Zombies, Flower Shows and Speed Limits

Yes sorry its an old picture today 

Cos I have been at a flower show

Well I have survived Sunday at the flower show where I was doing my bit as the go between, between the two parts. One part being the flowers in the village church and the other being the tea, coffee, cake and sandwiches in the village hall. It is hard apparently to find a go between these two buildings as they are on opposite sides of the road, and although very close to each other in a small sleepy village, our small sleepy village does not have a speed limit. So crossing the road can be a bit scary as folk passing through in cars look at the advisory 30mph speed limit sign and then drive through at 60mph plus. It is very inconsiderate of them indeed some have suggested that it might be due to the large beware of the Zombies sign I put up, well that and the two large life like Zombies placed near our one road junction holding axes (that’s the zombies not the junction holding the axes). I thought it best to alert passers by to the possible risk of Zombie attacks. These things always seem to start in small rural communities and it is best to be prepared.

Much to my surprise the village raised nearly two thousand pounds in all which is for the local church. I did suggest that we could make models of the Undead rising out of the ground in the church yard to slow down the motorists but some church folk were thinking it will make matters worse and the vicar did have a look of disapproval. But we gave the vicar huge amounts of cake and biscuits meat and other stuff. So next time he may be a little more Undead friendly or the vicar could be on double portions, he will certainly feel Undead with all that in him.

I have not spotted an alien in the Commonwealth Games yet but that is because of life and the complexities of getting through it in a rational and easy going way.  Involving as few trips across roads where folk are going too fast and seem rather sceptical about Zombies or even ordinary folk meandering along in a chilled and relaxed way.  I think folk need to learn life is not for rushing . . . . . unless running away from a Zombie holding a large axe near a road junction or the Undead are rising in the church yard. . . . . . . . . . . . . . AH DAMN.

Ooooo it was not quite so hot today. . . . PHEW.

And I saw a frog.

The Great Road Stealing Conspiracy, the dark side of snow

Life is returning to normal as the roads sort of get cleared although the Ghost Writer who was meant to head off to work today said that he could not make it due to the wrong sort of roads.  Wrong sort of roads? It appears that according to the Ghost Writer the roads that have emerged from beneath the snow are in fact different roads to the ones that were there before. He says that he is convinced these are not the same roads and that they are inferior in quality and so they can’t be trusted.  It appears this is all part of a huge government conspiracy and that they have hired some mad bloke with a weather machine and no scruples (where did that word come from very odd) who for a large sum of money will hide all the roads under snow so they can be stolen. Strangely everyone looked at dad.

I can here you all saying BUT WHY (or was it HE’S MAD), the Ghost Writer is saying that due to the economic climate of Britain which is apparently also cold wet and covered in snow the government have hatched a diabolical plan to sell all our decent roads to China who are selling so many cars (posh ones) to the Chinese people that they are unable to make enough  good roads themselves and are buying up roads from struggling economy’s lead by unscrupulous leaders prepared to make a few pounds at any cost. So every time it snows a nano force of nano-bots replace another decent road with a cheap one full of potholes; even as I type the M6 is on its way to China and a replacement M6 has got speed restricts and bollards all over it to disguise its inferior quality. Apparently if you look under the M6 it has Made in Britain stamped on it, yes it appears in another diabolical twist in the story the new inferior roads are being made by  British teenagers on a work creation scheme using old Starbucks coffee beans and coffee cups, all part of our governments youth training scheme. And in order to save money on pensions because for reasons the government cant understand pensioners are demanding money for things like food, the government have agreed to the limited use of pensioners are hardcore.

Ooooooo what did I do today . . . . . . . . AH yes I remember now so that’s good.  

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