so we all went into the garden to see them start it up, it is a very impressive machine with lots and lots of gears and levers and glass tubes full of blue gas and electrodes on the top. It needed to be plugged into the mains power and had a pump that clicked and banged once it was running, lots of the gears started to go round and round and the blue gas glowed so it looked good in the dark. Then there was lots of arcing and flashing on the top like lightning and blue smoke started to fill up the garden luckily for us the wind was blowing the smoke across the road and over the fields with the sheep in. In the end it got very thick and we could not see the sheep and the whole machine started shaking and making a bleeping noise so Pirate Pete pulled a few levers and it stopped making blue smoke but it started to spin and buried itself. It seems to have gone a long way underground and there is a huge pile of soil in the middle of our garden now. Dad and Pirate Pete were really pleased they said that they knew it did something but mum said IDIOTS. What is quite interesting is the smoke is clearing from the field over the road and the sheep are all glowing a sort of pale blue. There is a man taking pictures of them too, he looks like the local Environmental Health man who was attacked by the car dealer yesterday. I think the farmer is about to hit him with his sheep dog now.  

The Joules Verne Pocket Oracle and Prophecy machine has said today’s  events have the appearance of a ghost writer who has spent all day in a big grey office in a big grey building and got home late and has had his brain cells wiped clean of original thoughts; a bit like 1984. Dad said he knew there must be a logical explanation why he was making a machine he only got the blue prints for in a plain brown envelope this morning.  Mercedes is in a bigger grump she says she had to spend the whole day in the garden reading Mills and Boon, luckily it was a very sunny day.

And if you’re a ghost writer in a grey office and it is the sunniest day of the year all I can say is NOT FAIR

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