The Storm and a Duck

Many parts of Britain have been enduring storms today, up in Scotland it has been very blowy on the west coast and I think the top recorded wind speed was about 142mph. Although quite a few trees have been destroyed and it appears that at least two folk have been killed, it has to be said folk up north are making less of a fuss in this storm than the BBC did when the last storm was down south. Last time here, there was no wind what so ever, but this time it was different and although we were very much on the fringes of this storm it was certainly rather bouncy outside, with the odd really powerful gust. This resulted in a few bits of wood being blown about and a smashed large garden pot and the weather vane vanishing off the roof. All the sheep have vanished from the fields next door too but I think that may be connected to the man with the sheepdog and a large trailer.

The evening sky tonight as the sun set 

(well it looks peaceful enough)

 The next big worry in several places is a tidal storm surge; I really wish the BBC could report this stuff without making it sound like its going to be the end of the world at times. I think they need to wait and see how bad it is first before they commit themselves to a doomsday option. This will not affect us (the tide), we are rather a long way from the coast and if the sea reaches us then it really is doomsday.

I have bought a Christmas present today so a bit of a shock for BBC news although apparently they have no interest in this even though I managed to do it online. I should have bought a fish, I notice it is possible to buy a battery powered fish that looks and swims just like a real fish although it tastes rubbish.  But the idea of buying a fish online (HAH HAH HAH HAH HA HAH HAH Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha) is slightly amusing OK only very slightly. It’s a sustainable fish joke HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH AH HAH HAH HAH AH ha ha ha.

I have also moved a mirror a small distance and took a picture of the sky today.   OOOOoooo yes I also had to check that the Steam Powered Duck was safe when it was blown off her pond, she was. . . . . . 

A Visit, a Wind, a Meal, a Glove and the Loch Ness Monster

The weather is cold, I guess I will be saying this a lot at present as winter sneaks up my legs and into my brain. Which in turn means I am not entirely paying attention to the things I should be. One good thing is I have discovered that it is possible to type almost as well in gloves as it is not wearing gloves, and in my case that really means I make loads of mistakes in both cases.

I went to see Mr P in the hospital today, I said both to Mr P and to our friend Mr M that I would pop in while Mr P was still in hospital as he only has a couple of visitors and he has now been in hospital just over a year. The local council seem to be messing him around and don’t seem capable of getting his house in a fit state for him to move into, well it has only been a year so far?

I have heard on the grape vine, another silly saying as communicating on grape vines is seriously flawed (which may be the point of the saying I guess) that it is going to be very windy through the middle of the UK that is the proper middle not the Midlands so sort of south of Edinburgh and just north of Chester. There is some talk of trees and ducks having problems and fake Santa’s may have false beards blown off resulting in traumatized small children who will grow up with a fear of the wind at Christmas parties.

Esmeralda who has featured very little in my diary lately has decided to make a Santa trap to prove once and for all whether Father Christmas is real or not, I have to say the large razor sharp steel jaws she is making in metalwork do not look entirely friendly and her plans do remind me a little of her attempt at catching the Loch Ness Monster with a harpoon gun and depth charges. Even now opinion is divided as too whether her conclusive proof  was  the monster or 23 fish suppers dropped by a passing hiker who slipped and fell into the Loch as a result of a very loud bang from high explosives going off at a depth of 500ft.

We have just returned from a lovely meal out where we also met a man with his car slightly upside down making it tricky to drive to say the least.

Fairy Lights and the Theory of Time

The year appears to rapidly heading towards its end, I always think it seems to speed up at the end of the year and I have a feeling I am not alone in this as it is quite common at this time of year to hear folk saying OOOOooo I just do not know where the year has vanished too, something more profound than it may at first appear. Because as time rapidly races towards the end of the year rather than vanish which seems unlikely (things never just vanish), all that time is still there, it is just we can’t see it as we have passed into another instant of time. That would mean that the point where I started to write this post and the point where I finished it would still exist equally just not at the same point in time. Although every point in time (OK time that has already existed) still exists.  Of course new time is different but where that comes from is a whole new ball game as the old saying goes, although it is hopefully not a game, I would be annoyed if I am trapped in a game, and it does not involve a ball (well I don’t think so).

