Ghosts, Goats and Gannets . . . . . (Be Warned this fairy tale includes Guillemots)

The Slightly eccentric A to Z blogging adventure of unknown and rather unpopular Modern fairy tales

2013

G Ghosts, Goats and Gannets

Granny Grumpy was a Grumpy Granny eating gruel and grumbling about ghosts, goats and gannets galloping about in the garden ruining her greens, Granny Grumpy liked fresh Greens in her Gruel. One day the Ghosts Gannets and Goats said “why are you so grumpy granny you were always good and gave us grapes and gooseberries”. Granny Grumpy said “My grandchildren do not get   to see me due to the great gargantuan distance away they live”. The  Ghosts, Gannets and Goats said “Gosh we will help, we will go and get your grandchildren as a group”, So the goats let the Grandchildren sit on their backs while the gannets guided then back to Granny Grumpy; Guarded by the ghosts on the great journey.

“Golly Gosh” . . . . . .  shouted the Grandchildren as they saw Granny, and “Greta, Georges and Gwenn” . . . . . shouted Granny Grumpy and all was good as they ate Gruel grapes greens and gooseberries and drank gallons of ginger beer in the garden and the gannets, Ghosts and goats gambled (sorry gambolled) about grinning.

Then a great gathering of Guillemots gathered giving no indication of their ghastly plan, then as there numbers grew and grew they swooped, and they ate the ghosts and then they ate the gannets and they ate the goats.

Granny Grumpy and the grandchildren were gobsmacked but then the gathering of guillemots ate the grandchildren and Granny Grumpy and the grapes and the gooseberries, gruel, greens and ginger beer before going; and everything was gone and no one lived happily ever after, except the guillemots, although they do say you will never see a happy guillemot in your garden.

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The A to Z Challenge, a day off . . . . . . HA I laugh in the face of adversity

As you know (on the blog) today being Sunday it is a day off from the long pitter-patter of tiny letters towards Z on the great A to Z challenge, and is my way I have of course entered into the  true spirit of it as I write the slightly eccentric A to Z of Fairy tales. But as I said today is a day off and so I am bringing my diary up to date with the events of the week, which I have to say has finally seen a slight improvement in the weather with sun although not much heat. I have also started doing one or two of my allocated tasks, painting straight lines although it is not easy on walls with rubbish edges, I have complained to the walls about it, but to use the well known saying ‘It is like talking to a brick wall’, but then it is a brick wall . . . . . . . . AH mum says I’m an IDIOT and I should be painting not typing.  I have also done a little tongue and grove wood panelling in another location, although I have got distracted and have not quite finished that.

I have also discovered that I can not draw a guillemot, I was planning to draw one million of them for the letter G fairy tale on Monday, but as I cant draw that well, and to put it bluntly am not sure what a guillemot looks like and cant be bothered to find out it is a bit tricky. And I have been told that goats and green beans are not part of their diet normally and they prefer fish but then fish don’t fly gliders and goats do….

One small technical error in trying to complete this foolish task of writing the greatest A to Z of fairy tales known to man is I am also drawing pictures for each letter so I have stupidly doubled my work.  It is amazing how many of the blogs involved in the A to Z are from writers and budding writes who dream of writing the greatest A to Z of fairy tales, although they cant because I am, but I do find it interesting that given the day off they don’t then write anything on their blogs or attempt to draw a guillemot as one IDIOT will be a bit later. I am also doing my bit an trying to visit as many of the other blogs as I can without going gaga and so far have looked at a whole 363 blogs (mum has said IDIOT again).

OK I am off to paint straight lines again now, did you know guillemots don’t have straight lines although they do fly in straight lines. When I say fly in straight lines I do not mean they are in a straight line and flying, I refer to the way they fly, it would form a straight line if someone followed them with a pencil and joined up the dots so to speak……. 

   

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Florence the florescent fire Faerie from Fife

The Slightly eccentric A to Z blogging adventure of unknown and rather unpopular Modern fairy tales

2013

F Florence the florescent fire Faerie from Fife

Florence the florescent fire Faerie from Fife was the founder of the fellowship of fairies and fairy tales, her finesse and fitness were as famous as Franks fish bar in the fevered frenzy of the streets of Falkirk.  One day Florence flew off on a flight of fancy to visit far away places and found herself in France.  But French fairies are a feisty lot and would fling fruit at Florence the florescent fire Faerie from Fife who then flew on to Florida thinking those French fairies are fearsome.

 In Florida she met Florida’s furry fairies renowned for their fastidious use of fluoride but for reasons no one could fathom they thought Florence the florescent fire Faerie from Fife was trying to steal their fluoride so they also threw fruit at her so Florence the florescent fire Faerie from Fife then flew to Finland where Finish frog fairies flitted about from lily pad to lily pad eating flies. How frightful thought Florence the florescent fire  Faerie from Fife who decided to fly on to Frankfurt but it was freezing and no fun so she caught the ferry to the Philippines due to a faulty map then on to the Pharaoh islands, it was a very faulty map. But she realised she was home sick although it may have been the strange foreign food making her feel a bit fickle.

So Florence the florescent fire Faerie from Fife returned to Fife where her father was so pleased to she her he said “fit forrny fasste fon ferry fickle fin the fool ferm few faggly Faerie foooo”, and to this day no one has a clue what he meant but they all lived happily ever after

As Freddie once said to his Ferret “Fool the freat as fank the fiddle”, and you can’t argue with that.   

A to Z 2012 Letter F

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Esmeralda and Edward

The Slightly eccentric A to Z blogging adventure of unknown and rather unpopular Modern fairy tales

2013

E Esmeralda and Edward

Esmeralda was an ENCHANTED electric eel who lived in the Emperors Elaborately enamelled pond encrusted with emeralds (the pond not the eel). But one day Edward the Egret landed and said I spy with my little Eye  . . . . . . . DINNER

And ate Esmeralda the ENCHANTED ELECTRIC eel all up  

The End . . . . . . .

AH DAMN . . . . . that was a bit short, which strangely is exactly what Edward the Egret said after eating Esmeralda.

A to Z 2012 Letter E

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