The Coronavirus observational guide . . .

Well I am starting to lose track a bit as one set of Covid-19 news merges into another and we continue to ponder the same issues over and over with no real solution to resolving how to escape lockdown. Clearly the only long term solution is a vaccine and there are encouraging steps being taken to develop one. In the meantime though the British government, like most governments is talking of small steps towards normality. What these steps will be is now being discussed and speculated upon almost 24/7 by the news media.

And there are plans to test a new smartphone app to keep track of folk and who they have been close to. It is rather dependant on everyone having a smartphone and downloading the app though or the idea is doomed. I do have a smartphone these days but I seldom turn it on as I carry it for emergencies such as the car breaking down.  Today I discovered two of the cars I have had flat batteries. That will teach me to own more cars than I need. It was not a plan to own three cars it sort of happened and that’s my excuse.  One is thirsty one is old and one is small so they do all work as a whole.

Did Volkswagen (VW) cheat . . . . . The Big Question Answered

It appears that poor old VW, (Volkswagen) have fallen foul of American car emission laws by doing a sneaky, but it may not be quite as bad as it appears at first. And as far as I can see Volkswagen themselves may have fallen on their sword a little too quickly, and I will explain why.

You see the world has pointed at them, well American have and shouted cheats cheats cheats stand in the naughty corner. . . and Volkswagen has slumped off stuck the naughty hat on and are feeling very down about it. Well they would do this because in many ways they are the equivalent of the school swot within the world of car manufacturing, something some of our American friends have always resented a bit what with one thing and another.

Now imagine you are the school swot and in an exam you are asked the question. . . . What do you know about the effects of Blue shift when dealing with light refraction in neon. . .  You think a second and then answer . . . I know nothing about the effects of Blue shift when dealing with light refraction in neon. . .  It is not the answer that is wanted but it is a right answer and you get your ten points for getting it correct. No one else thought about that and so did not write anything. Then afterwards the teacher tells the whole class what you did to make you feel bad, but was it wrong or was it a way of getting the points by giving an answer that complied to the question. . ????

You see this is at the heart of what Volkswagen did. They did not set out the test that the car was subjected to, in order to test the emissions of vehicles on roads in the USA, that was done by the American authorities. But back in Germany a rather clever software geek who looked at the test realised that the software that controls the emissions could be set to give a really great answer to the test, because the test conditions were fixed and rather predictable.  Now to me that is a bit cynical and underhand maybe, but not cheating, all it means is the test was wrong, in the same way the question. . . . . What do you know about the effects of Blue shift when dealing with light refraction in neon . . . . Is phrased wrong so that an answer can be given that is not actually the one required.   

A couple of years ago in Britain there was a huge scandal where politicians could manipulate their expenses to claim all sorts of stuff from duck houses to soft furnishings and posh televisions and the like. The politicians did not all put their hands up and say. . . .  sorry we cheated. . .  No they all said. . . we did not break the law. . . . in other words they were morally dodgy and corrupt, and may well still be for all I know, but it was not what might be called cheating more creative accounting.

And this is the key issue with Volkswagen have they really cheated or have they just made their vehicles fit the rules in a rather immoral way. It might seem a small point, but can you fine a firm for doing this . . . .  I suspect not, they have not actually broken the law.

One other point is that the emissions tests are a little pointless anyway because drivers all drive differently; do they have any relevance to a boy racer, granny, a commuter driving through the city each day, or a farmer sticking red diesel in his car or the man locally who ran his van on old chip shop cooking oil. . . That was one smelly van.  I think we can say No. Few folk drive their cars in a technically efficient manner.

If Volkswagen would like employ me to defend them in the American courts I will consider the offer although I am not cheap and don’t have a passport, so would need plenty of warning. . . . And I am very scruffy and don’t drive a Volkswagen but will if they give me one.

OOoooooo one other small point. Had Volkswagen supplied rigged non production cars to be tested in order to comply then that is cheating, but it appears all their cars have this cunning bit of software so that may not be right but it is not actually wrong (Legally speaking).

