Why do humans like different stuff . . . The Big Question

I have just enjoyed a rather good Indian takeaway and am now drinking a nice cup of tea made by me. Interestingly the Indian restaurant makes great food but their tea is rubbish. I have tried to get them to make weak tea in the past but they just can’t understand the concept and it arrives like a cup of crude oil, ready to take the hairs off your chest and make you sing like Tiny Tim on helium.

Anyway this has made me ponder one of those big questions which is the vague theme of this year’s blog. Only because you were all getting bored with the day to day life of me doing my day to day stuff and writing a daily diary.  Yes the big question is . . . . . . Why do humans like different stuff. . . .  At first this might seem like a silly question but is it, you see in nature Lions eat Gazelles or Zebra, they dont go . .  AAAAhhhhh I wanted vanilla ice cream I don’t like raspberry ripple ice cream.  So why are humans so damn fickle about stuff why will one chap like pink and one like orange but with a subtle hint of blue.

I think we have to put this down to evolutionary development. To many (well mostly humans) humans are the pinnacle of evolutionary development on earth, we have invented the wheel and the screwdriver. However all species of critter on Earth will diverse to some degree in order to cope with environmental changes that may occur such as drought, flooding, temperature change or food sources vanishing. The problem for mankind is that humans are the first critter on planet Earth to change his environment to suit him rather than the other way round. This is OK while its all in control but just lately it has all sort of got out of hand, humans are ironically too successful as a species and have to put it bluntly buggered the planet a bit (I know a strong word for me indeed).

The thing is though, we are at the end of the day just another critter evolving on planet Earth in order to continue as a successful species, we are programmed to do this and have no free will to do anything else.  But as we are now slightly detached from nature thanks to things like central heating, cars, aeroplanes, supermarkets, chairs, Indian takeaways and many many other things, our genetic diversity has gone a bit odd taking an un-nature turn.

What this means is that some of us will like flock wallpaper while other will prefer a nice painted wall, or maybe you will find you prefer a city flat to a county cottage in the country. All well and good, but I suspect when it comes to the crunch and our environment makes a sudden change it seems unlikely that only those who eat coffee fudge ice cream and prefer a nice floral wall paper with matching rugs will survive. The rest of us dying out because of our taste in soft furnishing and liking lemon bon bons from the old corner sweet shop which sadly has become extinct.  

Can we beat the Laws of Probability. . . . . The Big Question.

Here we are again at the very edge of yet another Big Question one that folk often asked in many a scientific research establishment or the great corridors of the worlds Universities or even the slightly dark and dodgy looking bookie just off the high street. You know the one with the nondescript window and fading sign. What they all want to know is . . . . Can we beat the Laws of Probability. . . . . Yes folk have been working on this since the beginning of time and the answer is complex to say the least.

The simple answer would be. . . Yes and No but not always . . .  But that is not the sort of answer you have come here to read about is it. . . .  But if it is well mmmmmm that’s it then you can go now and do exciting stuff. . . . . . .  .

Well we all know the principle, toss a coin into the air insuring it spins and the Laws of Probability will state that the likelihood it will land either heads up or tails up proportionally will be just under 50/50.  It is just under 50/50 because the Laws of Probability state there is a very small possibility it could land on its edge. Do this four times in a row and the probability of getting the sequence right is (4*4*2) + (4*2) +2 plus the unknown element of the coin landing on its edge, something that is unlikely but possible. (OK I have done this maths in my head so if I’m wrong YA SUCKS BOO)

Now turn this into a horse race where there are a huge number of significantly substantial variables which affect the result and it is possible to see why bookies are well off and gamblers are poor.  But of course the Law of probabilities can be applied to many highly important aspects of Science not the least of which involves two rain drops running down the window of a Nuclear Research Laboratory where the scientists have to calculate the angle of the wind and the pattern of the other drops of rain on the window. Remember each rain drop will collect more rain as it descends.   And therefore Science will tell us that the drop nearest the centre of the window will be the 5 to 1 odds on favourite to win the race. Allowing Professor Clarke to recover his losses from his impetuous bet in the snail race along the reactor floor, after his foolish bet on the larger British Garden Snail.  It is a common fact that its larger foot would make it susceptible to increased heat from the reactor. Had Professor Clarke applied the Laws of Probability to the snail race correctly he would have know this and not lost 87p betting on the nose.  The snail has since became a superhero due to unforeseen and highly improbable side effects worked out to be 119,5555,321 to 1 making the research establishments tea lady a very rich woman.  She never did understand the Laws of Probability, but likes to read Marvel comics.         

