An almost rational reason why I plan to vote to leave the European Union

I thought I would have a quick break from Poetry today and do Politics (sorry about that).

Have you noticed that here in Britain the great debate about should we vote to stay in or leave Europe is starting to look slightly silly as each side raises the stakes like a mad game of Poker. . . . I will match your World War Three and raise you pestilence and Armageddon as a result of aliens from Venus.  It is getting harder to get any real idea about what the best thing to do is. Certainly the stay campaign has the greatest clout because the bulk of the establishment are scared of change and the unknown, so they are doing a great job of ensuring that leaving looks like total madness.

Well it may surprise some, but I plan to vote to leave and there are rational reasons for this and also one very non-rational reason. Firstly I need to say as I have said before I am a bit left wing (not very, just a bit) and unlike a lot of the out voters I would be happy to let more refugees into the UK, particularly from Syria. Ooooo I get annoyed by British politicians and now the EU with feeble excuses not to help people who are fleeing a terrible war, most of whom are just decent ordinary folk.

In theory the principles of the EU should appeal to me, I mean I voted to join in the first place (OK yes I’m a bit old). I believe in equality and a level playing field in life for all, and that we should protect the vulnerable and the weak. All stuff which the EU is meant to stand for. When I voted to join all those years ago I was hoping we would be part of a single currency, and that it would be possible to travel about in Europe as easily as nipping up the road to Scotland. We would be one big happy community, smiling hugging each other and having a good life.

But is that what happened No the EU  has turned into a huge bureaucratic semi opaque monster, I don’t know if money is spent wisely or not and there seem to be more dodgy deals and . . . I’ll scratch your back if you scratch mine stuff going on than one can shake a seagull at. The politics of Europe are becoming polarized and based on self interest with the Euro on the brink of yet another crisis. In fact I suspect the Euro crisis may have been delayed a bit until we have our vote, or am I just being a bit cynical. . .maybe.  So my main reason not to remain is that I do not believe that the long term future of the EU is looking good. The stay in campaign say we would enter a recession if we leave, but if the Euro starts to fail and we are part of Europe then that will happen anyway. Right now I just feel Britain may have more control of its economic future and the well being of its population outside the European Union. I am just an ordinary man on the street I may be wrong I don’t know, but I can only do what I feel is right long term.

I did also say I have one very irrational reason why I am voting Leave, it is a very simple one. Both David Cameron and Tony Blair have said they intend to vote to stay in . . . I do not know them personally but Oooooooo they both annoy me with their smug I am better that you attitude

OK there you have it I will vote Leave I don’t know it that is right or not but I suspect Britain will Stay in just on the shear amount of doom stories the government is managing to get into the news. And even I am not of fan of the . . .  . We don’t want all these foreigners over here . . . . attitude of some of the Leave supporters. Why is there a them and us approach to all this; Britain will not sail off into the sunset and we will still be part of Europe come what may.

If we do stay in and the EU economy very quickly starts to go into crisis I promise not to say I told you so. . . . . when I say promise I am in fact lying. . . . I will  

V is for Voting

Today is a very important day in the future of Britain and dependent on the vote of the great British public, who will elect members for the European Parliament, which bizarrely will not make a smidgen of a difference; No its entirely true . . . . . .  One of the particularly odd things about this vote is that many many folk will, or have rushed off to vote for UKIP or one of the many Anti-European Community based parties that are standing. However the one thing none of them will be able to do is take Britain out of the European Community that has to be done by the British Government.

They (the political media experts) also think that in a year’s time when we vote for a new British Government, that folk will not vote for the Anti-Europe parties like UKIP as they do not have particularly strong policies for the British economy. Trouble is the main parties are unlikely to take us out of Europe and the Anti-European  parties in the European Parliament will not be doing their best to help Britain within Europe and will get loads of money to shout YA SUCKS BOOO a lot. The best thing to do is vote the Pro-European Parties into the European Parliament and the Anti-Europe Parties into the National Parliament. . . (Assuming folk are against the EU, ); ironically the exact opposite of what is likely to happen because the worst thing that can happen in a democracy is let the public vote. The twist in that is the worst people to be in charge in a country that does not allow a democratic vote is the people in charge.

You are left with one rather radical option just put my name on all the ballot papers for everything, I will sort it out, although I will not take us out of Europe, they are OK they just have leaders like us, that are a bit self indulgent and rather like themselves a bit too much.      