The art of the double edged compliment and handles

If you are going to put handles on draws and cupboards then it is important to make sure they are exactly in the right place or it will be noticed. There is nothing worse that ripping out the old kitchen knocking down walls, redoing ceiling and rewiring only to have someone say when you finally finish. . . . That must have been a lot of work, is that handle a bit off centre or out of alignment. This you see is the nature of humans. Folk will say things like OOOOoooo that is a lovely shirt is it meant to be white. I have resigned myself to such comments over the years as I potter about with various projects and arty things. A great classic response in art said by many to many is That is really a nice picture. . . What is it? You then go onto explain and be nice to them when what you should say is something like What a lovely nose you have what a shame it appears to be spilling blood all over the carpet, but we don’t do that.

So what I am getting too, is that today I was fitting handles to the new kitchen and I was going to make sure that they were right and they are. Yesterday the electrics were moved about and the sink fell apart. Yes the sink which we planned to reuse as it is only just over two years old fell apart. . .I know sinks don’t normally do stuff like that but this one appears to be rubbish. So a replacement is needed in order to avoid folk saying OOOo what a lovely kitchen Ah why does the sink look like that. . . .that IS  mmmmmm unusual.

Getting the new sink will involve a trip to IKEA (the old sink was not from IKEA) which will involve my car, which went to the garage this morning with a fault, the main man at the garage has gone on holiday so his faithful assistant looked at me and said NO Mr T has gone on holiday, please take it away look at all those cars out there.  Understanding the plight of the faithful assistant I said I’ll leave it over there with the others then. Well what can you do with a faulty car?  I could see he was looking stressed so I cheered him up and said you have done a great job on that old jaguar out front it looks like new, shame about the oil stain all over the drivers seat . . . . I then ran off, well I had no choice as I didn’t have a car, I will sneak back in a couple of days and smile at him and see if I can get my car back.     

Tantalus (Terror) Tans . . . . The A to Z of Slightly Strange Unknown Victorian Inventors and Explorers

Tantalus (Terror) Tans

 Tantalus Tans was the son of Lord and Lady Tans, living on their huge (I mean really huge) Surrey Estate (called Surrey). He was known to all the locals as Terror Tans because of his complete lack of concern for the local population. In fact it got to the point where each year the annual stag hunt had to import beaters from the far reaches of Britain because Tantalus nearly always shot a few bearers in his keenness to get the first stag.  He was; to put in bluntly a rich spoilt brat hated by local villagers and estate workers, but who could do no wrong in the eyes of his parents.

He was also very keen to embrace any new technology that came along and when he heard of the new horseless carriage, bought several and hired the best engineers of the time to build him his own Tans Steam Tractor.  He wanted it to be the fasted vehicle of the day and spared no expensive in creating his dream. Then on the 17^th April 1885 he attained an average speed of 62 mph over one mile through the estates lawns and rose garden. Proud of his great achievement, he assumed that this land speed record would stand for years.

However imagine his shock when 10 days later his old college sparing partner Topper Clarkson achieved a new land speed record with his Clarkson J Electric Car with an amazing 93 mph on Pendine Sands.  Tantalus Tans immediately got his chief engineer Tartan Ted (Scotty) to tweak his own Tans Steam Tractor for more power and speed. Then on May 8^th they set out on a trial run. As the vehicle thundered past the main hall Tartan Ted (Scotty) Tans’s faithful Engineer hanging on for grim death could be heard shouting . . . . . The Engines Will Nay take it Captain. . . . But Tantalus (Terror) Tans was laughing hysterically as his vehicle got close to 100 mph, a speed thought impossible. However just as the vehicle was passing the statue of Venus near the water feature with its famous flock of flamingo’s it exploded.  Lord and Lady Tans never really recovered and painted the entire house black. But in the villages the villagers celebrated knowing that it was safe to earn a few pounds as a beater in the Stag hunt again. 

