Why Pluto Killed Cyberspace and my Triumphant Return

It appears that all is not well in cyberspace, well when I say not well I mean I have lost the internet. OK if you are reading this then it means the internet has returned and all is well again. However if you are not reading this then it is possible that things are not working as they should.  Just imagine the world of cyberspace without me Rob Z Tobor it would not be the same. . . . If you are all having a party and talking about me behind my back I will not be pleased even if I don’t know about it because someone has nicked my broadband.

So here I am typing away in an optimistic way assuming that everything will be OK soon . . .  OK soonish, as its starting to get dark and all is still dead in the mystical world of cyberspace. It was OK until that satellite starting messing about around Pluto, maybe we humans have upset some sort of icy alien critter and they have decided it must be my fault. . . .  I can imagine some scientist saying. . . .  OOOOOoooo No you need to go and see that Rob Z Tobor he is always annoying aliens all the time. . . .  They say that because I have all these brilliant ideas and they are jealous, the world of science is full of jealousy and intrigue even if scientists insist they are all friends, which they are not.  

 

Anyway that’s it I am off now to phone a man who will probably be in an Indian call centre and who will tell me it must be the phone line in my house because BT equipment never goes wrong ever. And besides I am merely a member of the public and therefore an IDIOT.  Luckily I know that there is a house not far away using a BT hub and they also have had issues so they can’t blame me or an icy alien from the Planet Pluto either.  

It appears from the phone call with a disembodied mechanical voice on the phone that there is a major problem which will be fixed soon. . . . . . When I say soon I mean ages.

The as yet unknown Insect People of Saturn . . . . . Keep Watching the SKIES (sorry EYES)

The Ghost Writer has been in his grey office today pondering the strange world of IT, now before you all say hang on that got nothing to do with unknown things, that is not entirely true. You see he is going ga ga (as in loony, not the singer . . . .as I have said before) and so quite frankly has not got a clue what he is doing, so he spends most of his life in a state of unknown.  He is much happier like that, sometimes it is best not to know.

You are all no doubt all aware that in the last couple of days I have had close encounters with Vampire Moths and tonight I almost came  face to face with a large pale coloured spider. I say almost because it ran off and hid when I sneaked in to grab the camera. I have learnt I need to photograph everything or folk say things like O yes how big did you SAY; it stood four feet high and snarled at you……. Well if I wave a photo at them they go O MY GOD ITS HUGE KILL IT……. However the spider ran off so no picture only an artist’s impression . . . . . OK I may have got carried away a bit, but I have a theory.

Well all this insect activity made me think HANG ON maybe all these insects are just acting like pre-invasion scouts testing the lay of the land working out if us humans taste good before they (the Insect People of Saturn) attack us.  This now appears very likely to me because the small scouts (almost certainly nano robots) insects will be telling the main battle fleet in space that our main defences consist of nasty smelling aerosol sprays that are as good as useless, sticky strips of paper that catch the odd fly and scented candles which appear to choke the humans and for some reason even most humans can't understand clear plastic bags full of water hanging outside windows.  Yes it appears the insects may not only think we are weak and feeble but with rather tasty blood but also mad.

I have no plans to hang plastic bags full of water outside my windows. . . . No one is going to call me mad. Although it will make an interesting backdrop in the popular Steven Spielberg movie The Invaders from Saturn . . . . Based on a popular blog by Rob Z Tobor.