The Start of Master Plan Number 42

Today it has started and we all know what that is going to mean . . . . .  Well it will mean with some degree of certainty that I will be posting stuff slightly less than normal. OK yes that bit has already started, but that is because I have been busy trying to stay on top of the garden and also slowly but surely working towards moving the office. The first step of which was running a network cable to the new room, which I have now done I just need to sort the room out a bit, it is rather full of stuff. (a chaps work is never done).

Right back to the main point, as you all know I tend to post a picture of some sort with most of my blog posts, things I have drawn most of the time in the days or day previously. Well I have been requested by a friend to turn them into solid pictures that can hang on the wall and be poked at by folks fingers as they ponder and say things like . . . . Well what is that meant to be its Rubbish . . . .  The public are a fickle and unforgiving bunch who do have a habit of saying. . . . I could do that. . . . 

So today or strictly speaking last night I started to turn the first of these images into a tangible solid thing. They will be smallish, I don’t have the resources to create huge pictures, and will actually be slightly sort of three dimensional. A bit like the cardboard sculpture I have created on and off for years only flatter, anyway I have a plan and know exactly what I want these to look like. All I need to do is see if the plan works with the first picture.

So what this means is time is a bit limited I will find it impossible to post something on the blog every day as well as move the office and stay on top of the garden, it is well over half an acre and write poetry and get an exhibition together for hopefully the end of this year.  So if I do vanish for a few days then all is well; if I vanish for say three weeks then all is not well and I will need to be rescued from mad Zombies or something of a similar nature.

You can all blame my good friend Mr Charlie but I have told him he has to be my manager now and do all the organising as I am a temperamental and grumpy artist.  I still am not sure if this exhibition will happen, but I will give it my best and we will see how it all pans out, you know what life is like sometimes stuff works and sometimes stuff does not.      

2014 Brazil World Cup ( Football latest) . . . New Plot Exposed

Who would have believed it, just a couple of weeks ago the world was looking forward to a friendly competition among nations where everyone was equal and it was down to the skill and tactics of the various teams to do their best in a game of two halves. Then we had the shock that certain teams were playing Androids to enhance their chances of winning. This news was closely followed by the news that those countries without the technical know how to build fancy Androids were playing members of the Undead such as Vampires and other creatures of fiction. But despite all the headlines the public gritted their teeth and continued to support their favourite team, football is a bit like that folk follow teams despite almost everything.

Then it was discovered that behind the scenes the Androids of the Knights Templar are convinced that the World Cup is in fact The Holy Grail and are plotting to steal it and return it to its rightful place (A secret cavern deep underground I suspect). Adding to the ever growing complexity of the story it turns out an evil genius is controlling many of the Androids on the pitch, replacing the entire team of the Netherlands in order to get hold of the World Cup before the Androids of the Knights Templar, yes the Netherlands are programmed to win. (I hope you are still with this, the plot is going to get even more complex) This evil genius (me) will then use the World Cup (The Holy Grail) to rule the world.

However all has not gone to plan, my own plans got accidently leaked early and some of the Androids are not playing as well as expected, but it appears that there is yet another force attempting to influence the outcome of the 2014 Brazil World Cup.  It has been revealed in the last twenty four hours or so that Cameroon are using Voodoo to manipulate games. The famous Ma-Ginti Tribe of the Cameroon are using their powerful High Priests, the fabled Goat Men of the Ma Ginti to put spells on players, teams and even Evil Genius’s to ruin things in what is said to be a huge gambling scam.

This World Cup is getting more complex than a Raymond Chandler thriller, how is an Evil Genius meant to deal with both the Androids of the Knights Templar and Goat men performing Voodoo and singing their terrible songs.

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T stands for the film re-enactment of Mutiny on the Bounty?

We have reached T……. So weak two sugars and loads of milk, HAH AH AH Hahh ahhah hah ah, Yes OK I did that joke last TIME but I’m British we like TEA. 


So to my tale, we trekked to school today, through the torrid tundra in tepid tempertures traversing the tedious troughs in the turf and terrible thistles tearing at the tissue of our tender skin.  All adding to THE tenseness of trying to keep to a timetable, Trevor said we should have just taken a taxi to school. I told him such talk was Treason and he must not tinker  with team spirit. 

Then he said well what about a train or a tram or a tandem or even a Trampoline. That Clever Trevor is too clever for his own good.  Then he starts saying we are Trampling the terrain of The Tiny timid Tundra Termite and we should tread with care, and Tina then starts too, saying The Tiny timid Tundra Termite Oh no, we must terminate our Trek and treat ourselves to a taxi.

Its just like the film re-enactment of Mutiny on the Bounty on its way TO Tahiti with Clever Trevor as Mr Christian. THEN I found myself cast into the tundra, tossed aside like a twiggy twig with only a flask of tea and a Tuna sandwich and a Toucan for company. I thought it was a Toucan but I recognised the QUACK QUACK QUACK. So I TRAVELLED on my own (with a TOUCAN)  until the school clock tower Told me I was late, however I had triumphed, and told the head Teacher (yes yes the headmaster, I know) of the traitorous treatment of the crew of the Bounty. He listened Transfixed almost in a trance as I explained how I traced my path across the tundra tripping on tumbleweed and dealing with a turbulent tribe of yet undiscovered tourists from Transylvania who said they were looking for a Vampire Business (sorry I mean a Van Hire Business).

The TEACHER listened and after what appered to be a Terminally long time said………Twit and told me to go home……AH I did ask if he was planning to Hang THE Mutineers on THE HIGHEST HILL  but he said NO.

Anyway me and the Duck (sorry TOUCAN) QUACK TOOK a TAXI home and told Mum of our adventure but she said …………… IDIOT

I think she meant THE Duck sorry TOUCAN

QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK ..........Yes OK Duck I TAKE the hint

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The Air from the Earth, Blue Sky Thinking and keeping ones feet firmly on the ground

There was something strange this morning in the sky in fact it was so strange that I took a photograph of it. Yes yes I have been taking photographs of the sky again, but that is now my back up book, if those fools who should be publishing my book don’t. I am sure you will all have heard of the book THE EARTH FROM THE AIR full of photo’s of the ground from a hot air balloon well my back up book is called THE SKY FROM THE GROUND and will be full of photos of the sky from the ground.

So I can hear you all thinking do we care about this, just tell us what the thing in the sky was and we will make up our own minds how strange it was. It was (and I hope you are now poised on the edge of your seats) Blue Sky, is that a groan I hear from those of you who have been seeing blue skies for ages now. Some of us have lived with grey for what seems like for ever (several days anyway), it was still dam windy and that did not calm down until tonight

I told the Art teacher of my photographic project and my back up book concept and he said I was living in cloud cuckoo land and that i need to keep my feet firmly on the ground and then fell about laughing, still it was better than the dog who thought I need to do some more Blue Sky Thinking and reconsider it saying the book has no PLOT ………… OF LAND he then fell about laughing. Really I thought it was quite a good idea, even dad said it’s a good down too earth, solid as a rock idea although mum did shout IDIOT at him while he was rolling about laughing in the kitchen with the dog and Captain Flint the Parrot.

Still as I told the headmaster at the end of the school day they laughed at Christopher Columbus until he invented the spinning Jenny or was it the deep fat fryer. 

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