Even today if you wander into the quiet back lanes of Surrey it is possible to find rusty decaying and burnt out car parts lying in the hedgerows and fields, a reminder of those glory days of motoring.

Mr Jeremy Clarkson and the Great Top Gear Conspiracy all is revealed

Over the last few days I have heard many things about the great Top Gear, Jeremy Clarkson debate. Well when I say many things I have heard or read a couple of things and have now made many assumptions that have led me to a Top Gear Conspiracy theory, I have said it before and its entirely true, everyone loves a good conspiracy theory.  You see there are some interesting facts in all this.  For example who informed the BBC of the alleged Fracas, well it turns out it was Mr Clarkson himself. Well that is not the sort of thing you are going to do when you are already in trouble; rush inside and tell the entire world that you chopped down the Cherry tree. . . .  Mmmmmm very suspicious? Then it turns out the producer has been part of the team for ages and has risen up through the staff to become a producer (a well liked producer) in a team where it appears Mr Clarkson is well and truly the main man. And I do not mean just the big star lying on a feather sofa eating grapes out of a hubcap, no he is one of the brains and driving (no pun intended) forces behind the show. So if he did not like this chap would he be a producer . . . NO. And there have been other little hints at stuff which has led me to my conspiracy theory.

SO . . . . . I can hear folk say. . . What stupid idea have you come up with now . . . . Well you see if you have watched the show you will have noticed it had lost its sparkle a bit this series. They were struggling for one of those brilliant ideas that has made the show the great success it has been for the last twenty years. Basically it had started to go a bit off the boil and stale. So in order to avoid it just petering out losing viewers, they hatched a great master plan to go out with a bang leaving everyone wanting more.

So what is this Foolish plan . . . you now ask. Well by Jeremy Clarkson discrediting himself it means the BBC has to sack him. Then his close friends and fellow presenters plus The Stig will refuse to stay, and then the crew will also follow Mr Clarkson to create a whole new car show watched by millions from day one on Channel 4. (OPTION ONE)

There is a slight possibility that the BBC seeing the dropping ratings hatched the plan to restore interest in the show. If in a few days time we hear on the BBC News that Jeremy Clarkson and the producers have made up and the show will continue to the end of this series then I think we can also assume it’s a conspiracy to boost the ratings of a show that has almost run its course. (OPTION TWO)

So there you have it call me mad (DAMN you called me mad), but conspiracy theories are not always that far from the truth. . . . Who can say its not all a cunning plan, after all the Top Gear team has achieved some unlikely goals in the past which have required immense planning. I mean if they can put a Reliant Robin on the moon then anything is possible.

What is the Truth about Jeremy Clarkson, Top Gear and the Fracas . . .Big Questions Answered

Here in Britain in the last couple of days the Big Question has been . . .  What did Top Gear’s Jeremy Clarkson do, what is the nature of the so called Fracas . . . .  Some of you who are not from Britain will probably know the name and that he is one of the co-presenters of BBC2’s rather popular show Top Gear, a rather light hearted motoring program.  Here in Britain he is a bit like Marmite he is a love him or hate him character for many reasons.

Now before I progress I need to point out that I am a rather left wing chap politically and a firm believer in equality irrespective of gender colour nationality wealth or disability. We should all have the same opportunities in life where possible to achieve our goals and do the things we wish to do.  I know I am an idealist because even the so called left wing counties in the world are far from equal; in fact some are worse than the so called Decadent West.

This brings us back to Mr Jeremy Clarkson who we are told is rather/very right wing chap politically. As I do not know him in person I can only be guided by the media. You see over the years he has reputedly said some terrible things, many of them on the very popular Top Gear. Now I watch this program, I like it, and find it rather entertaining and I have heard some of the comments and the like that have made the news. And to me as a lefty idealist he has always appeared to be a bit devilish rather than racist or sexist, he just likes to have a little dig at the modern paranoia for political correctness.  He is a very good motoring journalist and does a brilliant job on Top Gear, it is not his fault that this has made him very rich, and rich folk tend to be right wing. I suspect he is also something a Prima Dona after a rather charmed life as a celebrity but to me he has a dry wit, a way with words and is a great driver (or appears to be on the show). 

