An A to Z Coronavirus observational guide. . . T

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Testing

One of the big issues that keeps coming up in Britain is testing folk for Covid-19. The government seem to be missing their own goals on testing people and as a result then get quite a lot of hassle from the media. As far as I can tell this is to some degree the government’s own fault. Had they early on said there were going to be problems in testing large numbers of people, in particular front line health workers such as nurses and doctors them maybe they would be under less pressure.  I think they failed to realise that the worldwide demand for tests was so high that they suddenly found themselves at the back of the queue. They also said they were hoping to have a test to show who had built up antibody immunity and have paid for three million tests. It was to be the way to get everyone back to work quickly. The problem though is that this test has turned out to be unreliable when it itself was tested. So it sort of scuppered the government’s plans forcing them to fall back on the same test as used by the vast majority of the rest of the world.

Anyway the result of all this is the number of tests on people to see if they have Covid-19 in the UK is low compared to many other countries. And it appears that the countries that manage to undertake high levels of testing are also the ones that have the lowest numbers of Covid-19 cases and in turn lower numbers of deaths. It has been speculated by some that the UK’s number of deaths could possibly end up the highest in Europe. If this proves to be true then it may well be the government who will be blamed by both the media and public . . . . . We will see.

Mankind's Past and Mankind's Future . . . . The SHOCK Truth

The other day someone said to me hey you are a professional blogger don’t you answer all those tricky questions about stuff. . . . To which I said yes and that is the easiest question I have ever had to deal with, but then they said well I was wondering why the social economic structure that mankind lives within is so complex when say a duck messes about, eats grass and maybe heads south for the winter.  I did try and explain that I normally only write about 500 words per post and we have already used a whole load up and have not ever started to deal with his rather complex question.

So in order to deal with this I will answer it in two bits because there are in fact two very different answers to this, one very long answer and one much shorter. Tonight will be the shorter answer. Both are equally valid and have their supporters within the scientific community at large.

So consider the dilemma of being a super intelligent lifeform keen to colonise the universe, but also aware of the issues involved. I have previously explained it is as good as impossible to do this. However there is one way it could be done and recent discoveries in space support this theory, you see the basic building blocks of life have been found in space and we need to ask ourselves why it is there. Well it is likely it was put there by a super intelligent lifeform and represents the key genetic data of their own species at a micro biological structure level, where it (the building blocks of life) drifts through space. Once encountering a planet gravity ensures it covers its surface. And because of the microscopic size it does not burn up as it falls through the atmosphere.  Once on the planet it then interferes with the process of Evolution in the most suitable species and gradually turn the DNA of the host being into the original (alien) lifeform.

Have you noticed how Mankind suddenly headed down an entirely different avenue of evolutionary process to other apes and we now have a lifestyle closer to that of termites and ants. Just look at how folk move about in IKEA and large shopping centres, the Great Apes just sit about or chill in trees and never build large towers like termites.  If you add to this to the question of what sort of super lifeform would put the colony and species before the individual in order to colonize the universe; and the answer is clearly an insect one such as termites or ants.

We are not ants we lack the required number of limbs but viewed from a great height our cities are very similar to that of the termite and insect colonies. And we have ever increasing laws and regulations to control us, pressurizing us to conform to the will of the masses. Something clearly changed us from being apes, and it is very likely we are in the process of becoming pre-programmed alien beings.

You may laugh but just think about this next time you are following the little arrows around IKEA without question picking up large fluffy termites for the kids to play with. . . . . . . . . . .     

The Return of Sunday's Past, IKEA and things that go Bleep at Christmas

Sundays here are starting to return to the way Sundays used to be a long time ago, part of this is due to the fact it is dark damp and cold at this time of year so no one likes leaping out into the day much. OK Mr Jones will, the slightest hint of an alien invasion force from a far distant planet with huge terrifying battle machines, the like of man has yet to conceive and he is out in the woods, naked and running about with his I AM YOUR FRIEND sign. But he is an exception, most folk are keeping their heads down and at present are thinking O my god its December what I am I going to get everyone for Christmas.

