The Paradoxical Loop of the National Health Service

We have been to the Hospital today to see Mr Michael who is not well, he was asleep when we arrived and I have now been informed that poking patients with a pointy stick to wake them up is not good for many reasons. The first of which is the loud scream upsets the other patients who then also scream, leading to general panic and a rush to the exit by the visitors who fear that the patients have all turned into mad Zombies. The second reason is it sets off the heart monitors, which then makes all the nurses rush to the patients, where they (the nurses) are trampled to death by fleeing visitors escaping from Zombies. They would like to send Mr M home but he lives at the top a hill with a long impassable track to it, so there is a lot of confusion at present about where Mr M will be allowed to go.

It is interesting that politicians often shake their heads and sigh a lot about the problems of the national health system and how as we all get old so we all need more support, but then they complain we are all living too long and need to work until we are all much older to pay for it all. Of course one of the reasons we all live much longer is that the national health system is jolly good at keeping everyone up and running about so that we can all work until we are all really old to help pay for the national health system. You can see there is a terrible loop going on here one that is yet to be resolved by the powers that be.  And our Friend Mr M has the as yet unresolved problem of he is not allowed to go home due to his impassable track but he is also not allowed to stay in hospital, it appears the world is very complex……  

Reuniouns, Proof of Aliens Breeding on Earth and Dogs

Before I return to tell more of the secret mission on the South Wales coast I must first let you know I have been close to the North Wales Coast today on what was a grand reunion for old school friends. I must also add that although I was there it was not a grand reunion for my school and I did not have a clue who anyone was, and they did not know who I was, although they all knew each other. It is odd being at the grand reunion of folk who have not seen one another for up to 40 odd years or so when you have never met them before, but they were all very nice people and I got to have a nice lunch, a hot chocolate and an exciting drive along some of the wettest motorways I have ever been on which was well scary….

So while on the subject of wet scary things I should show you my proof of aliens breeding on the beaches of Saundersfoot in Pembrokeshire, because it is rather convincing. And before anyone thinks I have been tinkering with the picture I can assure you I have not. The only thing I have not worked out is do these aliens remain tiny aliens in which case they can sneak about unseen, after all I did photograph those Nano-Alien spacecraft way back when and those two bits of evidence do rather link up rather well. On the other hand they could grow into huge aliens very fast and pass themselves off as members of the yacht club; in fact could it be the local yacht club is a front for alien activity.

Note the little Alien faces as they emerge from their shells

 One other small thing I noticed about beaches is they have a strange effect on two particular creatures on the planet; both go a bit silly when placed on a nice sandy beach, Humans and Dogs.  Is there a reason for this what is in both men and dogs that makes them run about on beaches digging holes and chasing balls, is the fact that a dog will see man as a god and god is in fact dog backwards significant. Could it be that we both emerged from the primitive earth’s sea millions of years ago at the same time, man throwing his first pointy stick at his prey only to have it returned by a primitive dog wagging his tail and waiting for a treat, did this lead to the hotdog (lead . . . dog . . . Hah HAHHAH ha hah ha hah ha hah ha hah hah ah ah ah ha hhhah hahah ha hah hah ha ha ha hahah ah)      

Sand Circles. Aliens and a Wet Sunday Afternoon

Having been away on a secret mission at the coast for a week in Pembrokeshire where it was warm and sunny, yes that is a bit of a shock but luckily I managed to make Whalesimus the Micro God of Sunny beaches and holiday homes and his trusty Horse of the Sea. However he is not the Micro God of Home and so it is raining today somewhat, more that somewhat really.  I did say I would tell of some of my adventures and as today is cold and damp and I am doing very little in the tradition of a cold damp autumn Sunday, now is a good time to start.  I am sure you will be interested to know that there was much communication with aliens using the old classic Sand Circles method as favoured by many of the less aggressive aliens. Sadly Mr Jones was unable to visit us, but he did send the Ghost Writer down to help interpret messages and supply us with a suitable pointy stick to reply.

I also at one point had to save a dog fish from a rather aggressive seagull, I should point out all seagulls are aggressive even the friendly ones (this was not a friendly seagull). The poor old dog fish was stranded on the beach, I suspect left there by a dog who was annoyed by a fish pretending to be a dog. So the dog was sort of saying OK then Mr Clever lets see you do walkies, which the dog fish failed at rather badly allowing a mad seagull to attempt to eat it alive, not a nice thing to do.  So I returned the dog fish to a deep rock pool where it appeared to recover a bit although I will never know for sure if the dog fish managed to recover and make its way back to the safety of the sea (the world is full of such unknowns)…

I also met a talking telescope which demanded money or it was not going to tell us a thing, I told it that was extortion and I refused to pay him so he just sat there pretending to ignore us. Talking telescopes it appears are unsociable beasts who spend most of their time looking blankly out to sea in a grump.

Right well for now that is about it as I may go and attempt to shrug off the grey cloak of a damp autumn Sunday far from the nearest IKEA.  I will show you conclusive prove of aliens breeding on the beaches of Britain in the next few days, it was a bit of a shock to me too but the camera can not lie.

The Haunted Mill and my Return from the Secret Mission

I have returned from my secret mission (HELLO  AGAIN) which as you know was a secret in the best tradition of secret missions, and I will tell more of this in the following days, the dog fish, the alien message, the pointy stick, the Ghost Writer and the mushroom and the talking telescope as well as the strange yet tiny beasts. So all will become clear in the end, sort of.

But today we were making our way back home through the twisty roads of Mid-Wales from our secret location down on the South Wales coastline and as it happens it turned into a rather interesting little trip. Well I say interesting most of it was regular normal travelling, but we decided to stop and have a cup of tea at a mill, an old weaving mill whose heyday was a long time ago.  It was just a mill with a small shop and a tea room which looked much like any other mill you might pass in the middle of nowhere, and even entering the door was as one might expect…. . . . . . . However ………

You see this mill was a haunted mill, plainly obvious from one of the books it was selling called The Haunted Mill, a clue if ever there was one. We entered the mill along with two other couples and as we moved through the rather rag tag collection of jumpers, souvenirs, books, woven material and some odd things, we heard a mad little old lady shouting. . . . . is there anybody there and ringing a big bell . . . then she was shouting hello is that you and things like that. These are things that people often shout in haunted building and a strange little old lady in an old welsh weaving mill seemed to be very in keeping. However it turned out the little old lady wanted a cup of tea, much like the rest of us and we then realized that the old mill was empty except for the handful of customers. So then we all started shouting is there anybody there and hello while ringing the bell and giggling a lot, although no one went Oooooooooooooo in a ghostly manner just in case.

Then up popped (after a bit of time) an elderly but neat chap who was keen to round us all up, although one couple escaped before he arrived. So we all ordered tea and hid at the back of the tea room sniggering still, although not within view of the man from the mill just in case he was a ghost and was known for putting passers by through weaving machines. Turning them into bizarre woven wall hangings with strange ghostly faces; much like the one hanging on the wall near the spot we were all hiding and sniggering in. None of us had any food, but then more people arrived who did not know of the strange events we had encountered and ordered food, we were not sure the elderly but neat man could make food so we all sniggered again before scurrying off into the afternoon in our different directions.

Ooooooo yes I have made cardboard things while I was away, of which I will tell another day……