So what has brought us to the suspension of Top Gear and Jeremy Clarkson well it appears after a long day of filming the crew arrived back at their hotel at 10pm to a cold buffet. This led Mr Clarkson to let rip verbally at one of the producers and we are told man handle him a bit (exact details are a bit grey). Well I suspect he was tired and hungry and probably stressed, he is almost as old as me, OK a bit younger, but as you get older you need a decent meal at some point in the day. And its no good thinking he is a TV celeb so its all pink champagne and letting the fans lick his boots, he works like the rest of us, yes it’s a great job (OK I don’t really work a lot these days) but a job is a job and after a long day where you are expecting a meal at a hotel you really should get it.

Just imagine a group of miners arriving back at the surface after a long dayin the mine to be told the canteen is serving a cold salad, would they smile and say Oooooooo YUM. . . . I think not.

So BBC if you read this (which is unlikely as I am merely a member of the public with idealist left wing tendencies) just get everyone to say sorry to each other shake hands and get Top Gear back on the TV and Mr Clarkson back driving round that track telling us that This car steers like a python covered in grease on a frozen pond in Norwich on a cold wet Sunday while being watched by nuns . . . Oooo hang on you WOULDN'T get nuns in Norwich.

Letters of complain, demanding the sacking of Mr C the following week because of the implications of no nuns in Norwich. 

What is the Future of the Car . . The Big Question

It has been some time since I tackled one of those big questions that I am obliged to answer by my sponsors, yes the world of the profession blogger is a right old game. I was thinking of starting another interesting tale of Master Higgs, Alice and Harry Potter but it will have to wait (involving a certain Penguin). 

You see today we are asking the question  . . . . .  What is the Future of the Car  . . . .  Well that is a big question because we all know one thing for sure and that is we can't keep building them and using them as we presently do. Even though most of us would like to keep them and use them as we presently do; causing a right old conflict between Environmental issues, sustainability and the way we live. 

Now everyone knows that most cars need oil, it’s what makes them run, we also know oil is a limited resource and if cars are going to remain everyday transport for the masses we need alternatives. Well the first of these is the Electric Car but it still has major issues and although there are Hybrid options available there are big issues with the lot. One being the hybrid cars still fundamentally rely on the oil and another being that they might seem more environmentally friendly, but they are not. The resources used to make the batteries are limited and all sorts of chemicals are involved and stuff is shifted all over the world in ships and lorry’s that use oil. So Electric cars are not Eco friendly even if folk tell you they are…. NO it’s true they are Eco-Rubbish .

AH DAMN I hear you all say but all is not yet lost there is the fuel cell which is sort of like a battery and produces electricity to power an electric car and I have a theory that the future could be a chemically powered car. There are many chemical reactions that produce loads of energy. Reactions similar to sticking polo mints or something similar in a bottle of Coca Cola which can cause a fairly interesting reaction (do not try at home or in the home). The point being chemistry could be used to produce energy from more sources than the traditional oil based ones to power either electric or combustion engines or even to create heat to power steam engines. I rather fancy driving a chemically powered steam car.

Of course lifestyle is another big issue with cars, I'm sure I can not be the only person who has found themselves stuck in a motorway traffic jam due to roadworks and noticed the thousands of cars heading in the opposite direction to the thousands of cars heading the same way as me. Surely there is something wrong in this because if all those folk heading the other way did the stuff myself and all those others stuck with me had to do. We could do what they need to do and no one would actually need to go anywhere. You see the big issue with personal transport as in cars, is we adapt our lifestyle to the fact we can travel all over the place rather than to more sensibly option of living within the area we can walkabout in. Unfortunately in the decadent west most of us are now locked into a way of life that needs personal transport to function. Which just goes to show what a big question tonight’s big question . . . .  What is the Future of the Car  . . . .  really is.  Unfortunately the answer is not in my hands but in the hands of politicians and governments so I don't expect things to end well.     

