The kitchen sink and a man called Chris

Today was sunny but very very cold. And no one got lost in a snow storm, and it was rather a jolly sunset, anyway enough on that subject for now.  Our good friend Chris the builder came to visit today, because there are certain jobs I am not allowed to do and that dad does not like doing, one of which is plumbing. OK I am allowed to leap into dark damp black holes and dig trenches that fill with water to stop Zombies attacking but not plumbing with real pipes and water and taps and stuff.

The first major problem was when Chris the builder asked where the stop tap was for the water . . . . . . . . .AH yes as it happens it is not something we had been told when we moved in, but luckily our neighbour who was sawing up wood for a Zombie defence fence did know where the tap was. It was under an ex-tree, when I say ex –tree I do not refer to some sort of exotic make of tree but to a tree that is no longer there, it is no wonder we did not find the tap that is no what we were expecting at all.  Then once various other taps were turned off the kitchen sink was ripped out and a new kitchen sink was hammered into place with a sledge hammer, it was a bit noisy but getting to the point super fast because I am a bit tired and need to switch off (like the taps were), we now have a new posh sink in the kitchen that has running water and that has taps that work like they should work. The old sink had issues, I guess as we did not fit it, the previous owner did it was sulking and would refuse to stop the water flow of hot water which would trickle away all day and make drip drip drip noises, like a mad clock.

OK I’m off for a break I will discuss the rest of the day on my return if I remember what I did and remember to return. . .  

I have returned but I am going to go again because I have just listened to the weather forecast on the BBC, well that was not very nice of them to say after one day of sun it will be rotten till the end of time, that is a bit extreme even for the BBC.

I think I need to work on Plan B . . . . Mmmmmmmm what I need are idea’s, cunning idea’s at that.  OK that’s it toast and mugs of Hot Chocolate will do for now.

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Snow storms and an alien subterranean complex

It’s the Weather again tonight I’m afraid; just what is going on out there; there we were crossing the playground minding our own business complaining that it was far to cold again to do anything constructive in lessons as we have all started to malfunction and are going quietly mad, when we were attacked by a snow storm that meant we found ourselves lost in the middle of the playground surrounded by a white haze of white.  Esmeralda was all for forging ahead into the unknown and said we would be OK because we could eat the smallest children first. Freddie disagreed but then he is not very tall, but then again he is well defended by a group of ferrets discretely hidden about his person. In the end I was asked to save us as I am head boy and it is expected; I did think this would be a bit of a problem but I noticed I was standing on a manhole cover and so suggested we could get back to civilisation using the subterranean complex which I deduced must have been created by aliens as I have never noticed a manhole cover before.

As we entered the complex of tunnels out of the wind and snow I noticed all sorts of cables some of which appeared to be fibre optic, so we all thought this has to be the work of aliens, and it was dark. Luckily Freddie had a penknife and Esmeralda still had the cleaver from the domestic science lesson in her school bag, so our progress through the maze of tunnels (ok tunnel) was quick and we emerged into the IT department who apparently were having all sorts of problems as the internet had just crashed. This meant our class (all thirty seven of us) were able to make good our escape from a small cupboard at the back of the room.

As head boy I remained at the rear of the group to ensure the aliens did not get us, but as I was leaving the IT department, George asked the IT teacher who was scratching his head, how he managed to fit 37 people in a tiny cupboard. Unfortunately as the teacher looked up calling George an IDIOT he saw me and asked what I was doing so I explained I had suspicions that the school was under attack by aliens who might eat children and that they had now destroyed all external communications after making a tunnel to enter the school, I knew I must be right because the phones did not work either.

I still am not entirely sure why class 17HZ stampeded out into the snow screaming. And I thought just because I am head boy it was a bit unfair to send me out to find them. But luckily I found then near the manhole cover in the middle of the playground so was able to lead them all to safety along the alien tunnel back to the IT department. The IT teacher looked well shocked as we emerged from the small cupboard, so I think he was impressed. . .

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Mothers day and the life size Steam Powered Vincent Price Vampire Automata

I have descended into a state of limbo not as in the dance where you have to go under a pole a bit like the reverse of pole vaulting (as in the sport), no but like in a state of suspended animation where I am frozen and not doing anything. This is because the weather has turned back to winter and my mind has now passed winter and is in spring mode. I am not sure that nature is designed to deal with weather when it starts to reverse back in time, I certainly know in my own case my mind and body have now decided to shut down for a while until the weather catches it up again.  One of the things that makes this winter particularly hard is the fact that the weather in Britain started to get bad on the 3^rd June 2012, you see a decent diary has it moments so although this winter is not really terrible when added to a bad summer and autumn it means it feels like a very very very long winter.

In other items of importance. . . . . . . .Today was Mothers day, I say Mothers day but I refer to Mothers day in Britain because as it happens Mothers day is not a universal date and it appears that globally there are about thirty different dates for Mothers day. In fact today is one of the less common dates for Mothers day, so that’s COOL (or very cold).

My life size Steam Powered Vincent Price Vampire Automata was quite a surprise and mum said it was the last thing she wanted (sorry was expecting), It has photo cells in it and when it gets dark he starts creeping about the house hissing (that’s due to steam) and biting anything that moves.  I tested in on the cats in a dark shed which seemed to work although I think maybe it might have been best if I had remained outside rather in the dark shed during testing, still I will recover and I only lost a couple of pints of blood but that was mainly due to the cats hiding on my head. I have named him Boris although everyone says that is confusing because Boris is a monsters name and not a vampires name, vampires have names like George or Hector or Roger or Volfgarde  . . . . . I still prefer Boris myself.

Ok that’s it I am off now to hunt for the source of some heat, any sort of heat, well maybe not the hot steamy heat of a life size pointy toothed Steam Powered Vincent Price Vampire Automata.

DAMN . . . . . . . . . . now where has it sneaked off to, that is not meant to happen it’s not dark yet.

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A Pink Psychedelic Pigeon Perching on a Pomegranate tree.

Saturday again and for reasons I do not understand we are having retro-weather, or in other words winter has sneaked back which is not nice. I did go outside at one point and looked at the sky and the Zombie Defence Trench but the sky was cold and the zombies have all gone back into hiding because zombies do not like the cold. It appears the only activity today was banshees who do like cold weather, the Lemmings of Petrograd who of course come from Petrograd so a cold day on the English Welsh border is just another average day for them. And then we heard, but did not see a strange bird or at least I assume if was a bird, it made strange noises and Heavy Harry the Cat showed some interest but Heavy Harry the Cat hates the cold and was not going out to investigate. And the chicken tried to do an impression of the strange bird which the chicken says is a Pink Psychedelic Pigeon Perching on a Pomegranate tree.

That reminds me I must go and continue my posts for the grand blogging event, the A to Z challenge thing that starts in April.  So for now that is your lot. I may or may not return…..

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The  YouTube Music Links of Rob Z Tobor