Newton Newton III . . . . The A to Z of Slightly Strange Unknown Victorian Inventors and Explorers

Newton Newton III

Newton Newton III (known to his friends as Ken) had been born into a poor mining family, his father (Newton Newton II) moving to London after he lost his job in the mines when new technology was introduced in the form of the Hutt Hydraulic Hammer. But Newton Newton III was an upbeat young man who loved to explore nature and was convinced that humans had evolved from an earlier less intelligent species on the planet. He often observed the dog eat dog lifestyle of the poverty of the Victorian ghettos of London and how man would battle with dogs to get the scraps of the well off in order to survive, recording the details in his many journals. Unfortunately this led Newton Newton III (Ken) to believe man was descended from dogs which ultimately resulted in his theory being dropped in favour of that of Charles Darwin,

He did realise however that he did not have to go on The Grand Tour to Greece, Persia or Venice or hunt for the source of the Amazon or Nile or climb huge mountains in order to discover new species of plants, animals, pigeons or insects, Publishing several books based on his own ideas and observing the many aspects of wildlife missed by his more affluent contemporaries in more exotic climates.

In fact today several of his books have become classics of there time proving good science is not all about money, these include the following publications

The streams of the Bradford Suburbs

The hedgerows of Port Talbot

The source of the old hill road to Stockdale

The many ponds of Luton

Lyons in London . . . A Guide to Wildlife in London Café Culture.

After discovering a new species of bright red frog in the ponds of Luton Newton Newton III became known as Red Ken. Then as he got older he went into politics having seen the poverty of many parts of Britain eventually becoming head of the GLC (Greater London Council), but his first passion was always wildlife and exploring the backwaters of Great Britain.    

The Man in the Moon, Strange Worlds and a Round Trip

A round trip today to get tiny things eventually arriving back home with the tiny things that we set off on the round trip to get; that you see is the nature of a round trip you arrive back where you started even if the overall shape of your trip in not round but more triangular. You seldom see folk saying I am just popping out on a triangular trip I will not be long, partly because some clever folk would ask if it was an equilateral triangle and then that would get you all flustered and you would end up forgetting why you needed to go our in the first place. Anyway in short what I am saying is we popped out to get some small stuff this morning that we needed.

Right now at this very moment I am pondering whether or not my drumming partner is due to turn up tonight or not, he has whizzed off to exotic parts of the world lately so our drumming schedule is out of sync, much like myself since 1972 when my watch stopped and no one told me for at least a week. I was a bit younger then, although I still am or I could not be the eccentric child of cyberspace could I; and I just assumed that time had stopped. Well lets face it no one tells you about things like that when you are younger and back in about the early 1950’s quite frankly I found the entire idea of time rather alien which is rather ironic because Mr Jones tells me Aliens are using me as a standard unit of time. I am not sure I approve of being a unit of time, what happens if I want to slow down a bit or even stop for a while….

Oooooo yes while on the subject of Aliens it appears that a large space Gecko has eaten the man in the moon, it was his own fault he should have never ventured onto the surface for a closer look at the beast.  I have electronically enhanced my drawing of this event which I was able to view from my trusty three and a half inch reflector telescope, sadly there was little I could do to help. After all he was on the moon and it was a very large space Gecko and you would hardly want me to make stuff up and say they became friends and danced about as a confused cow passed by would you . . . . . . . . . (AH DAMN).

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Pizza Slice, The Dark Creature of the Undergrowth, Aliens and Elsewhere

I have not achieved a great deal today, it has been that sort of day I looked at a little job involving some tongue and groove panelling but did not have the things I needed, so sort of waved the various bits about shook my head a lot pointed and said OOOOO sorry madam it needs a new thermitechnic screw adjuster like all good plumbers and then said I would be back two weeks next Thursday. However mum said I was not a plumber I was an IDIOT and sent me out to do things elsewhere, but I knew where here was and I knew where there was but I could not find elsewhere. Despite asking everyone I ran into (I say ran into I was walking and did not make any physical contact) such as the Banshees and the Lemmings of Petrograd, who were playing leap frog ( Lemmings, leap frog . . . . .HAH HAHAHHAHAHH HAH ha hah ah hah ah ahahhah ha ha ha) a few Zombies, a few Cows, a Raven, The Dark Creature of the Undergrowth, Mr Jones, Esmeralda and Freddie who have formed a new group called ‘Watching Alien Invasion Tactics’ or WAIT for short. Apparently Mr Jones often chases aliens through the woods shouting WAIT  . . . . . . take me to your leader.

Hang on what was I saying  . . . . . . AH YES elsewhere; when I asked everyone I was looking for elsewhere they would generally scratch their heads ask if I meant here and when I said no they would suggest over there but I was not looking for there I was looking for elsewhere. I spent a lot of time doing that until I worked out I had been here there and everywhere, although not elsewhere. You can see how a chaps day can vanish like sand through the fingers of a little old ladies hand when perusing such a task, strangely it is the sort of task us chaps will do for hours and women tend not too even for five minutes, although I don’t know why?

In other news I noticed on the news that a man who I believe was a captain of Star Trek although not Captain Kirk (the real captain) was going on about never eating a pizza slice before even though he is now seventy, although he has eaten pizza. Now call me an IDIOT but me and the Ghost Writer who is well old, are well confused what is a pizza slice if it is not a pizza, If either of use go out a restaurant and order a pizza we want the whole thing not a bit of it.  As I say the poor old Ghost Writer (note the word OLD) and I don’t understand what they were talking about.

Oooo I was a bit rushed for a picture tonight so I photographed my dinner (I know it is a bit healthy looking) and it is not pizza.