The Return of President Putin

There is something slightly odd about a clock that has a rather flat battery, when I say flat I refer to the power of the battery rather than a squashed one. Clocks tend to be a device of certainty something we trust and rely on while they rotate. Of course every now and again we come across one that is stopped but that is OK because it is stopped and as we know a stopped clock is in general of little use.

However a clock with a nice big friendly face and hands that are ticking away as they should; should be correct, if it was correct last time it was looked at, not at least half an hour slow. So it was that our trip to collect President Putin from our friend, an artist and Member of Plaid Cymru got off to a slightly sudden start when every other clock in the house chimed a chirpy Half Past Ten. I have always been told it is not good to make President Putin wait, which is slightly unfair as I have a feeling he has a habit of doing that very thing to other important people at times.

Anyway we got to collect Mr Putin right on time and he never noticed a thing, despite going what is called here in Britain at least . . . . . The Pretty Way. . . . .  I am not sure if this is a term used in other parts of the world but it generally refers to either getting lost or taking the very long route to your destination.  This can happen when the driver of the vehicle goes into auto pilot and only realizes the error of his way when the passengers ask in a quizzical way WHERE ARE WE GOING? Ghost Writers make rubbish chauffeurs . . . and Ghost Writers as it happens.   

We have also seen Miss Jo who had her Birthday today and I ate fairy cake and ginger cake and another cake, so I have eaten three cakes today so that is quite good.

I sure you will all be pleased to hear President Putin in Hanging on the wall again now where he belongs. . . . . . .

A quiet day

I have had a quietish day today which involved two wheels, a long device that cuts things, but it refused to start,  a few hungry goldfish I am trying to turn into the longest goldfish in the world and a man who said I could have 17 tyres. 

However I am also somewhat tired (not tyred) so I have decided to do what I did the other night and recycle an old post. I have written over one thousand posts so a bit of recycling is a cunning trick. Lets face it at least fifty percent of all television is recycled and no one complains, OK yes everyone complains but it still happens so it will still happen here.

So here we have an old fairy tale one I wrote when I was desperate as nothing had happened that day and I just started typing as I do sometimes (OK always). . . Well I mean who really knows what they are going to write before they write it. . . . NO one  . . . . NO I dont believe you, you make it up just like me.

Ooooo yes I have to collect President Putin tomorrow.

Ooooooooo again. . . . It appears that while I have been typing this, a car has crashed and rolled at the end of our drive. I have just been up to see what happened but the fire engine police ambulance and all the neighbours are there so I have returned home.  I never heard a thing and only a phone call and lots of blue lights alerted us to the events. But there are lots of folk there and one more spectator is not required.  

My Trusty White Falcon 

 The Greatest Fairy Tale of all time

Icy Black and the Seven Giants

Once upon a time there was a grumpy young prince called Icy Black who would wander about the castle of his step-father the King muttering and complaining at crows and seagulls and some of the servants; who would say things like if you grump like that young master Black the wind will change direction and you will be grumpy for life and look like a big Frog. Prince Icy Black would always shout GOOD and stamp about until someone gave him ice cream to keep him quiet. His step-father, King Arthur had a large round table (a talking table) and each day he would ask it table,table in the hall who is the happiest of them all, and the table would always say KING ARTHUR.

Then as Prince Icy Black got older he started to really get on the nerves of everyone with his constant grumpiness and then one day when King Arthur said table,table in the hall who is the happiest of them all the table said Boris the Greengrocer, the King was shocked and asked the table why and of course it was because after nineteen years of grumpiness Prince Icy Black was making everyone unhappy. 

The King thought OK I have had enough of this and sent Prince Icy Black into the forest and gave the nod to the knights to sort of chop his head off. But once in the forest Prince Icy Black complained so much the knights forgot about killing him and stuck cotton wool in their ears and ran back to the castle.

