Monday, 21 February 2011

Fashion orange models and the supercharged Ford Model T

Mum and dad had to go off to some trade fashion show today so me and Mercedes went too. There was a man doing seminars on how to sell things but mum and dad said he was an IDIOT and talking complete rubbish. Dad said it was ****** RUBBISH but mum hit him. Normally she would hit him with the armadillo toaster but that was at home.

There was a catwalk show at some point in the day but the music was rubbish and very loud so we ran off to a different part of the show. There appeared to be several very thin anorexic models wandering about with very little on, only they were a bit of a strange orange colour; mum said it was spray on tan but it did make then look radio active. Dad decided to use his Geiger counter to test them but said they were safe. The models all had to wear very high stiletto heals but they were unable to walk normally so they looked odd moving about. Mercedes said she has decided that she will not become a fashion model because she would end up hitting all the starring middle aged men and does not want to be a strange colour.  There was a man walking about in underwear too but he did not have to wear stiletto healed shoes and was not orange but a lot of people were going Ooooooo Yuk anyway.  In the end we ran off early, Mum and Mercedes said we should leave while it was still light as they didn’t fancy meeting the man in his underwear in the dark.

We then had to deal with the M6 at Birmingham when its busy, luckily dad had the flame thrower in the car so everything moved out the way for us. I think dad’s superchargedV8 metalflake purple Goth stretched Ford Model T with flames leaping into the air round it from the flame thrower is a bit scary to most drivers.  Mum says he should think about getting something a bit more eco for everyday use as the Model T only does 3 miles to the gallon although it can do it very quickly.  Anyway Pizza and Chips for tea Yum. Mercedes has just tried to walk in a pair of stiletto shoes but is now stuck in the wooden flooring in the hall so is now getting grumpy, I have offered to spray her orange but she has threatened to kill me if I do. Dad and the dog are going to remove her from the floor in a bit in time to eat.

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