Actually while on that subject . . . .   O my god its December what I am I going to get everyone for Christmas.

Here is cyberspace you would think that Sundays would be much like any other day, but no it has also become very quiet in the murky world of social media on Sunday, although I can’t see why that should happen. Maybe my greatest fear has been realized; the entire world’s population has gone to IKEA or as Mr Jones likes to call it . . . . . The flimsy facade of aliens in a cunning plan to take over planet Earth.  . . . . . Yes he is convinced those little allen keys are in fact eggs that contain a small creature that will bore into your head and that will be the end of you. Well provided you pass the alien intelligent test first, the building of flat pack furniture, you see they plan to enslave all the less intelligent folk who fail the test, who will then become dinner.  . . . . it is a lose lose situation so best just to buy G plan  . . . . OOOOOOoooo hang on no Mr Jones says aliens . . .

While on the subject of Christmas and panic I don’t know if it is just me but once upon a time something new would turn up at Christmas something interesting that would keep us all interested. Like Steam Powered Goldfish, The Clockwork Invisible Man, Make your own Luminous Barrel Organ or a chemistry set that would make foaming pink stuff that could talk Swedish and ate pencils or even a humble reproduction 1950’s robot that would walk a short distance spin its head a bit then fall over. However today none of these things are available if you go hunting the vast voids of cyberspace for ideas for Christmas it seems to consist of the latest touch screen phone or the latest touch screen iPad thing or a games console. This is not what we want when it comes to the crunch what we want (well us chaps anyway) is a thing with wheels and gears and things we can unscrew and tinker with, and hissing noises and little motors. You would think with all the technology about these days someone would make a nice smallish not too expensive thing that did nothing useful, but sort of whizzed and chirped and looked like it was designed in the Victorian era. . . . . . . Hang on that sounds like me……..

The IT Guru and the Office Chair

The Ghost Writer has been in his office all day doing what he does with computers; last time he was there, the office had a slight crisis when the accountant invested all the money on Lottery tickets before running off to a tropical tax haven. So he thought he might find an empty office with dust and tumble weed blowing about, but everyone was there and they were all fairly chirpy.  He thought it best no to ask about the accountant and the lottery tickets just in case, but every three months or so there is a big meeting where everyone gets together and tells everyone else what they have been doing. The Ghost Writer says he hates these because at some point they will all look at him and then he is expected to tell them all what he has done.

It is very difficult to tell a whole room (hall) full of expectant folk that he has been hiding for three months since the last meeting and that if he could remember a whole three months worth of stuff he would probably be off making his fortune in the IT business rather that pretending that he knows all about IT and hoping for the best. Still he is very honest and always tells everyone he does not have a clue what he is doing, but they all laugh and say “of course you do, your our IT chap”. I think the Ghost Writer has mastered Sarcasm better than I have.

He does however have one very important question for his big meeting (in about 2 weeks) and that is . . . . Why do all the bolts and screws keep falling out of office chairs, an important question as, it happens to all of us (well me)

He has told me not to worry about my loss of Wit in cyberspace as there is a special area where everyone who has lost their Wit can go and practice until it comes back called T-WIT-ter. It appears it is good because no one pays any attention to a single thing you say (tweet, so called because most folk feel they are right tweets after a bit).

Snow storms and an alien subterranean complex

It’s the Weather again tonight I’m afraid; just what is going on out there; there we were crossing the playground minding our own business complaining that it was far to cold again to do anything constructive in lessons as we have all started to malfunction and are going quietly mad, when we were attacked by a snow storm that meant we found ourselves lost in the middle of the playground surrounded by a white haze of white.  Esmeralda was all for forging ahead into the unknown and said we would be OK because we could eat the smallest children first. Freddie disagreed but then he is not very tall, but then again he is well defended by a group of ferrets discretely hidden about his person. In the end I was asked to save us as I am head boy and it is expected; I did think this would be a bit of a problem but I noticed I was standing on a manhole cover and so suggested we could get back to civilisation using the subterranean complex which I deduced must have been created by aliens as I have never noticed a manhole cover before.