Then as it got dark and prince Icy Black was moaning he was cold and hungry he came across a huge house, as he pushed the door open he was confronted by seven giants who looked at him and complained and grumped for at least an hour about strangers turning up and leaving doors open and not wearing matching shoes.

It turned out that the seven giants were even grumpier than Prince Icy Black which made him very happy so it was a bit of a shock several weeks later when King Arthur asked the round table table,table in the hall who is the happiest of them all the table said Prince Icy Black. Everyone at the castle thought O NO he might come back so a plot was hatched and an apple was laced with a magic sleeping potion and one of the knights returned to the forest where he made a tower of five apples outside the house of the seven giants. Of course Prince Icy Black could not resist saying he was going to eat the bottom apple destroying the tower, but as he did so he fell asleep and snored really loudly.

When the seven giants returned from their day job of guarding a small village from a group of Japanese samurai bandits they thought, we cant cope with all that snoring so put Prince Icy Black in a sound proof glass box in the woods.  As time passed everyone lived happily until one day a passing princess saw Prince Icy Black and thought Ooooooo I know I will kiss him, and all in an instant he turned into a huge frog and got in a right strop leaping about shouting, so the princess ran off. After chewing a few flies Prince Icy Black thought I know I will go and see King Arthur he will be pleased to see me.

The End . . . . . . . . . . . . Or is it

The Curse of Cars

Yes its a Man and a Fish and has no link whatsoever to the words 

but they do this in ads on the television all the time so it must be OK.

Yesterday was the longest day as in loads of sunlight and it was still hot, it was also a long day indeed as we went out in the evening to have a curry with our good friends Mr Charlie and Miss Jane.  This was grand and I even had something new after a very long time of having the same curry. As always we were the last to leave, we are always the last to leave, even when we all turned up earlier than normal to avoid being the last to leave.

We waved Mr Charlie and Jane farewell and set off into the sunset (night) in our trusty Fiat. However about halfway home one of the front tyres sort of gave up and fell apart, Not sure why but one minute we are driving along all chilled and the next the car is rattling along like it has a square wheel.  But its OK we can fit the spare or phone the nice man at the RAC if all else fails, only it turns out the spare wheel release mechanism is dead, we have since found out this is common on this car and folk are advised to keep the spare in the back.. . . . O DEAR . . .  OK then phone the nice RAC man only it appears the mobile phone battery it too low to make a phone call and it is now 11.00pm on a dark road with no one about.

So we decide to limp along the road for a bit, luckily we had a lead to charge the phone so after a bit we were able to phone the nice RAC man who did have to drive for almost an hour to get to us . . . . The joy of life in the country.

Anyway we arrived back home just after midnight on the back of a large tow truck, so it did turn into a very long day indeed.

So we now have a three legged car and we (not the car) will be heading off tomorrow to attempt to fix our beast as it appears to have a few problems and is bleeping at us.  It is not quite the old faithful machine it used to be in the old days.   

1 Bugatti, 24 goldfish and 1000 coat hangers

Yesterday as I told a handful of folk well maybe two. . . . as all the other folk were busy apparently they had hair to wash and paint to watch dry, or a an ant to race in an ant race through the maze of eternal confusion at 25 to 1 odds on; I was too tired to post because of the Bugatti and the 24 goldfish.  Today as you might expect those folk are keen to know exactly what I was up to that involved 24 goldfish and a Bugatti, well you would expect that only they are not really interested at all. This is no reason though not to tell you what I was doing and why I was very tired.

It started with a mad rush to help Miss Issy in the charity shop in the great Metropolis of Welshpool where I was allocated the cellar as it was felt I might be better down there away from customers. OK a couple of them did peer down and say OOOOOOo she’s right there is a monster in the cellar, I never saw it mind you?