Che Guevara and the huge tins of Red Bull and a Zombie

I did my bodyguard bit for the Ghost Writer today, but it did not go down well apparently the Che Guevara meets Rambo image I chose is not suitable for the modern office environment and large Gatling guns are frowned on by members of staff. As it turned out the Ghost Writers new office was remarkably quiet although he is a little annoyed as he could not find his security pass and only managed to enter the building because of two things. The first of which is, he is rather well known for his battered appearance and grumbling at everyone as he enters the main reception area. And the second, which had an even greater impact being, he had a bodyguard who was holding a fairly mean looking Gatling gun capable of accidently going off and sort of removing parts of the ceiling and the security cameras in a slightly indiscriminate and random way.

I also saw as I was guarding the Ghost Writer during the day two very large tins of Red Bull, a drink I have to say I have never drunk, these tins were about ten feet high and strapped to the top of cars. Anyway to be on the safe side I thought it best to remove the tins from the vehicles in a quick and effective manor, which involved a large gun and a stampeding crowd screaming and running off in the opposite direction. As a result I have now been banned from being a bodyguard unless we are somewhere no one knows us.

I then just about made in home in time to see Miss Jackie and Mr Phil who both said O MY GOD it’s the zombie Ghost of  Che Guevara again as they leapt into their car which appeared to have the remains of a large can on the roof.

So what I think I have just said is not a lot happened today although the Ghost Writer is not happy with his new tea making facilities, he plans to take his own sugar next time….

How Marie Antoinette's cake started the French Revolution

There is an old saying that says . . . You can’t have your cake and eat it . . . .  but what this saying fails to point out is that you cant eat your cake unless you have a cake to eat in the first place. . . . . You can’t eat a cake you don’t have . . . makes more sense to me. Now I hear some of you saying what is he talking about, first he has a cake he is not planning to eat, then he says he is planning to eat the cake he has not got . . . . IS HE MAD. Well no.

            

You see yesterday unbeknown to yourselves because I did a sneaky and did not write it in my diary HAH HAHHAH HAHHAH Hahhah hah ah ahahhah ah (OOOooo no hang on I did), I made a cake. It was a birthday cake for Miss Barbara the wife of the Ghost Writer who says that if I ever mention her in my mad diary she will sue me for every penny . . .. . . . AH, luckily I have no money so PHEW. Anyway this was not just any cake because it is the first cake I have ever made. And believe it or not it is even edible I have tested it by eating loads of it to be sure it is OK I blamed the teeth marks on mice and antelope, mainly antelope as they have larger teeth.

I did have a recipe to follow but it all looked a bit complex so in the end thought as it was all going to end up in one cake anyway I may as well throw it all in one bowl and mix it up. Apparently I got wine and cake confused according to the dog and it is not traditional to use your feet to mix a cake, but the dog said it was OK because I kept my socks on so it would be fine and we could hide the bits of fluff under the icing.  That’s another thing why call it icing when it does not have ice in it, however I got round that by adding some Bisto which thickened the icing up again and gave it a nice sort of chocolate look. Dad said it is the best Gravy cake he has ever eaten and the Anchovies were an interesting surprise.   

After we had some of the cake, Mrs Ghost Writer said she may keep the cake because if we eat it we can’t keep it, and we need to remember the old saying. .. . . .  You can’t have your cake and eat it . . . . . and as it is truly unique it should be preserved as an example to show to others as an example of what can be done if you don’t follow instructions?

As a reward I got to dig a big hole out in the cold and wet to plant a pear tree that Miss Issy had bought as a present for Mrs Ghost Writer, and then was sent down into the large muddy wet cold hole to dig mud. It is not entirely what I was expecting having made such an interesting cake for everyone but on the plus side everyone said I could have more cake once I was allowed out of the hole. . . . . . . .YUM. Actually it is not the sort of cake you would eat loads of in one go and so I may need to go and lie down for a bit, we are off out later for a meal so that will be WELL COOL. I said I would take everyone there a slice of cake but everyone here has gone AAAAAAuuuuuuuuuuuggggghhhHHHHH a lot.

Apparently according to mum it was a cake just like mine that started the French Revolution when that Marie Antoinette said let them eat cake  . . . . .. WOW 

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