Professor FrankenZompire and Mr Voodoo Vam Banshee's Mechanical Emporium of Amazing Contraptions Ltd

The Ghost Writer has got his car back today and it is working hunky dory again so he is very pleased, however he says that he was not expecting it to be turned into a fire breathing dragon by the garage, even though they were very reasonable with their charges. They told him that the modifications to turn the car into a large undulating fire breathing dragon were free and all part of their comprehensive service package. The Ghost Writer says all he really wanted was his car back as the modified vehicle is very unpractical and he is blaming the person who recommended this particular garage because he personally  had never heard of it before.

AH DAMN; as it happens it was me who told him to go to Professor Frankenzompire and Mr Voodoo VaM Banshee’s Mechanical Emporium of amazing contraptions Limited, as they are very friendly and always willing to help. Yes they do have a bit of a reputation for getting a little over enthusiastic in their work, but that is a positive thing when your car is poorly and needs to be fixed.  I guess I should have warned him they are rather keen on dragons though.

Still it is a cool car (dragon), although the police have told the Ghost Writer that the flames emitting from the mouth of the dragon are not legal.

I did not do a lot today, ate, painted and poked about in ditches with a pointy stick and cooked  marshmallow on the breath of a dragon car……..

Micro-Steam Powered Electro-Mechanical Wasps and The Duchess of Cabbage.......

Last night after I had finished my diary entry I sort of mentioned I was off to do battle with the Wasps. I don’t mind Wasps normally, but with four nests all in close proximity to the back door; and as a result of the warm summer (so far) their numbers rapidly increasing, it was time to do battle. Now I thought the little critters would all be in bed but even after 10:30pm there was still some activity but I decided it was time to act. Dad had very kindly supplied me with a powder that he had bought from a shop which you puffed in the general direction of the nest and with its total range of about twelve inches meant I needed to be close up and staring the beasts in the eye so to speak. Easy enough with the ground based nest but no so easy up a ladder puffing the stuff under the roof tiles, PHEW I am glad we live in a bungalow.

So with my torch and powder I attacked the nests and WOW ZAP POW there were wasps all over the place loads of them (I mean really loads), because it was dark they were out to attack anything that was bright so the security light, the windows, and of course my torch which I very quickly switched off. Now these beasts were mad and out of control but I was OK because I just stood in the dark and listened to the massed swarms of wasps getting more and more confused crashing into lights and windows and then they all just sort of died.

I am not sure what is in that powder but I would not advice making dinner with it because just a small amount zapped an awful lot of wasps.

Dad has said he had got used to the constant buzz and attacks and it was too quiet so he is now making Micro-Steam Powered Electro-Mechanical Wasps to replace the real ones, but his are people friendly as they smile and can be trained to hum the national anthem, which he says will be very useful when that royal has her baby, you know the Duchess of Cabbage . . . . . . He is not really good with royals so a bit confused who they all are.

I would just like to point out No Wasps were harmed in the making of this Diary Entry . . . . . .  AH OK that’s not entirely true  . . . . . Sorry Wasps.

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The Apprentice Final, Lord Sugar, the BBC and Leonardo Da Vinci’s famous Steam Powered Mechanical Duck

Last night I watched The Apprentice the program on the television where that Lord Sugar is selecting a business partner and making a few pounds at the same time (he is no fool that’s for sure). Last night was the interview with the last five candidates remaining where they have to explain their business plan to several high fly business folk who pick holes in each plan and tell them they are in fact total rubbish.

As I watched it, it became very clear that in reality all five of them really did have really rubbish ideas, well OK four of them did, but the fifth was doing a sneaky and had another partner hidden behind the scenes so basically got chucked out for not playing by the rules.

It now means that the last two in the Apprentice final who are both women have ideas that I would not invest in, let alone poor old Lord S who I guess has to grit his teeth and smile… One wants to start a international baking brand which seems slightly mad (??..... Ooooo look a flying pig) and the other, non intervention cosmetic surgery or as far as I could tell, stab folks faces with needles full of stuff (I think)

So I hear you say what has this to do with me, well you see my idea for the program of mass producing Leonardo Da Vinci’s famous Steam Powered Mechanical Duck (ironically called Rob), recreated from the long lost drawing he did, to sell in its millions to the Chinese who love ducks was laughed out of the board room. Those yuppie BBC folk said my idea was futile and would bite the dust before it ever got going, although my prototype Da Vinci Steam Powered Mechanical Duck bit Lord Sugar rather than the dust during the demonstration which may have affected the final decision and I for one was not amused by being told that all Steam Powered Mechanical Duck scientists are in fact a bunch of Quacks ……………. HAH HHAHAH HAHH AH hah ah ah ha hah ah hah ah ah ha hah ah ah ah ha hah ah aahhh OK it was a bit amusing 

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Steam Punk soft toys, and gold hidden in hedges

I have had to leave the Ghost Writer locked in the room with the computer because he is still having teething problems with it (why do things have teething problems anyway unless you have teeth it seems a bit odd), I have promised to feed him once he has sorted the computer out a bit. He appears to be gibbering in an inconsiderable way but then he is an IT guru and I am told all IT people talk gibberish at the best of times so I am ignoring him until he has sorted things and I can drum in cyberspace. It was a really lovely day today although it was very very very cold indeed despite all the sun. This has one great advantage, in that the solar panels are making a bit of power on the roof and I think we have generated more power today than we have on any day in nearly the last two weeks, solar panels like being cold unlike me. We have also just had Mr Kris round chatting and he is planning to make steam punk soft toy sort of things, so that will be very cool (that’s cool, as in hay man, wow look at the seagulls? not cold as in Burrrrrrrr), I have promised to find him a few small gears and interesting mechanical bits for his project.

Please note I am having to draw my own drawing now, times are tough 

I did venture out briefly to saw through a couple more branches on the hedge, the thing is just too high in places so needs a bit of work. I quite like doing this ever since I was told by dad that when the garden was the perimeter of the old motte-and-bailey castle just behind us it was very common for the lord of the castle to hide gold in the top of the big hedges. And better still that if I found any gold I could keep it all, sadly so far I have not found any gold but I am still optimistic that I will as the hedges are very overgrow.

I am sure I must have done other stuff but just at present I cant think of what it was so I am running off again now to check on the Ghost Writer, if I don’t watch him he will get distracted and try and escape.

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