The World of the Wedding Party

I have returned, it was very hot again today and I have been outside painting some walls Moroccan Blue because we are having Moroccan weather at present so rather than the expense of going to Morocco we are making Morocco here.

Now I am sure you will want to know how I got on at the wedding yesterday which had perfect wedding weather particularly as the wedding reception was held at Mr Charlie’s and Miss Jane’s house, well in his garden. It is a large garden which was just as well because it had a huge marquee in the garden for everyone to eat in and then for the band to play and folk to leap about in.

Mr Charlie and His Daughter

Miss L the Bride 

I also learnt that it is very bad form when the vicar says “is there anyone here who can think of any reason why these two people can not be joined in holy matrimony”, (or words to that effect) to try and think of good reasons. Well no one said anything and I have always been told at school it is best to at least try and answer the question rather than leave it blank. And you are not meant to put forward six reasons and I was told being a Zombie does not stop someone getting married.

Mr Charlie Miss Jane and their son (who was not getting married)

On meeting the brother of the groom it is also not a great idea to say to the bride “Just as well you are not marrying the ugly one” when you then find out that the brother of the groom is his identical twin.

All in all though it was a very good wedding and everyone was happy, and I got to see the old climbing frame that the Ghost Writer made with Mr Charlie many moons ago and also the tree that poor old Bongo the dog was buried under after the Ghost Writer ran him down slightly by accident, also many moons ago.

One thing we have all learnt is that the countries security forces will read all this because it now appears they are the main users of social media, I did say to everyone as I was taking pictures that they should smile because MI6 would be assessing if they looked a bit shifty or not, and in general people look less shifty if they smile (apparently I don’t look less shifty, so I am told).

The Climbing Frame

Ooooo Fish and chips for tea tonight YUM although the cat complained about the fish. . . . Typical cat.

Ooooooo finally Hello MI6, the swallow flies in the corn field while my umbrella sings to the wood pigeon (I think) or in other words the microdot is in the wood shed . . . . . AH sorry but this code book is rubbish. 

The Marquee

No one ever photographs the photographer (but I do)

     

Seeing a man about a dog, French Fancies and Weddings and MI6

Today has been hot very hot, this is classic British weather not helped by the fact Dad’s weather machine has a jammed transit pin in the precipitated vacuum housing, so the one thing the weather machine can no longer do is precipitate; something I am sure some of you will say is probably for the best.  It has been a funny day of not much happening due to heat but then on the other hand I did not appear to have a lot of time free to not do much in, what with trips to places to see a man about a dog. I was not really seeing a man about a dog, I am using the well known saying to imply I went off to do things that are not very exciting and thought you don’t really want to know all that so I used the old saying . . . . See a man about a dog . . . . Which brings us back to where I started?

I have eaten a couple of French Fancies today (as in Mr Kiplings) and drank tea, I also used a hose pipe to battle some sort of squidgy monster thing that was trying to cross the Zombie defence ditch in the early evening and I ate another French Fancy.

Dad was/is dead pleased today as the solar panels on the roof have generated 27.5 Kilowatts of power, which is enough apparently to bring his half rabbit half android small furry experimental Zombie cute pet with pointy teeth into life for up to two days so a few more days like today and it will be scurrying about the garden just like the real thing (obviously the real one does not have a smoky bottom and sing old music hall songs.

I do have to warn you all that I may not be able to write my diary tomorrow because I am off to a wedding along with the Ghost Writer; it is an old friend of the Ghost Writers daughter who is getting married and the Ghost Writers friend is not keen on weddings. So we are going along to cheer him up and wave at cameras and stand in the wrong place during the official wedding photos so that in years to come people will look at the photo album and say Who are those weird people standing in front of the bride.

Anyway if I am not here tomorrow then you will be reading this still, but at least you know why.

I will return, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon to a cinema near you (sort of).

Ooooooo yes apparently the security forces (MI6, CIA, MI5, FBI and the other one we dont talk about) are all reading my Blog as they say it must be some cunning code........ 