Anyway what I was planning to say before time distracted me, something else I am not alone in having problems with, it is quite common to hear folk say Oooooo look at the time I must go. When I say they look at the time, as it happens they don’t, they look at a watch or similar device based on the basic principle of a fixed linear movement of a thing of some sort, so we say a watch hand takes one minute to travel from here to here? But that whole ideal as we can now see is in tatters, basing time on linear movement might be convenient but is probably totally wrong.

AH yes distracted again by time, what I was planning to say was I saw my first Christmas lights today  . . . . . . Phew time does fly  . . . . . . Yet another saying that if true changes even more stuff and I am confused enough already.  The one thing this does mean however is that the slightly modified old saying we use here of . . . . . Fairy Lights are for life not just for Christmas . . . . has more going for it as a statement of fact than it might seem to at first glance, in our case these lights mean we can see the front door to put the key in to unlock it to get in. Not always easy when you are dressed up in a large red coat with fur trim wearing a false beard and have spent the night grovelling about in chimneys and trying to keep a reindeer on the correct route because he cant use the SatNav (that’s GPS to those of you not in Britain).

OK what happened today . . . . . AH DAMN I have run out of time (well OK not entirely true please read above).

The Return of Sunday's Past, IKEA and things that go Bleep at Christmas

Sundays here are starting to return to the way Sundays used to be a long time ago, part of this is due to the fact it is dark damp and cold at this time of year so no one likes leaping out into the day much. OK Mr Jones will, the slightest hint of an alien invasion force from a far distant planet with huge terrifying battle machines, the like of man has yet to conceive and he is out in the woods, naked and running about with his I AM YOUR FRIEND sign. But he is an exception, most folk are keeping their heads down and at present are thinking O my god its December what I am I going to get everyone for Christmas.

Actually while on that subject . . . .   O my god its December what I am I going to get everyone for Christmas.

Here is cyberspace you would think that Sundays would be much like any other day, but no it has also become very quiet in the murky world of social media on Sunday, although I can’t see why that should happen. Maybe my greatest fear has been realized; the entire world’s population has gone to IKEA or as Mr Jones likes to call it . . . . . The flimsy facade of aliens in a cunning plan to take over planet Earth.  . . . . . Yes he is convinced those little allen keys are in fact eggs that contain a small creature that will bore into your head and that will be the end of you. Well provided you pass the alien intelligent test first, the building of flat pack furniture, you see they plan to enslave all the less intelligent folk who fail the test, who will then become dinner.  . . . . it is a lose lose situation so best just to buy G plan  . . . . OOOOOOoooo hang on no Mr Jones says aliens . . .

While on the subject of Christmas and panic I don’t know if it is just me but once upon a time something new would turn up at Christmas something interesting that would keep us all interested. Like Steam Powered Goldfish, The Clockwork Invisible Man, Make your own Luminous Barrel Organ or a chemistry set that would make foaming pink stuff that could talk Swedish and ate pencils or even a humble reproduction 1950’s robot that would walk a short distance spin its head a bit then fall over. However today none of these things are available if you go hunting the vast voids of cyberspace for ideas for Christmas it seems to consist of the latest touch screen phone or the latest touch screen iPad thing or a games console. This is not what we want when it comes to the crunch what we want (well us chaps anyway) is a thing with wheels and gears and things we can unscrew and tinker with, and hissing noises and little motors. You would think with all the technology about these days someone would make a nice smallish not too expensive thing that did nothing useful, but sort of whizzed and chirped and looked like it was designed in the Victorian era. . . . . . . Hang on that sounds like me……..