Hello I am almost back but not quite

 O Yes it is true I am almost back but not quite, you see I along with a friend who is a trusted builder have destroyed the bathroom in my house. I have to say it was planned we did not just say. . . . Hey lets trash the bathroom. . . . And then remove an entire wall, all the tiles off two other walls, the floor and part of the ceiling, leaving an empty shell.  It is the final-ish part of what has been a long term master plan to update the house and after the bathroom has been done there will be no major work left to do just decor to make everything look interesting. My wife and I do not believe in the white wall and minimal content we like colour and I like stuff and lots of it. Although having said that I like nice stuff, you know Indian gods made of ceramics, mummified  ancient chinese fabled flying dragons. and little things that no is quite sure what they do.

This work has meant  Shed of the Year 2099, my own little personal project has come to a halt again for a few days. It has been inspected by my friend and building advisor who has said it is looking good but making twiddly bits can be a bit of a pain. . . I entirely agree and I have to admit he did say not to do it, but it is in my DNA I just have to add towers and little stained glass windows and curves and other architectural texture so that the shed is not just a shed. 

A bit of detail from Shed of the year 2099

Here in Britain we have a TV show called Shed of the Year and the plan is to enter the finished shed, but I have well and truly missed this year's final entry date. The good point about that is by next year this shed will look awesome, although I will admit that may be a biased opinion.

Well thats it I will go now but you now know what I am up too and I will be back soon to blog on a more regular basis . . . But not quite yet.     

The A to Z Reflections Post of 2017

So here we are again the end of another A to Z  . . . . . I do like a good A to Z. Sadly I had to cheat slightly because of my own ongoing project which is now almost water tight. Once it is I will chill a bit, but the thing with all projects based on your own efforts is you need to keep going or it will slow up or even stop entirely. Interestingly this is also entirely true of Blogging in general and the A to Z too. You see if you miss a post or miss a letter then it is always slightly easier to leave it another day or two and before you know it three years have passed or you find that pesky A to Z finished last week. Just as you were about to write a really great post for the letter F all about The Florentines Frog and its ability to Fly in Frozen Fog . . .

But Hey I made it even if at times it all got a little quirky. Which bearing in mind my blog is a little odd anyway may have confused the odd passing blogger as they walked those twisting corridors of the Alphabet curious as to what other folk were up to.

Now next year it will all be different, well I say that but I suspect next year will creep up on me like some sort of silent creeping beast that can move very fast.  Then I will panic and wave my arms about, probably write something mad again and so the cycle continues. But if I start then I will finish as I am a stubborn chap and do not give up without a fight. . . . Unless I am paid loads of money to do so . . . (hint hint).

It was a quiet A to Z for me as it usually is but I know why I just don’t get to enough other blogs to comment. If you want visitors there are two critical issues in blogging and I have been blogging long enough to know what I am talking about. The first is you need to post at least 2-3 new posts every week (and not so long folk don’t have time to read them) and secondly you need to visit and comment on a lot of other blogs and on a regular basis.  At present I do neither although I did post every day for a long time. OK you will never get all those other things done but your blog will be successful. It is all about priorities and right now mine is a large wooden thing in the garden.

OK I am digressing and that is all I am saying on the subject of the A to Z until next year when it might even be possible I might or might not do it again.  . . . OK I probably will I said I’m stubborn. . . . 

Why I never finished the A to Z

Well it is completely terrible as I have not reached the End of the A to Z. OK I was sort of muddling along using old posts to weave a wavy route towards the end; and had even go as far as Y, but then it all went completely wrong and those last few letters needed to reach the Letter Z all just fell into the great void of nothingness.  I know you have been waiting for weeks wondering what the hell I have been doing and would I ever manage to complete a task I have completed many times before. All waiting for my final crescendo as Z loom's from out of the mist to finally make sense of all those other letters. The letters that without Z seem to be total gibberish. But well I have failed

 So there you have it Yes I got to Y but why I did not get past Y and get the last five or Six letters done is something I will never be able to explain . . . I might be able to blame it on Zombies, a Zebra and a plague of Zoraptera nibbling the woodwork of my brain . . . . . . Pesky Critters. I am sure that people will understand and will accept my apology for this failure I will do better next year . . maybe . . . . . sort of . . . . . . . A bit?........... 

The Vampire and the Vole

Well V means its time to repeat on old favourite of mine . . . . Yes I know what you are saying, but I do like this post it always amuses me and I wrote it. . . Well my hands did I still dont know where my hands got the idea from but that is hands for you.

VICTOR the VOLE.

“VHAT do you VANT” said the VAMPIRE to the VOLE.

“What”? Said VICTOR the VOLE.

“For a start off those are not V words” said VICTOR.

VICTOR the VOLE was very good at words and knew all his VERBS and VOWELS.

  

The VAMPIRE was very displeased because he was being criticized by a little VOLE and he shouted “I VILL bite VOU and VURN VOU into a VOMBIE, VES a VILE VITTLE VOMBIE”.

“A VOMBIE “ said the VOLE “surely you mean a Zombie”.

“VOMBIE VOMBIE VATS VHOT I VED” said the VAMPIRE, who was VERY angry; so angry he bit VICTOR the VOLE on the neck.

“I VARNED VOO” said the VAMPIRE.

And VICTOR the VOLE said “I suppose you VINK that’s VUNNY”.

And they both laughed hysterically as a cow jumped over the VOON.

The VEND