What is Time . . . . A Simple Guide to the Origin of Time

I not sure about you lot but in this part of the world it is getting distinctly darker earlier in the evening meaning that summer is over and Autumn has arrived. As it happened today was a nice sunny day and the fact it is just after seven o’clock in the evening as I write this (I will be eating my evening meal soon so bear that in mind)  and getting darker by the second shows us that the year is rapidly vanishing into winter.

And this made me think about time, yes this really is a Big Question today, although it’s not as complex as you might think.  You see if you think about what mankind has used as its reference of time over history.  Starting with rising of the sun and the summer and winter solstice, which is why many of the old sacred sights such as Stonehenge are large clocks aligned to these events. Of course things have moved on and we now have time based on the caesium atom which is seriously accurate, you will never be late for meeting using a continuous cold caesium fountain atomic clock.

However all these clocks sort of miss the key issue involved in time, they all are based on moving things even if these days it’s tiny really really tiny. So the point is TIME can only exist while things move, even if the things moving are tiny like atoms or electrons.  In other words time does not exist it is merely a way of expressing movement from point A to Point B.  Remember the Big Bang theory says before the Big Bang time did not exist (I’m not making this up) and that is because nothing moved not even atoms. But even the tiniest movement of a single electron (or Chicken) would create (time - movement) and the Universe all in one huge explosion.

Which brings us to chickens they understand time better than you think; what is one of the earliest forms of measuring a fixed time . . . .? The Egg Timer . . .  a device entirely evolved by chickens. And that old saying which folk can't ever answer. . . . Why Did The Chicken Cross the Road. . . . It was a way of travelling a fixed distance to access the accuracy of the egg timer, allowing the calculation of the horizontal movement of the chicken at a fixed speed against the gravitational forces on the egg timer.  It is a little known fact that chickens were the first creatures to attempt time travel. . . . OK YES they were rubbish at it but they tried.  

I may be up for yet another Nobel Prize again. . . . 

Fairy Lights and the Theory of Time

The year appears to rapidly heading towards its end, I always think it seems to speed up at the end of the year and I have a feeling I am not alone in this as it is quite common at this time of year to hear folk saying OOOOooo I just do not know where the year has vanished too, something more profound than it may at first appear. Because as time rapidly races towards the end of the year rather than vanish which seems unlikely (things never just vanish), all that time is still there, it is just we can’t see it as we have passed into another instant of time. That would mean that the point where I started to write this post and the point where I finished it would still exist equally just not at the same point in time. Although every point in time (OK time that has already existed) still exists.  Of course new time is different but where that comes from is a whole new ball game as the old saying goes, although it is hopefully not a game, I would be annoyed if I am trapped in a game, and it does not involve a ball (well I don’t think so).

Anyway what I was planning to say before time distracted me, something else I am not alone in having problems with, it is quite common to hear folk say Oooooo look at the time I must go. When I say they look at the time, as it happens they don’t, they look at a watch or similar device based on the basic principle of a fixed linear movement of a thing of some sort, so we say a watch hand takes one minute to travel from here to here? But that whole ideal as we can now see is in tatters, basing time on linear movement might be convenient but is probably totally wrong.

AH yes distracted again by time, what I was planning to say was I saw my first Christmas lights today  . . . . . . Phew time does fly  . . . . . . Yet another saying that if true changes even more stuff and I am confused enough already.  The one thing this does mean however is that the slightly modified old saying we use here of . . . . . Fairy Lights are for life not just for Christmas . . . . has more going for it as a statement of fact than it might seem to at first glance, in our case these lights mean we can see the front door to put the key in to unlock it to get in. Not always easy when you are dressed up in a large red coat with fur trim wearing a false beard and have spent the night grovelling about in chimneys and trying to keep a reindeer on the correct route because he cant use the SatNav (that’s GPS to those of you not in Britain).

OK what happened today . . . . . AH DAMN I have run out of time (well OK not entirely true please read above).

