the Micro God of Impetuousness

While I had a few spare moments this morning waiting for the school bus I drew Fligh-toff-anci the Micro God of Impetuousness, just because the idea sort of came into my head.  As we were going to school I showed Fligh-toff-anci the Micro God of Impetuousness to the bus driver who was very interested indeed. Then as we started heading towards the school having picked up a gang of little old ladies who had decided on the spur of the moment to do a runner from their home (nicked named The Prison on the grounds that the food was rubbish;  they were planning to hunt down a Lions Cafe and eat scones and cream tea), the bus driver decided he would go to Shrewsbury. He just sort of thought why not its a showery but warm day so sod it; we dropped the gang of little old Ladies in the centre of town and they went on their cheery way heading towards a MacDonald’s to get their scones, cream and strawberry jam and a nice pot of tea and they had no intention of being palmed off with polystyrene cups and vending tea like back in the home (Prison). I don’t know how they got on because the rest of us went to B & Q the large DIY store as the bus drive said he fancies making a patio, it was also rather lucky as I need glue to make stuff and try and do a bit of work on the cardboard animals of the children of Whirl and Whizz (that rather makes it sound a bit like Wizard School like that Harry Potter went to, only it is not and that Harry Potter is rubbish at Art.

I showed Fligh-toff-anci the Micro God of Impetuousness  to the DIY store manager who said to the bus driver “go on then help yourself we have ripped enough folk off today” so we loaded the bus up with things and took the pretty route home. OOooooooo yes have you ever tried using one of those self service checkouts that talks to you and then gets all confused and keeps demanding you get an assistant, they are rubbish, I can see why the manager let us have our bits as we left he was attacking one with a chainsaw (WELL COOL).

At home I spent some time moving blocks in an attempt to make the great pyramid but I only had ten blocks and dad said it was rubbish. I have not drawn the Micro God of Rubbish I am sure there must be one, I will keep an eye out for him, I don’t mean I will keep my eye on the mantelpiece or the like, I mean I will keep watching for him. When I do finally find the Micro God of Rubbish I will be able to ask him/her where they have Bin . . . . . . . . .HAH HAH HHAH HAH AH HAH HAHAHH AH HAH HAH ah hah ah hah ah ah hah ahhah ah ahhah ah ah hah ah hah ah hah ahah hah ah hah ah ah hah ah ha hah ah ha ha hahahha hahahhah ah ha ha ha ha . . . . . . . . .BIN . . . BEEN.

  

.

Artists, Micro Gods and Zombies

After the whirl and whizz of young children creating art faster than a speeding bullet yesterday, or is it a speeding express train, I am not sure but I think it is one of them that Spiderman can go faster than. Quite frankly in artist’s terms either is somewhat stressful when you have the teaching ability of a small unknown furry creature that has never taught anyone anything before.  So I have created a new Micro God to help us artists on the fringe of artistry, us working bodger Artists who battle on regardless of the insurmountable obstacles that folk throw at us like blunt pencils or cheap rubbish ball point pens that sulk or even the slightly more serious problem, a total lack of talent. However I have never let such things get in the way so far, they are thrown aside with a Ha HA HA and a nonchalant wave of the hand like a small thing of no consequence.  However Duluximus the Micro God of Artists (and yours for a small fee of £3.75 plus p&p, no refunds allowed . . . batteries not included) is just the thing to sort all this out and I am expecting a new slower art to take hold any time now.

I am sure I was planning to tell you all something before I got totally distracted but it may be too late so I will tell you that interestingly earlier today I dug forty small holes in the ground looking for a leak. Later on though it turned out I had been tricked because after digging the forty  holes I was given forty leeks and told to hide them in the forty holes, presumably to stop them getting eaten by Zombies . . . . . . Do Zombies eat vegetables? 

The Outside Outsider Artist and my rapid rise to obscurity.