Then I found the Bugatti, not the car but the clothing, I never knew they did clothing, but it seems they do and it (a jacket) fitted rather well so I bought it. So I am now the proud owner of a Bugatti WELL COOL. I also threw out about 1000 coat hangers . . . . . NO its true that place is overloaded with coat hangers.

After that Auntie Karen and Ian the Musical Hat Maker and Rock Star called in to say hello so we all stopped for tea and coffee and said rude things about certain politicians with a vague link to the local area and then all tried on clothing, Mr Ian finding a rather nice Dinner jacket for himself enhancing his rugged cool rock star image. . . .

Then after the shop closed I had to save 24 goldfish from the Ghost Writer who had received them as an early Father’s Day gift. He was discussing the options of fried or curried so it was felt he may have got the wrong idea about the gift and they needed to be rescued from his oven pronto. He had named them all either Pi, Cake or Supper so the fish are now safe but may need to talk to a therapist for anxiety.

Anyway after all that it was no surprise I was tired, I was better today as it was rather a nice day and so I was able to introduce the fish to the Steam Powered Duck and attempt Leech juggling  . . . . . . . . . Don’t try Leech juggling I don’t recommend it.

Ian the Musical Hat Maker

(A US N01 in its day)

The Ghost Writer and the Chaos of Life in a Real Universe

Many of you might have been thinking . . . . . HANG ON where has that Rob Z Tobor chap vanished off too, it is not like him . . . . .  And true enough it is not like me to vanish from the dark voids of cyberspace without warning, however as with all things in the universe, all things are linked in some way. In my case things are rather closely linked the fortunes of the Ghost Writer, when I say fortunes I refer more to the events of his life rather than a fortune as in money terms as he is a penniless shambolic waster.  Anyway the point is, if all is a bit chaotic for the Ghost Writer then all is chaotic inside the strange alternate universe of Rob Z Tobor, it is the way things are.

You see Mrs Ghost Writer the wife of the Ghost Writer (a deduction I suspect you can work out yourself) was whisked off to hospital on Friday morning after a couple of days of rather extreme pain with  acute Appendicitis. They then operated on her on Saturday, I think the plan was to do the op on Friday but due to a little flurry of emergencies the operating schedule sort of got scrambled.  To add to the complexity of this was the fact that the Ghost Writer has had major car problems which got more complicated when  the Ghost Writers car made a huge bang only a couple of miles from the garage as he was driving it home having been repaired. Luckily this was not as bad in the end as it appeared and the main result is a very noisy indicator, however the original fault occurred on the Saturday while he planned to visit Mrs Ghost Writer so he used our car instead.  Unfortunately it had a major power steering fault at the hospital and the Ghost Writer had a bit of a fight to get the car and himself and Mr F home.  Not helped by power steering fluid dripping onto the front tyres making the car a bit scary to keep in a straight line.

Luckily Mr F had already planned to arrive up on Friday so as he arrived to see Mr and Mrs Ghost Writer on Friday morning they were able to say . . . . . See you later Mr F we are off to the hospital . . . .  As I have already mentioned the Ghost Writer is a penniless shambolic waster and to that we can also add scatty forgetful and disorganised, so Mr F being about I’m sure was rather helpful.

So why have I managed to return tonight, well you see Mrs Ghost Writer is recovering and all being well will be home tomorrow, Mrs Ghost Writer has had a lot of operations over the last thirty years so there were slight complexities to the op, but all looks good at present. So the Ghost Writer is a bit more chilled. Mr F has now headed home as he has many things to do himself. And at least one car appears to be sort of working almost allowing the Ghost Writer to get about.

In turn it now means I have a small window in the chaos of daily life to sit and write my diary, It has all been a little more complex (that’s Life), than we would all want it and that means free time has been minimal. Diaries strangely never get written when loads and loads of stuff is happening due to a lack of time, ironically the very time you need to write a diary to keep track of stuff.

Mind you I don’t think anyone has really noticed I was gone . . . . . the nice Mr Steven Spielberg will not be impressed by that, I will have to reduce my fee again . . . . . DAMN