The multiple dimensions of downwards, a castle and a birthday party

Today has been as much about catching up as actually getting anything done so for example I am still writing up my adventures in the underworld; OK not really so much the underworld as the world underground, as they are not entirely the same thing, as my very good friend Napoleon Beelzebub has pointed out. Although they are both in the same direction, it is more the fact they are not in the same dimension, much like myself and the Ghost Writer. In fact while on the subject of different dimensions I discovered that the old medieval castle that we stayed near which I will mention when I finally get things all written up (you lot are just going to have to wait until I am organized a bit . . . . . . . . . AH); OK yes this castle exists in several dimensions also. It has a real existence so exists in the world of the Ghost Writer; it has an existence in the real world of Rob Z Tobor (me) because as far as I’m concerned I’m real. And then I discovered it has an alternative existence as a French castle in Monty Python and the Holy Grail.  So I have now discovered that not only did we miss a chance to get all the gold from the centre of the Earth we have also missed an opportunity to find the Holy Grail and possibly the odd autograph……

Anyway the farmer has now filled the tunnels created by the cows, so they are a bit dispirited and are chewing grass in despair, roaming about in the fields in a sort of random fashion as if their goal in life has been taken away from them. However the sting in the tail for us was that one of their tunnels has resulted in the main road being closed and we were forced to undertake a huge detour in order to get to the birthday party of Miss Elle tonight who was seventeen while we were away in the depths of the subterranean caverns. It appears the road will now be closed for at least three weeks because cows make large tunnels but are not good at engineering the supports . . . . . . . 

It was a bit of a shock all that frost and sunlight this morning I had to wear sunglasses at breakfast and a woolly hat although it did turn into a really lovely day. OK I better go it is getting on as I have been at a birthday party and had to go and return the long way. . . .

Oooo I saw two of those powered parachute things going over the house today and an Austin Maxi. I thought all Austin Maxi’s were well dead, ironically on the way to the birthday party we did pass the Austin Maxi again and it appeared to be dead with people peering into the engine. Such is life. 

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The inverted molecular antimatter generator and Isaac Newton's great error about gravity

Today dad has been working on a new steam powered electro-mechanical device; it’s an inverted molecular antimatter generator using fundamental matter-antimatter symmetry to create the inverted antimatter being of ourselves within a world that is equal and opposite to the one we exist in. I can here some of you saying WHAT? And who can blame you it is what I said when I was told I was going to be given the privilege of testing the prototype out. Not that I don’t trust dads mad machines but I did notice his first attempt at transporting an apple into its antimatter state ended in a  small pile of ash. So it was decided that the only fair and safe way to conduct this experiment was to use one of the cats. As Heavy Harry the Cat is large and rather aggressive with long claws Sooty the Cat was volunteered because he is soft and stupid, the ideal properties for such an important experiment never undertaken before.

The experiment was not entirely successful because as the force field between the two opposite and opposing worlds started to come into view, Sooty the cat was unable to cross the barrier because there was a cat on the other side blocking his route across the barrier and when we tried to shoo the cat on the other side away someone on the other side of the barrier did the same to Sooty the Cat. Then Sooty the Cat lost interest and ran off at exactly the same time as the cat on the other side of the barrier did, it was very annoying if only Sooty had stayed put a few more seconds. Dad did try throwing another apple at the barrier in frustration but it turned to ash.  

The dog is now convinced that the violent reaction that the apples are experiencing may indicate that apples are not entirely fixed in our own time space dimension and that it may be best not to eat them. DAMN I have spent three days pruning all the apple trees so that we get loads of them next year that is a bit of a blow. Apparently the dog says that if apples are not in the same time space dimension as us then poor old Isaac Newton made a terrible error when he sat under that apple tree; and he is super gluing his kennel to the ground as I type. I don’t know why he is doing that, he never uses it except to store bones and old books on Latin. Mum has said the dog is an IDIOT…….. PHEW it’s not me this time ………… AH …… apparently I am too.  

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