I was listening to the radio this morning (Radio 4) and they were discussing exhibitions of Outsider Art at the Hayward Gallery and some other big gallery in London, now outsider art refers to artists who paint and do stuff because they like doing it rather than for commercial success, a bit like making things like sculpture with cardboard which commercially is doomed. Apparently they said the market for Outsider Art is rather good at present, which to me seems somewhat a contradiction in terms, but the art market is very fickle. Lets face it, looking at in the cold light of day folk are paying millions for a few pounds worth of paint a few square feet of canvas and a wooden picture frame because it has a famous signature on it when they could buy some brilliant art as good for a few hundred pounds at most or cardboard sculpture for even less.  I am it appears an Outside Outsider Artist and diary writer doomed to the dark shadows of obscurity, mocked by the masses who throw empty cardboard boxes at me (that’s lucky) and laugh HA HA HA HA in my face. I say this because I have noticed that traffic to my blog has dropped dramatically, I think Charles at GCHQ may have a hand in this, apparently he is in a bad mood after finding out his investment of two million pounds in half a shark appears to have been a little impetuous.

The Ghost Writer made these long before that other chap did

I am off as it happens today to a local junior school later to do some art with the after school club who wish to create some themed artwork, possibly based on sixty years of the queen being the queen. Anyway right now I am doing other stuff so I will return a bit later (where did that sun go?)…….

Much Much later . . . . .

Yes I did my bit with the junior school kids, although I think they are a bit too keen I was thinking take our time draw a silhouette on thick card cut it out all very sedate after all this is a five week project, but they were sort of off like mad things and had drawn all their animal shapes in about two minutes rather than an hour. . . . . . . . . . AH DAMN that was not meant to happen, it appears these kids are like super bouncy and over enthusiastic, I don’t think that ever happened to me but then cyberspace is a far more cynical world. After all here in cyberspace there is an old saying Walls Have Ears…… (Hello Charles and Quentin). 

Steven Spielberg, the making of Tinker Tailor Rob Z Spy, and monitoring social media

As my very long term followers will be aware I have had many run ins over the past nearly three years with forces that lurk in the shadows; dark forces that can sneak up on you and suck the brains out of even a fully grown antelope or brown bear, yes we are talking Zombies, Ooooooo no sorry we are talking Spies. Yes those men in the dark designer sunglasses who on a rainy day in Britain stand out like a sore thumb as they stumble about unable to see where they are going. Those of you who remember the Einstein Cube or the Jules Verne Pocket Oracle and Prophecy Machine will know of my many run ins with the CIA, MI6 and various other security forces including the KGB in the past. So I have to say that as the eccentric child of cyberspace using the world of social media to write my diary I must confess that the recent news that certain forces are monitoring the world of social media is not new to me. In fact I feel I may owe you all a bit of an apology for bringing them here in the first place.

If you think about it poor old Charles and his mate Quentin the back room boys at GCHQ, which if you Google tells you their address and telephone number, which is silly (hello chaps) who are monitoring all the chit chat of social media have a terrible job, just think how boring it must be to sit and monitor stuff without ever being allowed to make the odd comment on a Facebook page or follow the occasional blog making witty remarks or say even start your own blog chatting about life and stuff, Zombies and maybe take the cunning disguise of say an Eccentric Child and part time Pirate in the strange twilight world of Cyberspace, lets face it spies, particularly the back room boys will work much better if they are happy in their work, and a bit of interaction with the punters is just the ticket.

Anyway as Charles and his mate Quentin would say themselves if you can’t trust a man with an original portrait of President Putin, (a gift from the Kremlin) hanging on his wall then who can you trust. And as I have said elsewhere tonight when the nice Mr Steven Spielberg makes the film Tinker Tailor Rob Z Spy from my rather popular serialized diaries the security forces will deny everything, well everyone except Quentin and Charles who may be allowed to be extras in a dramatic scene where the hero and his trusty Lemmings confront the arch villain, a man called Moriarty who has accidently run onto the wrong set.