So can we beat the Laws of Probability, well the answer we can now see is clearly . . . . .

Yes and No but not always . . . . . . . . . . DAMN.

Fingernails . . . the Big Question Answered

Well I was asked a question in cyberspace the other day about fingernails, no not the nails you can buy to nail fingers to walls, but fingernails at the end of fingers.  I can’t remember the exact question (sorry Miss Lily) but it was all about their purpose and stuff. And this is an important question because it is not one that Charles Darwin or the Pope ever used in their epic battle of theory v theology.  One the Pope always used to win, but mainly thanks to the Spanish inquisition, folk never argued with the Spanish inquisition. As history has often told us religion can be a bit iffy in its methods of persuasion, anyway this a distraction from the issue of finger nails.

So let us consider fingernails in evolutionary terms what was there function and what are they. Well we know they are made of the same material as hair which explains why they grow constantly, but do they perform something useful like pointing. . . . Well NO.

You see man's nearest ancestor on Earth is the chimpanzee and they don’t do much with their fingernails either in fact in nature most critters don’t use fingernails. The main exception to this is cats, they have fingernails but they are known to us as claws. So this must mean that man and cats are closely related in some odd way, it can’t be a coincidence that they are one of man's closest domestic animals that share (or takes over) his house and life. Even both our main food sources originate from supermarkets.

So it appears that the primary evolutionary purpose of fingernails was to catch mice. This now defunct function in man however has been lingering in the subconscious of the human race for thousands of years and has been the driving force behind mans technological development as we worked relentlessly towards our new goal, the artificial mouse which has finally reached its pinnacle with the Optical Mouse as used in most homes to move that little cursor about on our computers. We are reconstructing the cat playing with its furry toy.

Theology has still never resolved the issue of fingernails and religion is still uncomfortable about why God created them.  If you ask the Pope about them he will raise two fingers in the air to show you his fingernails, shrug his shoulders and then say something to you in Latin which is best not translated.    

The Most Boring Blog Post . . . . . . in the World

It is plainly clear that my blog has suffered from the side effects of my Man Flu which continues to suck the life blood out of my brain making it difficult to be motivated and bouncy.  Add to this the fact the weather is not the sort of weather that a grumpy bloke feels motivated and bouncy in. Yes it’s cold and wet and the remains of the bit of snow we had can be seen on the hills around us. It was not enough snow to make a Snow Dog or Snow Zombie with or do much at all except look out the window at and go YUCK. This is what myself and the cats did we looked out and went YUCK.

In order to alleviate some of the irritating cough I presently have I bought a bottle of a Vicks cough mixture for irritating coughs which seems to work but tastes like liquid Vick. Someone did suggest covering my feet in Vick at night when I go to bed, sticking a pair of socks on to avoid a rather nasty mess of Vick all over the bed. They said it cures everything but I am by nature a grumpy disbelieving cynical sceptic so have no plans to do this unless all else fails.  And anyway none of you are interested remotely is any of this or the fact that the bathroom plumbing sort of played up last night at 11:00pm in the evening and so I was grovelling about swearing at screwdrivers and bits of pipe and the like.

The good news is that we are off to have a meal tonight at Big Bills Greasy Fur Ball Café, the greatest eating establishment in the world. I am not sure what I will have yet as it often depends on how Big Bill is feeling at the time, as is the prerogative of all great chefs

Only a short time ago I removed the very last bit of yellow wallpaper from the walls of what will be our new posh living room. It has taken much longer than planned to do partly because I have Man Flu and partly because its building work which as we all know always takes longer and costs more than expected.

So there you have it this is the words most boring blog post, but it keeps you all up to date with the events close to me. Well some of them I am not going to try and explain about the LED lighting and the small flock of seagulls hiding in a tea chest singing old Beach Boys songs to a Mole.

Oooo you will note as I predicted television companies are getting excited about the election already with talk of a seven way leaders head to head (oooooo that will be fun) and the Queen is still alive but you don’t see her about MMmmmmmmm.  . . . As for Marks and Sparks . . . Well, read my predictions? 

And we have mice but not by choice, sneaky critters.