The world is full of interesting blogs some of which sit quietly in the darkest corners of cyberspace  . . . . . . .WAITING

More Evidence of Aliens (good stuff this time)

I know what you all thinking . . . . . You are all thinking what a lovely day so it is just not possible that Rob Z Tobor and the slightly eclectic group of misfits plus the odd ferret that represent his class in the grand cyber academy; his place of education, could accidently run into Aliens. Well you see even on a lovely day like today there are some things you just cant assume, and one of them is that while on the annual compulsory orienteering race that the geography teacher insists we all do on particularly sunny days (while he sits in the sun at the finish) Freddie and his ferrets will not stumble over alien remains, so they did… WELL COOL. We carried the alien remains back to the school although it was harder than we thought as Mr Jones kept trying to steal them and said it was unfair as he was the one who had spent years in the woods running about in the nude trying to communicate with strange beings.

At school the headmaster said the remains smelt and would not allow them into the school, I think it might have been Freddie’s Ferrets that smelt a bit, it has been a very hot day and they were eating curry and beans last night (a ferret favourite so I am told).  Anyway I have photographed the evidence so that you can see this is all bona fide evidence of alien activity on Earth, and I have even drawn the missing bits to give you an idea of what it may have looked like.

 In other news back home we have discovered a mysterious path that leads to another path which then leads to another path with then leads back to the first mysterious path. These secret paths were hidden by the three bishops who I chopped up the other day.

And there was also a curved digital message in the field next door from the aliens when I returned home, a clincher of their existence if ever there was one. The message according to Mr Jones said :-

Please return the remains of our comrade Stron G Armkneel (sounds Scandinavian to me), the first alien to step foot on Earth and who sadly was unable to return to our planet. And foolishly  went native breeding with ape like creatures, despite being warned it was a bad move and it would all end in tears two million years later……………..

Anyway I am not sure how to tell them Freddie’s Ferrets sort of ate the remains as they were a bit peckish after the annual compulsory orienteering race, I think we can safely blame the geography teacher, it was all his fault.      

The Micro God of Beaches, ropes and locks

It has been a funny old day, the weather here was very overcast and sort of OK but not like yesterday or tomorrow (I have kicked the weather machines side panel) hot and sunny, and my day has sort of ticked along with the usual quantum physics and woodwork plus the rather more useful lesson of locksmithing,  and the skills of unlocking locks that prefer to remain locked. Of course this is a huge area of expertise because not only does it include the humble padlock but of course there are many unseen mathematical locks, things that appear to be physically locked to something by forces unknown.  

For example Miss I and Mr S have told me that they were unable to collect a huge rope from the beach because if was locked to the beach by fate and the Micro God of Beaches, and apparently it was also very heavy.

But using the great skills of Locksmithing it would be possible to untangle the forces that held the huge rope to the beach and transport it many miles to me, where I would look with wonder upon the huge rope while the massed masses looking would say WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH THAT . . . . . . . . . And I would reply AH?

People do things like this all the time when folk stumble on artefacts of wonder which are of no practical use what so ever, they ask but what do you intend to do with it. But you see this is what makes us humans what we are, the ability to appreciate the great possibilities of completely useless items. Would my diary exist if it was an item of pure functionality with no need for the frivolity of imagination and unpractical reams of gobbledegook, you see my diary is just like this huge monster rope (Note Mr S’s shoes by the rope) of no practical use and frayed at the end. Well when I say of no practical use I lie as it is my long term memory,  well when I say long term I mean more that three days ago.

Farwell rope I hope the world treats you fairly and does not just string you along . . . . . . . . . .HAHAHAHHAH hahah ah ah haah hahha hah ah hahahhahah hahahah hahahahhah ahhah ahahhahahahaha

it’s a joke but Knot a good one  HaAHAHAHAH ah hah ah ah ah ha hah ah hah ah ah ha hah ah ha hah ah ah ah ahha a   

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