As we entered the complex of tunnels out of the wind and snow I noticed all sorts of cables some of which appeared to be fibre optic, so we all thought this has to be the work of aliens, and it was dark. Luckily Freddie had a penknife and Esmeralda still had the cleaver from the domestic science lesson in her school bag, so our progress through the maze of tunnels (ok tunnel) was quick and we emerged into the IT department who apparently were having all sorts of problems as the internet had just crashed. This meant our class (all thirty seven of us) were able to make good our escape from a small cupboard at the back of the room.

As head boy I remained at the rear of the group to ensure the aliens did not get us, but as I was leaving the IT department, George asked the IT teacher who was scratching his head, how he managed to fit 37 people in a tiny cupboard. Unfortunately as the teacher looked up calling George an IDIOT he saw me and asked what I was doing so I explained I had suspicions that the school was under attack by aliens who might eat children and that they had now destroyed all external communications after making a tunnel to enter the school, I knew I must be right because the phones did not work either.

I still am not entirely sure why class 17HZ stampeded out into the snow screaming. And I thought just because I am head boy it was a bit unfair to send me out to find them. But luckily I found then near the manhole cover in the middle of the playground so was able to lead them all to safety along the alien tunnel back to the IT department. The IT teacher looked well shocked as we emerged from the small cupboard, so I think he was impressed. . .

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The great tradition of British Inventors in the technological development of wheelbarrows

The summer Holiday officially started today so Mmmmmmmm Loads to do? Why is it you think you have loads to do; you will be really really busy this summer holiday and have no spare time to do the dull things then after a short time you think……. AH what will I do? I will admit I usually last longer than three hours though before this happens but I blame the weather, not that the weather is bad, in fact it has been rather nice today but I am mentally adjusted now to dull and wet…..

As it happened Mr Charlie and Miss Jane came to see us for lunch so that was cool, lunch even lasted until early evening so we had a six hour lunchtime which is very cool. Mr Charlie is a great inventor of inventions, not those boring mass production useful inventions but inventions that are interesting and quirky in the true tradition of mad British inventors, like dad so they get on very well.

He (Mr Charlie) is in the process on making a special self propelled, gyroscopically balanced auto-tipping wheelbarrow using parts from a BSA Bantam, 15 bicycles, a U2 spy plane and a wheelbarrow. It will enable Miss Jane to shift huge amounts of stuff in their garden and put it into a precise location, accurate to within a millimetre of any latitude, longitude co-ordinate on Earth. So they will have the most accurate wheelbarrow on the planet. If it all goes to plan he thinks demand for this will be enormous because at present most gardeners just dump things at the bottom of the garden without a thought about coordinates which is just sloppy gardening. Miss Jane says she does not want a high tech wheelbarrow just one where the wheel does not fall off or go flat. Both Miss Jane and Mum have said IDIOT but they don’t understand the great advances in the technological development of wheelbarrows that Mr Charlie’s invention will bring to the world.

I bet when George Stevenson first invented the train and laid the track down his garden to the potting shed so Mrs Stevenson did not have to walk so far; Mrs Stevenson probably said “I just wanted so crazy paving dear not that monstrosity”.  But look where it led we can now wait on long concrete platforms in the cool and wet for hours before squeezing into an overcrowded train at a huge cost to ourselves to arrive somewhere late and miss an appointment.

You see without great minds like dad or Mr Charlie we would all still spend all day laying about chilled drinking beer outside a cave waiting for dinner to walk past, then sleep it off and do the same tomorrow. No work to do or tax to pay.

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