Z is for APPLE?

The Slightly eccentric A to Z blogging adventure of unknown and rather unpopular Modern fairy tales

2013

Z       Z is for APPLE?

If you are saying . . . . WHAT? It means just one thing you did not read A . . . . . . Naughty

So I will repeat some of it here.

The apple is a fruit that grows on trees (I think), it might be green or red or green and red or even a sort of yellowish green. They are often used to make pies and are useful to hide drugs in that make princesses sleep for a very long time or until some interfering prince comes along and ruins things,  ooo yes and a Wise Handsome (OK grumpy) Writer.

The princess of course is Princess Zelda, and the prince is Prince Zillion, and the Apple has been to put it bluntly, zapped by the Wicked Witch of the West who is still angry that the Writer ran off in the letter W, and the writer is ME.

Our tale starts in the Zoo at the Zebra enclosure when Princess Zelda is given an apple as a treat by the wicked witch disguised as a Zoo Keeper. The Princess then very conveniently eats the apple near a bed in a big glass room and falls asleep. The spell can only be broken when she is kissed by a Prince, or so we are lead to believe but then you cant believe every thing you read in fairy tales, particularly alphabetical ones.

Then one day a prince is passing, Prince Zillion who sees the sleeping Princess “I will kiss her and we will live happily ever after in my castle near Zanzibar or was it Zürich” says the prince. So he kisses Princess Zelda and waits.

Then Princess Zelda snored ZZZZZZZZ ZZZzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzz………… 

“That’s a loud snore” said Albert the Abyssinian Automatic Alabaster Android as he was passing on his way to see King Alfonso the Architect.

Prince Zillion sighed and said “yes”.

And Princess Zelda snored ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZZZZ

Three Biggish Brown Bears stopped and said “that’s a loud snore as they waited for there porridge to cool”.

Prince Zillion sighed and said “yes”

And Princess Zelda snored ZZZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Then a cuddly Cat passed looking for a Canary to eat and the Cuddly Cat meowed and ran away when Princess Zelda snored because it was very loud.

Then Doris the Dragon came along looking for tins of meat and said “Gosh that is a very loud snore”.

 Prince Zillion sighed and said “yes and it appears to be getting louder”.

And Princess Zelda snored ZZZZZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZZZ ZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz

Then Edward the Egret was frightened away as he thought to himself oooooooo I just fancy an electric eel for dinner.

Then Florance the fire Fairy, some Ghosts, Goats and Gannets flew past and they all said “WOW that is the loudest snore we have ever heard”.

Prince Zillion sighed and said “yes I agree”

And Princess Zelda snored ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZ

Then Henrietta the Happy Harpie, an Indigo Iguana, Jack and Jill and King Kevin, Lucinda the Little Leprechaun and her Leopard all passed and said “Was that thunder or an earthquake”?

Prince Zillion sighed and said “No it is Princess Zelda snoring”

And Princess Zelda snored 

ZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZZZ ZZZzzzzzzzz

Then a Mole and a Mouse passed and said nothing but looked knowingly at each other, closely followed by the Nemesis of the Night, an Osprey and an Ocelot, the Pie Piper of Pontefract and a very Quick Queen holding a very very very Round Rabbit. They all stopped and said “that is a very very very loud snore”…..

Prince Zillion sighed and said “yes yes yes yes I know”

And Princess Zelda snored 

ZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZ ZZZZZ ZZZ ZZ

Then a large Snake called Sydney hisssssssssed and a Tiger muttered it was time for bed and the Undead Ukulele players of Utopia ran about chasing a football, which amused a Vole and a Vampire as they both said “Vootball”, but off in the distance they spotted a Zombie holding a sign staggering towards them and they looked at each other, laughed hysterically and shouted “ A Vombie . . . . . . HAH HAH HAHH HAH HAH HAH HAH AHH HAHAHH HHa”

Prince Zillion sighed

And Princess Zelda snored

ZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZZZ Z ZZzzzzzzzz

Then the Wicked Witch of the West said “Ha Ha, I have sorted you this time, Princess Zelda will never be woken up by a Prince”; as a pirate passed with a map that had a large X on it, His parrot saying “Whose a pretty ZOMBIE then”.

And Princess Zelda snored

ZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZZZ ZZZzzzzzzzz

Prince Zillion sighed yet again and said “I have had enough of this, Princess Zelda is very very noisy”, and so he ran off with Yasmin of the Yemen and they lived happily ever after on a yellow yacht.

And Princess Zelda snored 

ZZZZZ ZZ ZZZZ ZZZZ ZZZZ ZZZZZ ZZ Zzzzz zzzz

But a passing Zombie holding a sign Kissed Princess Zelda who woke up and said, “oooooooo you’re handsome”.

The Wicked Witch of the West was not happy and said “that’s not meant to happen; I’ll get that Writer for this . . . . . . And what does that sign say anyway”

Princess Zelda looked up at the sign and said………….

“The END”

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